I'm just not fitting in

Well, I have been at my new work place for 8 weeks now and I feel like I am just not fitting in. These people have all worked together for years (I am talking about 10 years plus some of them). They have their little gab groups, that go on break and just stand around chatting with each other. It doesn't help that I am the youngest here by about 8 to 10 years. I try to get involved in conversations and I just get these strange looks. I don't know why I am trying so hard - I leave in 3 weeks for almost a year. Then I have to start all over again.

It is very frustrating - any suggestions?

Originally Posted by adymarie

Well, I have been at my new work place for 8 weeks now and I feel like I am just not fitting in. These people have all worked together for years (I am talking about 10 years plus some of them). They have their little gab groups, that go on break and just stand around chatting with each other. It doesn't help that I am the youngest here by about 8 to 10 years. I try to get involved in conversations and I just get these strange looks. I don't know why I am trying so hard - I leave in 3 weeks for almost a year. Then I have to start all over again.

It is very frustrating - any suggestions?

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I had a job like that where I felt like I just didn't fit in. It's tough and makes learning hard and for long days. I wish you the best.

I hope things look up. Also if you are looking forward to the leaving for a year then soak yourself up in it.

I send hugs and good wishes. I'm sure it's tough. One year when I was teaching 4th grade, 4 of the 5 other teachers were downright cruel to me.
It made things very hard.

Ady- I have the same situation. Actually there is another girl that works here that is 25 but she acts like a child.... all the rest are 31 and up. That is 10 years difference for me. Usually I eat lunch by myself at my desk. How sad I know. They talk about their children and husbands and family life and I talk about my cat.... I don't mind talking about my cat but I feel left out. I mean i have Lee's neice and nephew but its not the same!!

Just hang in for the rest of your time before maternity leave. The office dynamics may change when you are gone!!!
At my old job I was the only married woman who didn't have children so just guess what the others talked about all the time. Plus there was on lady 15 yrs older than I and the rest were 8 yrs and more younger than I was. So I never really "fit-in". I can sympathize with how you feel!!

I know what you're going through...I'm in a similar deal. Although I don't get to leave for a year!

I like the place I work at and the people are really friendly, but most were hired in because they knew somebody that worked here already. Of the 40 employees, only 4 were hired off the street. Everyone is tightnit and have their own private jokes.
It's hard, because mainly I'm a shy person and most of the people I work with are intraverted as well. They're nice, but its harder for me to get to know people when I'm just as shy as them. It's taken me 6 + months but I'll actually havea conversation with some people.
Just remember that they don't know you, so you're more likely to get the strange looks and stuff. I would just start off with people individually and work yourself up to groups.

That's kinda how it was for me at my job when I first started, except i was the youngest by a good 20+ years besides the guy who got hired in with me and he was 10 years older anyway! the only thing that saved me was that I work with my mother, ok maybe that doesn't sound all that great either I kept to myself alot, but during the last couple years there's been more hiring of people my age

I'm sorry things are stressful at work for you. Hopefully after you return after your maternity leave things will be different.

Aww Ady I'm sorry. As the others have said, I would try not to let this worry you - it is a short term problem. In three weeks you will have finished with it for a year. Then, when you come back it might all be different.

It may be that the others are feeling, subconsciously, that they will only just start to get to know you by the time you leave. It's hard isn't it.

That's a tough situation. At least you'll be leaving in 3 weeks and have a brand new baby to look forward to.

I once worked somewhere for 2 years. I was one of a handful of people who could communicate in English. So I spent my breaks sitting alone at the table, reading my magazines, and blocking out their babble. Someone my age worked there for a while and could tranlate for me, and I found out that I didn't want to know what they were talking about most of the time anyway. They spent their time b*tching about everyone and each other.
It's really hard finding a workplace where everyone fits in and there's a decent morale.

Really honestly, just stick to your work for the next 3 weeks. Are you coming back after the year off? Maybe things will be different then, such as there will be someone new there that you two can gossip about the "others" with.

Adrienne I am so sorry for you, thats all you need.
I am in the same situation at work, Ive been there 10 months now. I hate it, the 2 women I work with (34 and 59) have worked together for years and just whisper about people all day. I am not into that so I just don't get included into any of their conversations.
I don't really know anything about them which I think is pretty sad. They know little about me either.
At least soon you will be off on maternity and yes you will have to go back to it but you might feel differently about it then.
If you don't, theres no point in slogging it out somewhere you are unhappy...concentrate on finding a new job. Or talk to your boss and see if he can organise some sort of 'Team building day'.

Yes, it is hard to enter something like that. I hope you find another job that you fit in better!

Originally Posted by lunasmom

Really honestly, just stick to your work for the next 3 weeks. Are you coming back after the year off? Maybe things will be different then, such as there will be someone new there that you two can gossip about the "others" with.

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Yup - I will be back here after the year. And the funny thing was I fought for this position at this location as it is closer to home then the other place I could have gone, where I know people at. These women just seem to have fluff for brains! It is bad enough that they don't work during the day and then get overtime to do their work, but if I have to hear one more time about this or that shopping spree, or the "find" they found for their renovation I will go startk raving mad!

Thanks for all of the support! At least if I am not being social at work, I can spend more time on TCS and that is a bonus!