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Any suggestions?

post #1 of 20
Thread Starter 
I'm a member on another forum too, but now I'm having so much problems with another member there. He is just completely drving me crazy, threatening me not to provoke him to reply to my threads, constantly moaning about me to the moderators and other members etc. Is there anything I can do to make him stop? Don't tell me to ignore him, I've tried and it does not work.
I'd hate to leave that forum because of him, I really love it there, but he is making it really awful place with his behaviour. Moderators are aware of his behaviour, but aren't doing anything, it would cause too much problems or something if they would for example ban him. Any suggestions aynone?
post #2 of 20
It sounds like you've done everything you can. I don't see why they can't ban him! If it is a Vbulletin Board or a UBB Bulletin board, the administrator of the website/board can easily go into the control pannel of the admin. section and ban his entire ip, and ban his name. The only other thing I can suggest is re-registering a new name, and see if he will leave. What board is it, if you don't mind me asking?

Can you put him on your ignore list? Or remove your email so he can't bother you?
post #3 of 20
I don't really have any suggestions for you...it seems to me like if this man is harrassing you so badly, the moderators there should be doing something about it. It is sad to let one person ruin a good place.
post #4 of 20
Let me add my two cents, please, since I know exactly who C&K is speaking of, and he has also given me the same treatment.

This turd used to be a moderator. In real life, he is a complete loser. He has been fired from every job he's ever had, has no close friends and is estranged from his family. He's been asked to leave every rescue group he's been involved in. He claims to be a devout Christian but does not even belong to a church (can you say Russell Yates?). LOSER. On top of that, he is a professed cat-killer, only having been "reformed" in the last 12 or so years, by his account. He admittedly "can't handle rejection" yet refuses to get any psychological help. He has such bad communications skills (with a lot of plain stupidity thrown in) that he can't even post a message that can be understood. Many times he posts answers to problems that weren't even posed, replies to things that weren't even asked.

The problem is, though, that he has set himself up to be a very wise man. He has never been involved in any kind of TNR or capturing, taming, or adopting out of ferals or abandoned cats. ALL he has ever done is house them. I understand that is a very important part of any rescue work, so I'm not poo-pooing that. The problem is, though, that he presents himself as having done all that, when in fact all he knows about the subject is what he's gotten on "Ask Jeeves". The only ferals he's ever fostered were just as wild when they left his home as they were when they arrived. His fosters were transported to and from the adoption site, but he never worked the adoptions, so he knows nothing about screening adopters, how to capture a feral, etc. He always has about 6 or 8 cats at any one time (he doesn't even rescue anymore, I guess all the local rescues know to shun him by now, but he's not averse to just taking a cat he happens to see on the street and claiming it "appeared to be abandoned"), and clearly knows very little about cat behavior because he readily admits that they all piss all over the house (I know this is a problem anyone can occasionally encounter, but ALL his spray and go outside the box.) He has occasionally posted about "putting on a choke-hold" or "slapping" his cats.

He has nothing better to do all day (no hobbies, no friends) but sit on the computer and email and pm the folks on that board (the only one he posts too because when he occasionally ventures out to another one he is immediately flamed off the board). There are a few really smart, experienced people on that board (he's NOT one of them), but I have always found that IN GENERAL the people that post on that board are either inexperienced pet owners, immature, or not very smart (that's NOT badmouthing, we are all of different types). Therefore, many are the type that will easily look upon someone who posts constantly with a lot of "facts" (that are frequently wrong, which is the worst part) as being "smart". In other words, he has made them believe he is Cat God, and many of them have swallowed it. Yes, there are the smart ones who know him for what he is, but they are, unfortunately, not the majority.

Therefore, the administrators fear that banning him will create a bigger stink-up than is created when he takes an occasional disliking to another member and causes them to leave.

Putting him on "ignore" is not the answer, because I want HIM to ignore ME. He scrutinizes every post of anyone he has set his sights for and emails the person (who has not yet realized they need to find out all his email addresses and block them) vicious, largely unreadable spew. He also emails any of his pals and freely discusses the other member. He doesn't leave it private, though, he also attacks publicly on the board. Of course, since his case never has any merit, and he knows it, he fills his spew with distortions and out-and-out lies. He then emails you about how he's gotten "15 other emails from other members agreeing with him". Funny, it's always 15, never 3, never 21. I'm always 90% sure there were no other emails, but the 10% doubt makes me wonder who is talking about me behind my back, and what are they saying? That makes it very difficult for me to enjoy posting, wondering each time I do how many negative emails and pm's are flying around about me, full of his lies and distortions.

And the sock puppet won't work, especially in C&K's case, becase unlike this board, the other board is real big on posting pictures, and C&K is the most prolific picture-posting member. If she went back in as a sock puppet, she would never be able to post Casper and Kitty's pics again, and then there would be little point in even posting.

Besides, he scrutinizes things so closely (remember, he has nothing better to do) that he would easily realize it was a sock puppet. My roommate registered and posted occasionally. In some of her posts she mentioned some of the features of the D/FW area. She also called him on some of his more stupid posts (this was not because I prompted her - I didn't even realize yet that she had found my bookmark, lurked, joined OR posted!). He then jumped to the conclusion that my roommate was MY sock puppet, and sent her a vile email as if she were me. This while he currently had his own real sock puppet going, which he refuses to this day to admit to. In that email to my roommate, too, he mentioned my "800 square foot apartment". Yes, he's been here before, but that was a year ago, and the only way he could possible know that me and Lynn didn't move into a bigger apartment together was if he came poking around to see if I still live here.

I had the supreme misfortune of meeting this person, since we live only 15 miles apart. In fact, it was a year ago today, because it was the day before my birthday! Within about six weeks later he was visiting and I asked him to leave an never come back (something about the cat-killing made me think of serial-killers). ONE YEAR LATER he is still on his campaign. I never even MENTIONED any of this to ANYONE (not even the administrators) until about a month or so ago, and did only then when my roommate alerted me to the fact that he and C&K seemed to have a problem (I had already left the board by then - you can't block a moderator and I was tired of the abusive pm's and emails). Yet, in his email to my roommate, he mentioned "how far I'm taking this grudge". In that year I have not mentioned anything, yet he continues to email and pm and post publicly about and to me, yet I'M the one "holding a grudge"? Besides, what "grudge" do I have? I'M the one that ordered HIM to get out of my life.

So, see Tigger and Debby, this is why he's not banned, this is why putting him on "ignore" does no good, and this is why reregistering is not the answer, and this is why he will NEVER leave.

I really miss that board, too. I like this one, but as anyone knows who posts to multiple boards, they all have different "flavors". I would never leave this board (assuming nothing happens hear like has happened there!), but I do miss the other one, too. But it finally gets to a point that it's just no fun anymore, and it's just not worth it anymore.

And lest you think I wrote my first paragraph in that vain because of our history - I thought all those things about him BEFORE I met him. The reason I proposed a face-to-face meeting with him is I simply felt sorry for him. I was trying to reach out in a Christian manner to someone who looked like they needed some prayers and a friend. BIG mistake. Of course, the one thing I DIDN'T know about before we met was the fact that he used to kill cats, just because they acted like they didn't like him.

Sorry this is so long, but this is a very long and involved story.
post #5 of 20
I don't think there's much else you can do if you've already let the moderators know. Unless you can contact who actually runs the site and let them know. It's too bad they don't have internet police for things like this.

I used to roleplay and no matter where I went there would always be a few jerks who would ruin it for eveyone else.
post #6 of 20
Wow. He sounds like a real jerk! I too am just curious what board it is, although I have no plans to visit there...just curious. I have never heard the phrase "sock puppet" before. I assume this means posting under an alias. We've had that happen here a few times...LOL.
It is absurd that they let him be a moderator there...thank God Anne is more picky in chosing her mods....she would never allow a moderator to harrass anyone.
post #7 of 20
Oops... I didn't see Cooie's post so then is sounds as if there's nothing more you can do. That really sucks too because I know how it is to leave a board because of one or two idiots who think they know it all and can't handle someone else knowing something that they didn't.
post #8 of 20
Thread Starter 
Thanx Cooie for that reply, I guess folks her enow will understand a bit better this situation. I do like this forum too, but it's not easy to get to the "inside gang", I don't know anyone else here except Cooie and Sydney the Kid, and mostly I just end up lurking and not posting.
I rather not metnion the name of that forum, i don't want people to go there and just have a peek of what's going on because of what I posted now, telling about the problems.
post #9 of 20
K&C, I didn't know anyone here when I first started posting. In fact I was looking for a busy canine message board but somehow in my search this site came up. Although it wasn't exsactly what I was looking for this is a busy place and it's filled with friendly and knowledgable people. So now I'm hooked as you can tell from the number of posts and the short time I have been a member.

It's always a little awkward going to a new board or chat room when everyone already knows one another and you feel a little left out(or that's at least how I feel). That's why there's those 10 questions about you posts which I love because it gives me a chance to learn something new about the people here.
post #10 of 20
Thread Starter 
Originally posted by BadHabit
That's why there's those 10 questions about you posts
what do you mean with this?
post #11 of 20
Here's what I mean... 10 more questions about you
post #12 of 20
What she means is, we sometimes have threads with 10 general questions that members can answer if they want about themselves, like "whats your favorite hobby, or food, ect..." it is kind of fun and we learn alot about each other.
post #13 of 20
Ooops...you beat me to the explanation
post #14 of 20
Thread Starter 
ok, thanx!
post #15 of 20
Wow, this guy sounds like a complete psycho! I'm sorry this guy has put you thru so much No one deserves it....
post #16 of 20
Thread Starter 
It's a shame he ruins such a nice forum... I wish the moderators would have banned him ages ago, but esp. after when Cooie told what has happened.
Yesterday I posted very emotinal thread about my Rainbow Bridge dog there, and got very lovely and cheering up responses. Of course he had to reply too (he seems to answer on everything I do too), and as usual, his reply had absolutely no words for me, nor did it had anything to do with my thread, he was moaning about cats...On a dog site, on a dog thread...As if it wasn't hard enough to post it on the first place, he had to ruin it.
post #17 of 20
I just sat here for about 20 minutes reading this thread and absorbing all that is going on. You hit a nerve with me when you mentioned that he claims to be "Cat God" and knows all about feral rescue. I know exactly who you are speaking about. I called him on some of his "expertise posts" in the past and he was gunning for someone else at the time and paid me no mind. It distressed me because he was telling inexperienced people who rescue a stray or two the wrong information! In reading his rhetoric, and watching his posts, it was clear to me that he guns for the people who call his bluff! (Ever hear of conviction?) I think that is what clearly motivates this yahoo. And I so want to call him other names.

This was awhile back and I haven't been back but it sounds like it has escalated. I wonder if the mods have a place on that forum where they discuss things like this that happen to gain more insight into what to do. I know that on some boards, if you just express an interest in being mod, and there are not that many of them, chances are you'll be a mod. Here, the mods all seem to understand that we have been given a responsibility of various degrees and we have clearly defined rules to follow and we do the best we can in keeping things from developing into flames.

On this board, IMO (the one C&K is speaking about) I believe they purposely leave up inflammatory posts because it generates more traffic, which is a sad way to run a board. The more this person is ignored the bigger his guns get. To me, he is severly imbalanced, doesn't have much of life except through the internet, and he should be banned. I would of thought by now, he had been.
post #18 of 20
Thread Starter 
There are 2 moderators, and they are also the owners of that forum. They do a pretty good job taking inflammatory posts off, but can't be there all the time taking care of stuff, so all kind of crap will go thru too. Like for exapmle this guy I'm talking in this thread, he posted a thread how he killed cats about 12 years or so ago... Is that something you want to post on a forum like that? After that, I got into trouble with him, since I copied his thread (he took it offline about 10 minutes after putting it on.) and send it to few people, for example the other moderator whoo didn't mange to see it. So, I became the bad guy there then, he was blaming me for sending that thread to "everyone".

This guy was a moderator for a while, during the time the owners were out of the country for a travel. Then they sort of "forgat" to take off his moderating possibilities, and he kept deleting threads, he says there were plenty of double threads that needed to be deleted, but I'm not buying it. Anyhow, he isn't moderating anymore, which is good, I woulnd't trust him for thzt job ever!
post #19 of 20
What a horrible experience!

No advice, but a lot of sympathy
post #20 of 20
What a jerk! I can't believe that he has nothing better to do than to make trouble for everyone else. What a LOSER! He obviously is up on his high horse and thinks that he knows what hes doing, when really he doesn't. Perhaps he should get some serious help?
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