Super Scared Kitty

I have had my kitten, Sambuca, since September 2005. She's always been a shy kitty, and every a little scaredy cat at times. She does not take well to any raised voices or scolding. We try to scold her only when she does something that could be dangerous to her health (ie - playing with cords).

Within the past four days, she has had three accidents (pee). The first occurred at night when I pulled her out from underneath to bed when I was getting ready to go to sleep. She likes to sleep in enclosed spaces, so I have a padded cat hut for her to sleep in on the bed. If I go to bed late, then I routinely have to pluck her out from underneath the bed. She had a small trickle of pee when I pulled her out. She was no asleep at the time.

The second incident occurred the next day under similar circumstances. The third incident occurred very early this morning when I was sitting in bed with her. I was petting her as she lay in her cat hut and she hissed at me. I verbally scolded her ("No hissing Buca"). About five minutes later, I realized that she had peed herself and it had seeped out of the cat hut and all over the bed and the covers.

I don't know if this is an indication that she is sick (urinary tract infection), if she is scared, or whether something else is bothering her. We have two other cats in the house, one of whom has been pestering her quite a bit the past week or so. She's so sweet that she doesn't fight back with him.

Some background - We have two other cats, a 4 year old female and a 3 year old male. Both have been fixed. There are two litterboxes in our apartment, and Sambuca regularly uses both of them.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated!

I am not trying to be mean, but is there some reason that she cannot stay under the bed? Pulling her out is likely traumatic for her. My Pearl is very shy, and spends a lot of her time under my bed. She seems to feel safe there, so I let her stay. She also urinates on herself when she is really frightened or upset. The carrier always makes her have accidents. I think that was because she spent the first few months of her life in a birdcage, only to be pulled out when her former owner felt like abusing her. Scooter is still a baby and tries to play with her. He chases her, and it upsets her terribly. I have had her for 5 years, and every time it seems we make some progress, she starts hiding again. I know it seems right to scold her sometimes, but some cats are so traumatized by it, it seems better just to remove yourself from the situation, like stopping petting her when she hisses. I found that is more effective with Pearl. Shy kitties can make you feel bad, when you know you are trying to love them and do what is best for them, but sometimes they just don't understand that you mean them no harm. If illness has been ruled out, you will need a lot of patience for you shy girl. I am sure everyone here will be glad to help as much as possible, this is just my take on it from having a shy girl, too. Best of luck with her, please keep us posted.

I would maybe take her to the vet just in case..I don't think it's normal for kitties to just pee wherever unless they may be sick? Maybe she goes under the bed because she feels sick too?

I don't know..just a thought.

There isn't anything wrong with her staying under the bed. I bring her out in an attempt to get her to bond with me and so that she can be close at night. She loves her little hut, and for the most part, it has stopped her from running and hiding. We've been able to establish that the hut is her place. The other cats are not allowed in it and whenever she seems particularly skittish, I pull the hut out and she'll sit next to me in it until she feels better. Taking her out from underneath the bed is a habit because I've found that when she is allowed to stay there at night, she become more anti-social and skittish during the day.

Although Buca has been timid from the get-go, this is the first instance of accidents that she has had, and that's why I'm worried about her.

I know that I need to work a little harder with her to get her to bond and come out of her shell a little bit more. She's come a long way in the months that I've had her and we seemed to be making progress. Other than the pee incidents, she doesn't seem to be frightened of me or my roommate. When she is scolded, it is very limited, brief, and very controlled, because she does have such a timid reaction. And by scolding, I mean basically telling her "no." Anything more than that and the poor thing is just a wreck.

Thanks for the input. I am going to call the vet during lunch today and see if she recommends bringing her in. I'd like to rule out a UTI or other medical problem first.

The trouble with cats, and scolding, etc. (not that you're doing anything wrong at all - we all usually do more if anything) is that they don't have a concept of 'bad'. They don't know what they're doing is wrong, but can only learn it's unacceptable. But sometimes we have to put ourselves in their place and not try to change their basic natures if it's not hurting them or anyone else, but only annoying us. Maddening, aren't they! You do sound like you're bending over backwards to accommodate her though, so I can't imagine what else you can do (except maybe keep that other 'pest' out of her face, if possible).

Maybe she is just one of those nervouse cats.

Good news - no UTI. That is a relief in a small way. I took her to the vet during my lunch break and she checked out just fine.

I had a good discussion with the vet about ways to approach Buca to work on gaining trust and acclimating her a bit more to people. I think I've got a plan of letting her come to people for attention, instead of trying to coak her out. It's going to take some time, but we'll be giving her plenty of treats and positive reinforcement for good and social behavior, and find another way to discourage the unacceptable behavior.

We think she is also a little skittish because there is generally a lot of tension in our household lately. Both my roommate and I are third year law students about to finish our degrees in May. We're both getting excited and nervous about graduating, passing the bar, and finding a good job. We think she's picking up on some of that and possibly misreading tension for anger. We'll be working on that with her as well.

Thanks for all the caring responses and input.

Originally Posted by M.L.

Good news - no UTI. That is a relief in a small way. I took her to the vet during my lunch break and she checked out just fine.

I had a good discussion with the vet about ways to approach Buca to work on gaining trust and acclimating her a bit more to people. I think I've got a plan of letting her come to people for attention, instead of trying to coak her out. It's going to take some time, but we'll be giving her plenty of treats and positive reinforcement for good and social behavior, and find another way to discourage the unacceptable behavior.

We think she is also a little skittish because there is generally a lot of tension in our household lately. Both my roommate and I are third year law students about to finish our degrees in May. We're both getting excited and nervous about graduating, passing the bar, and finding a good job. We think she's picking up on some of that and possibly misreading tension for anger. We'll be working on that with her as well.

Thanks for all the caring responses and input.

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I am glad. I hope what you discussed works well.

I have an extremely shy kitty, too. My black girl Jasmine. She was born a feral (wild), and though I got her at 10 weeks, she remains pretty skittish. I think I understand what you mean by "scold". Whereas with Garfield I will hold my hand flat right in front of his face, and loudly say, "Garfield, NO!". With little Jazzy, we will shake our finger back and forth, and gently say, "no, no, no!". Any other cat would come running if you talked that sweetly, but Jazz slinks away. Mostly, we just ignore when she is "naughty".

Check out the feral and rescue board on this site. A lot of the interventions that work to tame wild kitties also help skittish pets. Jasmine used to stay primarily out of my site. I have a long dangly toy, and sometimes as I walk around the house, I drag it. Of course the tame kitties follow, but sometimes so does Jazz. So she is 4-5 feet from me, and having fun. I also run the toy over her back, to help her not be so afraid of indirect touch from me.

Food helps a lot with her. That is how I tamed her sister. I actually let Jazz eat food off my plate. I was trying to tame her by letting her have little pieces off the edge of my plate, but she began reaching over for the better pieces...and it was so nice to have her close that I let her be "spoiled". She now will jump up on my lap if there is food involved. I can walk up and pet her briefly (sometimes). And tonight I picked her up and let her back down right away, and she didn't get terrified.

I think having a safety hut for your kitty sounds like a good idea.

One other suggestion would be to add a litterbox. Even if it is right next to the other one...maybe the aggressive cat is bugging her when she tries to go potty. Cats can be amazingly territorial about their potties! LOL!

I have a shy kitty, too. I figured out that she absolutely LOVES to be brushed, so that's been one activity that I do every couple of days or so that helps us bond. (I've had her for almost 9 years and she's still shy.) Most of the time, she hangs out in the living room, under the table or behind the curtains in the window. I always know where she is, but I respect her right to privacy. I also see her when she's hungry! Just be patient with her and she'll come around. Also, if there's a lot of tension in your house, you might get some Feliway/Comfort Zone plug ins.

Stephanie