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Sad News

post #1 of 29
Thread Starter 
DH and I got some very sad news the other night...from all appearances my father-in-law is dying. His health has been in a study decline for the last several months...he's been suffering from a combination of diabetes (which he refuses to try to help with his diet), colon problems, and prostate cancer. He was in the hospital last week as a result of (another) fall, and since he's been home he's getting steadily worse. He now has a couple good hours a day, but the rest of the time he's incoherent and hallucinating. We're guessing he has a week or two left, but we don't really could be a few months.

Pat's going to fly down tomorrow to see him. Hopefully we'll have a better idea when he gets there. He has a sister and BIL who live with his parents, and another brother in the area. A second brother is there now as well. I'm staying here for now until Pat's got a better handle on the situation (plus, I think he needs some time to just be with his family by himself).

I've been holding it together pretty good for the last few days. I feel like I need to keep it together for him. I'm late at work now, though, and it seems to just have really hit me. I'm sitting at my desk and can't seem to stop crying. (Fortunately there's nobody else here to witness it and Pat's bowling tonight so I have time to get myself together and my makeup back on before he gets home.) I've been really fortunate in that I've always had a very close and loving relationship with my in-laws, and I'm really going to miss him too.

So, I really appreciate having you all to type to just now. It's making me feel better just to get it out. If you have any vibes or prayers to spare, I'd appreciate you sending them our way. Thanks, everyone!
post #2 of 29
I'm so sorry to hear the news. It's so sad when people just don't want to help themselves, and the family doesn't understand why. I hope he finds peace soon.
post #3 of 29
I'm so sorry to hear that Tari.

I'm sending lots of good thoughts and prayers to you, Pat and your in-laws.
post #4 of 29
I'm very sorry to hear this Tari. It sounds like you have such a wonderfully close relationship with your FIL. My prayers are with you and your family
post #5 of 29
Tari, I am so sorry to hear about this

Sending vibes to your FIL
post #6 of 29
*sending lots of vibes**
post #7 of 29
I am so very sorry

please take care and keep us posted. We will definitely be thinking of you all.
post #8 of 29
I'm so sorry to hear that
post #9 of 29
i'm so sorry..
post #10 of 29
I'm so sorry to hear this, Tari. Your FL will be in my thoughts and prayers.
post #11 of 29
So sorry to hear this. Many vibes sent to you and your family!!
post #12 of 29
I am so, so sorry for you and your husband . I hope, if it is his time, that he goes painlessly and peacefully.
post #13 of 29
Sending many vibes to your father-in-law and the rest of the family!
post #14 of 29
Oh Tari!! I am so sorry to hear this!! i hope things get better for him! Diabetes can be a horrible thing if left unchecked!
You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers!!
post #15 of 29
Thread Starter 
Thanks so much, everyone, for your prayers and vibes! That TCS magic seems to have worked least for the moment.

Pat went to Arizona the Friday after my first post, and the called on Saturday to say I'd better come down. It looked like things were at the end. I went down the following Monday to be with the family. It was a total emotional roller coaster...he was doing poorly, then seemed to get better, then doing poorly again. He rallied on Thursday and Friday and we had a wonderful time celebrating his 80th birthday with him.

On Sunday, though, things took a very serious downturn. We believed that would be his final day. We sat with him, said our final goodbyes, sang songs, and read from the bible with him. It was a very long, emotional day. Then...about 5:00 in the evening...he suddenly woke up and asked for a cup of coffee and something to eat. I swear, it was that sudden!! He was wide awake, wanted to talk, and was the most animated he'd been the entire trip. (We were all exhausted and ready for bed...but he was telling Navy stories.) He could tell something had been going on, and after he pressed us we gave in and told him we thought he was dying. He wanted us to tell him what we had said to him, and we all did. It ended up being a lovely time.

So, I'm back home now and my FIL is in the capable hands of my sister-in-law and the wonderful hospice nurses. It's a mixed blessing...he's still not out of the woods and we don't want to see things drag on so long he suffers. It looks like we might still have him for a while, though.

Thanks, again, everyone for lending a shoulder when I really needed it!
post #16 of 29
I'm sorry to hear this. *sends vibs*
post #17 of 29
I'm just reading this now. Sending your FIL some vibes and lots of hugs for you!!
post #18 of 29
Plenty of **hopeful vibes** coming your way Tari. I hope everything works out for the best, whatever that may be.
post #19 of 29
{{{prayers and vibes}}} continuing to be sent for your FIL! What a treasure he is -with all those Navy stories - I hope that someone is going to record them, for the children of the family! My FIL is an Iwo Jima survivor, & I went to the annual meet last year in Myrtle Beach - what a wonderful, wonderful experience! And meeting the war wives - so many precious people! Our elders are so underrated by this current society! Praise be that you're in a family that knows better!
post #20 of 29
Continuing prayers and vibes for your FIL. Hope all is well!
post #21 of 29
Continuing to send lots of prayers your FIL's way
post #22 of 29
That is good that you all had time together with him, and that he was able to share with you all in the end.

post #23 of 29
Dear TARI! you´re in my prayers!
I´m so sorry for the bad news!
Don´t give up!
post #24 of 29
Tari, I have just found this thread. I'm sorry to hear of this rollercoaster time you've had with your father-in-law, and happy to know that he has rallied somewhat, giving you some more time with him. It's a difficult time in the life of a family when you know there's not a lot of time left for a loved parent. I pray you will have many good and happy memories from these last days and weeks to take forward with you, and that when his time comes it will be a peaceful passing.
post #25 of 29
sorry to hear about such saddening news. your family is in my prayers!
post #26 of 29
Oh, I hope he continues to have more good days! It is difficult when they are so sick, and you don't know how they can go on...I'm glad he is feeling a little better. Nice that he was alert when everyone was there to visit!
post #27 of 29
My sympathy to you all. I hope that the stresses of this difficult time are manageable and theat you find the strength to support each other through whatever comes.
post #28 of 29
Life is so precious. Tons of vibes for your father in law
post #29 of 29
I'm very sorry to hear this..I'm glad he's feeling a little better though.
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