or Connect
TheCatSite.com › Forums › General Forums › The Cat Lounge › Just a funny but true email
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:

Just a funny but true email

post #1 of 4
Thread Starter 
Welcome to Omaha!

1. You must learn to pronounce the city name. It is "oh-ma-ha."

2. Forget the traffic rules you learned somewhere else.Omaha has its own
version of traffic rules....the truck with the loudest exhaust goes next at a 4-way stop. The truck with the biggest tiers goes after that.

(Note: Blue haired ladies driving anything have the right of way anytime.)

3. To find anything in Omaha it is required that you know where 72nd & Dodge is.......which is the Alpha and Omega. The Beginning and the End.

4. The morning rush hour is from 6:00 to 10:00. The evening rush hour is from 3:00 to 7:00. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.

5. If you actually stop at a yellow light you will be rear ended, cussed out and possibly shot.

6. You must know that "JFK Freeway, MLK Freeway, I-480 and U.S. 75" are the same road.

7. Construction is a permanent fixture in Omaha. The barrels are moved around in the middle of the night to make the next days driving a bit more exciting.

8. Watch very carefully for road hazards such as deer, skunks, dogs, barrels, cones, cows, horses, pot holes, cats, pieces of other cars, opossums, truck tires, raccoons, squirrels, rabbits, and crows or vultures feeding on said items.

9. If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally activated."

10. The minimum speed on "JFK, MLK, I-480, & U.S. 75 (see above) is 85 mph. Anything less is considered downright sissy...This is Nebraska's version of NASCAR.

11. Never honk at anyone. Ever. Seriously.

12. If you are in the left lane, and only going 70 in a 55-65 zone....you are considered a road hazard, and will be "flipped off" accordingly.

13. Ground clearance of at least 12 inches is recommended for city drving.

14. If it's 10 degrees, Thanksgiving must be next weekend.

15. If it's 10 to 20 degrees and sleeting/snowing, then watch out. Omaha
residents consider this "demolition derby day" and will be all over the roads (front ways, back ways, etc.). Please proceed with caution as you could be their next target.

Again we say, WELCOME TO OMAHA, NEBRASKA. Enjoy your stay.
post #2 of 4

and I thought Cleveland was bad!!
post #3 of 4
oh wow....
post #4 of 4
Originally Posted by sharky

6. You must know that "JFK Freeway, MLK Freeway, I-480 and U.S. 75" are the same road.
reminds me of a funny story, back when i was a travel agent. a client had called, trying to find the office. she had gotten directions from another agent, who told her we were on Stemmons Freeway - but she couldn't find Stemmons on her map. i told her it was 35E. she was astounded - she knew where that was! all the freeways in Dallas have both numbers & names, & some have more than one name. in the mornings, you'll hear the traffic guys talk about 'loop 12, loop 12 northwest highway & loop 12 walton-walker' 3 different roads, but they're all loop 12? 635 is also LBJ, 75 is also Central, & the new tollway [no number] is called 'the Bush'! there's more, but i don't want to bore y'all!
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:
  Return Home
  Back to Forum: The Cat Lounge
TheCatSite.com › Forums › General Forums › The Cat Lounge › Just a funny but true email