Is this mean? Or am I overreacting?

trouts mom

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I love my little furry baby, and I am especially close to her now after we almost lost her a couple months ago.

So, sometimes my boyfriend (who also loves her) will do things to her and it kind of bothers me. I need your opinions if these things are mean or the cat knows he's just playing:

-If she is napping on the top of the lazyboy, sometimes he will just push her off. And then he laughs and thinks its funny because she always wakes him up so its okay for him to wake her up like that.

- He will pick her up and hold her about 4 feet away from the couch and just toss her onto the couch.

- He sometimes locks her in the bedroom if she's annoying him (I usually immediately let her out)

-Also sometimes when she is sleeping he will just yell at her to wake her up...for no reason, just to bug her.

I know he loves her and she loves him because they do cuddle all the time, and their relationship seems good. And I know she is not in any danger at all, But I get really mad at him when he bugs her like this. It's not often that he does these things..but when it does happen, I tell him not to and then he just says he's playing around and she's fine.

What do you guys think?
 

gardenandcats

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I would have a talk with him and tell him that you DO NOT want him treating your cat this way. And you won't stand for it any longer. It is mean and hatefull. I don't see the humor or fun in teasing a cat. You don't hurt the people or animals you love. This isn't loving your cat or caring about your cat. Its a twisted way to show it thats for sure. I wonder how he'd like being thrown 4 feet on the couch or knocked out of his chair. Try yelling at him when hes sound asleep and say thats how the cat feels.
 

sadie's mom

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I completely agree with gardenandcats. He's a meanie!!!!
The only difference is I wouldn't be the one to wake him as he may do the same to you in return.
 

eilcon

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Since you're uncomfortable with how he's treating her, and rightly so, I'd say definitely talk to him.
 

ugaimes

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It would be emotionally abusive of your bf to keep doing this to your cat when he knows how much it hurts YOU to see him doing those things.

I agree that it is not at all nice of him to do these things. We all love our cats and could never imagine playing such cruel games with them!
 

momof3rugratz

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Originally Posted by Trouts mom

I love my little furry baby, and I am especially close to her now after we almost lost her a couple months ago.

So, sometimes my boyfriend (who also loves her) will do things to her and it kind of bothers me. I need your opinions if these things are mean or the cat knows he's just playing:

-If she is napping on the top of the lazyboy, sometimes he will just push her off. And then he laughs and thinks its funny because she always wakes him up so its okay for him to wake her up like that.

- He will pick her up and hold her about 4 feet away from the couch and just toss her onto the couch.

- He sometimes locks her in the bedroom if she's annoying him (I usually immediately let her out)

-Also sometimes when she is sleeping he will just yell at her to wake her up...for no reason, just to bug her.

I know he loves her and she loves him because they do cuddle all the time, and their relationship seems good. And I know she is not in any danger at all, But I get really mad at him when he bugs her like this. It's not often that he does these things..but when it does happen, I tell him not to and then he just says he's playing around and she's fine.

What do you guys think?
I am not sure if I would keep my temper down or not.
 

boxy

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it sounds to me like he might be jealous of you and your cats relationship
 
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trouts mom

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Thanks for the thoughts guys..I thought I was right but I just wanted to double check!! I will give Ken a talking to about how he treats Trout. He doesn't bug her very often so that's good!

Please don't think he's a bad guy or a mean spirited guy..I think he just doesn't think sometimes about how she might feel about it. He really is a great guy and a great boyfriend but he just needs a beating!
 

zissou'smom

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The one that would really bother me is that he yells at her to wake her up for no reason.
Moving her from somewhere she's sitting isn't really mean to me. If Zissou sits on my chair I usually pick her up and put her on my lap when I sit down or else try to share the seat with her somehow... she has three pieces of furniture that are just hers, why can't I have my chair?
I put Zissou in the bedroom if she needs a time out. Not to punish her necessarily. Like, yesterday I took her for a walk and she saw another cat (which I didn't see) and I picked her up cause she was hissing and she scratched my face up. I brought her upstairs and locked her in a bedroom for about 15 minutes partly for her to calm down and partly so I didn't punish her because I was so mad. (I didn't!) Some cats have to stay in a bedroom all the time through some circumstance.
As for the tossing... Are you sure it's four feet away? Sometimes I "toss" Zissou, meaning I don't necessarily hold her until all four feet are on the couch or bed. She actually likes it, its a little game. Never more than maybe two feet away, and its never anything anyone would call a throw.


If you get mad at your boyfriend for all of this stuff, and he's doing it because he's jealous, you're just going to make the problem worse. Is Trout just your cat or is he both of your cat? The first thing you need to figure out is why he's doing this stuff. He may just have a different idea of cat parenting. In which case, you'll have to compromise. Ask him not to annoy him just for fun and not do anything that could hurt him, and leave it at that. He may think you let the cat do whatever it wants and be just as annoyed as you are about it.
 

lunasmom

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Look too see how your cat reacts too. If she seems timid around your boyfriend then definitely have a talking to him.

I admit that we toss our cats onto the couch/bed (not 4 ft away...more like a foot away), but only because they come back to us each time we do it. It's sort of a game.
 
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trouts mom

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Originally Posted by Zissou'sMom

As for the tossing... Are you sure it's four feet away? Sometimes I "toss" Zissou, meaning I don't necessarily hold her until all four feet are on the couch or bed. She actually likes it, its a little game. Never more than maybe two feet away, and its never anything anyone would call a throw.


If you get mad at your boyfriend for all of this stuff, and he's doing it because he's jealous, you're just going to make the problem worse. Is Trout just your cat or is he both of your cat? The first thing you need to figure out is why he's doing this stuff. He may just have a different idea of cat parenting. In which case, you'll have to compromise. Ask him not to annoy him just for fun and not do anything that could hurt him, and leave it at that. He may think you let the cat do whatever it wants and be just as annoyed as you are about it.
I think he just tosses her because he thinks its cool that she always lands on her feet..maybe its not quite four feet away, but it seems kinda far to me.

Ken is not doing this because he's jealous..he just doesn't think it hurts the cat so he thinks he's just playing with her by doing these things. We have a very open and trusting normal relationship with no underlying emotions.

She is technically my cat, but we got her together..he got her for my birthday for me.

I know he doesn't mean any harm to her..I just have to sternly tell him that it's not good for her to be treated that way.
 
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trouts mom

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Originally Posted by lunasmom

Look too see how your cat reacts too. If she seems timid around your boyfriend then definitely have a talking to him.

I admit that we toss our cats onto the couch/bed (not 4 ft away...more like a foot away), but only because they come back to us each time we do it. It's sort of a game.
She is definetly not timid around him..she loves him..sometimes even more than me it seems
 

babyharley

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Originally Posted by Trouts mom

I think he just tosses her because he thinks its cool that she always lands on her feet..maybe its not quite four feet away, but it seems kinda far to me..
But what if she gets hurt when he 'playfully tosses' her?


Thats what would worry me!
 

momof3rugratz

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Originally Posted by Trouts mom

She is definetly not timid around him..she loves him..sometimes even more than me it seems
WOW maybe she does think he is playing. He just plays rough.
 
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trouts mom

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Originally Posted by babyharley

But what if she gets hurt when he 'playfully tosses' her?


Thats what would worry me!
It worries me too, hence the thread


I won't let him toss her anymore
 
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