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Answer Needed!!!

post #1 of 14
Thread Starter 
My friend is 17. she just got kicked out of her house by her parents last night because they found out she had her nose pierced. (Like what the ****?) Last year her ex boyfriend gave her a kitten. now her parents wont give it to her because they say they paid for her shots, it's theirs now. They told her they would rather kill it than give it to her. I called the police to ask if she can take it, they say she has to get a lawyer. She just got kicked out of her house and has no job, where is she gonna get a lawyer? Can she legally take the cat? She was thinking to wait until they let the cat out of the house and take her. As far as I know they can't charge her with theft because it's her cat and it's their fault for letting her out. Am I right?
post #2 of 14
Ok, I know my answer is not going to be very popular, but she is a minor. While I totally disagree wtih them kicking her out, she shouldn't have gotten her nose pierced without her parents permission in the first place.

If she has no job, etc, who has been providing for the cat all this time? I would assume it is the parents, and therefore the parents would be considered owners of the cat.
post #3 of 14
Quote:
Originally Posted by piercedgoddess
My friend is 17. she just got kicked out of her house by her parents last night because they found out she had her nose pierced. (Like what the ****?) Last year her ex boyfriend gave her a kitten. now her parents wont give it to her because they say they paid for her shots, it's theirs now. They told her they would rather kill it than give it to her. I called the police to ask if she can take it, they say she has to get a lawyer. She just got kicked out of her house and has no job, where is she gonna get a lawyer? Can she legally take the cat? She was thinking to wait until they let the cat out of the house and take her. As far as I know they can't charge her with theft because it's her cat and it's their fault for letting her out. Am I right?
I'm so sorry your friend is going through this, it's awful. Can I ask though, you didn't mention that your friend has a place to live permanently? I suggest that if her parents are serious about kicking her out that she set herself up with a place to stay and some money (for kitty food etc) and then persue getting her cat back with her.
Her parents are obviously in love with the cat but if it belongs to your friend then really they should give it to her. One of the reasons they probably arn't giving it to her is because she's not settled where she is (again I'm assuming she's not found anywhere permanent yet?) and they don't want to put the kitty in a home thats not stable.
I hope your friend is able to get her kitty back, or best of all move back with her parents

EDIT: Sorry I missed that she was 17 in your post, I realised she was young but not a minor. I really think she will probably make up with her parents or I hope so anyway. If they pay for everything for the cat, it really needs to stay with them.
post #4 of 14
Seeing as she's a minor, I doubt she can take the cat from her parents. I don't think the city would let her register a pet if she's under 18, therefore it's her parents cat.

She'll probably make up with her parents soon anyway.
post #5 of 14
Abby I would have to agree with you. It's not the answer most people want to hear, but really until your 18 and in some states graduated High School, you're still under your parents ruling thumb (and to a point in college if they are helping you pay). Plus if she doesn't have a job, I assume that her parents did pay for all the shots, etc.

If I were her, I would try to work it out with my parents. If its not feasible, make a steady living for myself and go from there to get the cat.
post #6 of 14
Quote:
Originally Posted by piercedgoddess
My friend is 17. she just got kicked out of her house by her parents last night because they found out she had her nose pierced. (Like what the ****?) Last year her ex boyfriend gave her a kitten. now her parents wont give it to her because they say they paid for her shots, it's theirs now. They told her they would rather kill it than give it to her. I called the police to ask if she can take it, they say she has to get a lawyer. She just got kicked out of her house and has no job, where is she gonna get a lawyer? Can she legally take the cat? She was thinking to wait until they let the cat out of the house and take her. As far as I know they can't charge her with theft because it's her cat and it's their fault for letting her out. Am I right?
I'm afraid I have to go with the parents. Does she have a home to go to? Can she afford the vet care, food, litter for the cat? Someone just starting out on their own should get things in order before bringing a pet into their lives. Unless she thinks harm will come to the cat, I think the cat needs to stay where it can get the best care possible. What your friend did was not what a responsible caregiver would do. She should have thought of it before she jumped into a decision that her parents didn't approve of.

Its like a parent who has to give up a baby because they realize they are to young to be responsible for it and give it the life it deserves. Its a hard decision but usually its the right one. Shes got enough problems right now than to try an introduce a pet into the mix.
post #7 of 14
I don't really think that she is the best person for the cat to be with. While someone who would threaten to kill the cat rather than her have it may not be ideal, its better than being with someone who cannot afford to take care of it. When deciding what is best for the cat right now, who is wrong or right in this situation has nothing to do with it. Whoever can provide the cat with a stable home, food, vet care if necessary, is who should have the cat. Someday your friend will be stable enough, have a job, etc, and then she should make up with her parents and ask for the cat. She should, under no circumstances, steal it. And that is what it would be if she waits for them to let it out and then takes it. Your friend needs to worry about herself right now, not a cat that is in a good home regardless of what is going on between her and her parents. Nobody thinks she deserved to be kicked out for having her nose pierced (I assume there's all kinds of other stuff going on there) but what is best for the cat is to stay where it is. If your friend takes it, she is being selfish at this point in time.
post #8 of 14
Thread Starter 
She had a job, so she was taking care of it before. The parents only paid for the shots because she didnt have a job at that particular time. She just lost her job so thats why she doesnt have one now. She is moving in with a friend, renting a room there and getting a job. I already told her to get settled before she tries to get it back. Her dad is the civil one...hes nice. Her mom is a 8itch from hell and im NOT kidding. I know you may think im just some teenager over reacting because teenagers have to always have their way but im totally serious. Her dad is the nice one and she wants them to divorce so she can live with him. In truth, they are her aunt and uncle, her adoptive parents. To give you an example of how mean this woman is....she told my friend that if she went to live with her real mother (because she knows who she is and talks to her a lot) she would get her sister taken away from her mother. So she doesnt have that choice because she doesnt want her 9 yr old sister taken away. But my point is, I told me friend to calm down and call her dad tomorrow and calmly ask him if she can have her cat when she gets all settled.
post #9 of 14
It sounds to me as though there is much more going on here than getting her nose pierced. I sense that there has been a lot of trouble within this family long before the piercing.

Until your friend gets a job, place to live and can provide good care - food, vet care, etc. - for the cat, then the best place for that cat to be is with her "parents". Tempers are probably still pretty hot right now so give it time to settle and for her to do what she needs to do to get on track before persuing this further is my advice.
post #10 of 14
I'm confused as to how a 17-yr-old is renting a room? I still think she's not the best home for the cat right now because she will need every cent she makes at her job to be just barely scraping by. It is unbelievable how expensive it is to live on your own. If her rent is taking less than 40% of her income, then maybe she is close to having enough money to care for a cat. Another thing to consider is: Does her landlord allow pets? Can she guarantee that she will be able to care for the cat for the next twenty years? She may be getting a job, but she just "lost" another one--was she fired?
I don't think you are overreacting necessarily. Obviously there are all kinds of things going on with this family that only they know about and understand. However, you asked about what is best for the cat. What is best for the cat is to stay where it is.
post #11 of 14
My opinion is unless you live in the house with someone, you really don't know what goes on there. If these folks are the ones who have taken care of this young woman, then she should abide by their rules until she is self supportive. Everyone else should butt out and let them settle it between them. Having had past experience because of an issue with my son, I know that well meaning people most of the time only make things worse between a teenager and the parents or guardians. Coming home with a pierced nose, or pierced anything would not have set well with me, if my son or daughter had chosen to do so. When kids get out on their own, they can do as they see fit. As long as they have a roof over their head and food furnished by someone else, then they have to consider the rules and abide by them. If this sounds harse, I don't apologize for it. I was raised to have respect for adults and I tried to raise my children the same way.
post #12 of 14
Quote:
Originally Posted by Yosemite
It sounds to me as though there is much more going on here than getting her nose pierced. I sense that there has been a lot of trouble within this family long before the piercing.

Until your friend gets a job, place to live and can provide good care - food, vet care, etc. - for the cat, then the best place for that cat to be is with her "parents". Tempers are probably still pretty hot right now so give it time to settle and for her to do what she needs to do to get on track before persuing this further is my advice.
If your friend really loves her cat, she needs to keep his best interests above hers. Perhaps after she is settled and proves that she can handle the responsibility, her "parents" will allow her to have her cat back.
post #13 of 14
She could just take out her peircing and then maybe her "parents" will let her back in.
post #14 of 14
I dont think anyone especially adoptive parents would kick a child out because of a nose piercing.
Your friend can go to the Social worker to get help.
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