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Men! Why do they do the things they do?

post #1 of 26
Thread Starter 
My husband is so frustrating! He asks me questions that he already knows the answers to. Why? This morning he asked "did you make the strawberries? what about the grapes?". He was just in the fridge - he saw them there unmade. He knows I went to bed early last night and prior to going to bed I was in alot of pain so I did nothing except play with Kevin. I totally forgot we had strawberries and grapes. If I had remembered, I still wouldn't have had time to make them. So I asked him this morning, "why didn't you make them?" - no answer. Then "why didn't you remind me last night?", still no answer. He was the one to make his lunch last night - I tend to make mine in the morning. Apparently it is my job to wash and prepare the grapes and strawberries!

Do all men do this or is it just mine?
post #2 of 26
No its not just you. Mine does that too. We moved into our place last November and we divided up the bills so he would take gas/electric I would take the rest. FOUR MONTHS LATER I get a phone call from our landlord asking about the gas bill and why she received one. He knew we weren't getting a gas bill. Never called me back when I called to ask him to CALL NOW and find out. So I just took over the gas bill. Never a "i'm sorry" or anything (but during the four month he kept saying that he keeps forgetting to call the gas company).

Sometimes its frustrating to be the responsible one in the relationship. Especially if you're like me when your ideal relationship is to be 50/50: he takes care of some things, you take care of others.
post #3 of 26
Quote:
Originally Posted by adymarie
My husband is so frustrating! He asks me questions that he already knows the answers to. Why? This morning he asked "did you make the strawberries? what about the grapes?". He was just in the fridge - he saw them there unmade. He knows I went to bed early last night and prior to going to bed I was in alot of pain so I did nothing except play with Kevin. I totally forgot we had strawberries and grapes. If I had remembered, I still wouldn't have had time to make them. So I asked him this morning, "why didn't you make them?" - no answer. Then "why didn't you remind me last night?", still no answer. He was the one to make his lunch last night - I tend to make mine in the morning. Apparently it is my job to wash and prepare the grapes and strawberries!

Do all men do this or is it just mine?
I would have told him that God made the strawberries, all he has to do is wash them. It has taken me 28 years of marriage but I finally stopped feeling guilty for not doing everything. Sometimes on a Saturday my hubby will ask what's for lunch - I tell him I'll have some of whatever he's making.

I honestly believe most men expect to be "cared" for. Their moms do it and then they expect the wives to do it. Most of the time I don't have a problem with it but if I'm not feeling well, I'm not doing it.

I found that when I do the grocery shopping, washing the fruit right away when I bring it home worked the best for me. Same with lettuce - I usually buy 2 or 3 different kinds to mix together myself so if I wash them, spin them dry and place each kind in a bag in the refrigerator they last longer (crisper) and then if someone wants a quick salad they just have to go grab some from each bag, add dressing and it's a go. If I don't wash the lettuce and have it ready to eat, it will sit in the refrigerator until it turns mushy! YUCK.
post #4 of 26
Aww don't be mean, they can't help it, it's just most of the time their brains are in the wrong place.
post #5 of 26
What mine does that absolutely drives me nuts... is he has to get three of the same answers to the same question (reworded) before he will believe me.

Example.

Him - Did we get any mail today
Me - No (now you think that would end it)
Him - Did you check it?
Me - Yes, that's how I knew we didn't get any
Him - And I didn't get anything?

AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH

Finally a few years ago, at the second question I say "already asked and answered"

He does this about everything. I always tell him "don't ask me if you aren't going to believe my first answer"
post #6 of 26
My biggest pet peeve is my fiance won't talk over the phone. Now mind you when we started dating almost 4 years ago this was not an issue as we didn't see each other that often. So where did his phone skills go??? He's a one word answerer on the phone. Then if he talks to someone else on the phone and they have a long conversation (like maybe a family member or something), he can't tell me what the conversation is about when he's done. So hows that trip going? I didn't ask.. Hows the new job? She didn't say... Ok what DID you talk about?? Not much or just stuff.

He's fine when we're at home...but heaven forbid we need to talk over the phone.
post #7 of 26
Quote:
Originally Posted by Yosemite
I would have told him that God made the strawberries, all he has to do is wash them. It has taken me 28 years of marriage but I finally stopped feeling guilty for not doing everything. Sometimes on a Saturday my hubby will ask what's for lunch - I tell him I'll have some of whatever he's making.

I honestly believe most men expect to be "cared" for. Their moms do it and then they expect the wives to do it. Most of the time I don't have a problem with it but if I'm not feeling well, I'm not doing it.
And I think as women, we spoil our husbands, then wonder why they are so spoiled. How many years have you been washing the strawberries and grapes? This is a good opportunity for him to learn to pitch in. Don't tell him to remind you to work harder than it is physically possible for you to work!!!

Take it easy, get some rest...it isn't good for you or the babies to be overly worn out. Going to bed early last night was the best thing for you to do!

Maybe he should start packing both lunches in the evening to save you some time in the morning? Really, with one baby and another on the way, he can pitch in a little more, right? (And I know he is already real helpful, that is great. But until you give birth and recover, he needs to really do his best!)
post #8 of 26
I was in the shower getting ready to go out and my dad calls me from downstairs telling me its an emergency.

Turns out, he wants me to txt his friend his email ad.

The thing is, my dad can use a phone. He can send messeges. He was just oo god dam lazy to type out his email ad so thought he had the right to call me to do it!!

How lazy is that?!
post #9 of 26
Quote:
Originally Posted by Yosemite
Sometimes on a Saturday my hubby will ask what's for lunch - I tell him I'll have some of whatever he's making.
My boyfriend jokingly said last night that I should be barefoot in the kitchen making dinner.
I responded that I need to be pregnant in order to do that!
post #10 of 26
I spoiled mine rotten early on, so I can't blame anyone but myself. He really isn't too bad about stuff, but it just usually seems to be at the wrong time that the spoiled thing kicks in. He constantly has to be reminded to do anything, but I hate to nag, so I keep quiet until I just can't stand it any more, and have a little fit. I just finally got him to tattoo me yesterday after having to remind him for months that we were to do it on a Monday because we are both off. It took him 3 years to get to it once before. He is the sweetest guy ever, but it is like pulling teeth to get im to remember anything that is not work, computer, motorcycle, or guitar related.
post #11 of 26
I admit I do spoil Jerry, but when it really counts, he will pitch in and help. He says to me the other day, "where are all my underwear?" (He's looking in his drawer) I said, Hummmm, perhaps they're all dirty........he knows better than to say much else!! LOLOLOL (they were actually clean and folded, I just forgot to bring them upstairs)
post #12 of 26
I never spoiled my ex because I knew that he would expect me to continue doing it for his whole life... my momma taught me well he also did alot of the stuff mentioned above my favorite was when I would get home at 6 and he'd been home since 4 and I walked in the door and the first words out of his mouth were "what's for dinner?" hmmm you've had 2 hours to think about it
post #13 of 26
My fiance dosen't know yet, but he's making dinner on Thursday. I found a great recipe that dosen't look to hard, pretty straight forward and looks very delicious. He has Thursday-Saturday off (I have regular hours) so it would be nice if one of those 3 days he made a meal.

He has become the Cheesecake king because its the only thing he has really ever made! He's made like 5 or 6 different cheesecakes now and is quite good at it...but says hes not good at cooking. I tell him if he can follow the recipe to make a cheesecake then he can follow a recipe to make dinner!

And who said I was good at cooking??? I'm teaching myself how to cook right now so he should too...
post #14 of 26
I hate that I have to embarass men like this but as a man I know that men can be very good at only a couple things: sports, cars, sex, technology. When it comes to speech and conversation women are infinitely better than us (usually). Why? Because men usually don't have much of a preference. We take things as they are. However, when we do have a preference, we will not rest until we hear what we want to hear.
post #15 of 26
Hmmm, not all men do this, I know I do not. I do not like sports and never watch it, but would not have the time for it anyway. I can carry on a good long conversation, as long as it isn't gossip. Now, I have to ask this. Why is it that all woman when trying on new clothes ask, does this make me look fat?? Now think about it, how in the world is THAT question answered. If us guys were to be honest and replied well, yes, we would regret it. If we answered no honey, that dress makes you look wonderful, you would know we were telling a lie and get mad That's why I love being a man. I can put on whatever I want and not care what it makes me look like, as long as I am comfortable. If it makes me look fat, that would be impossible for me, I woudn't care. I can get dressed really fast, no makeup needed, not that it would help any way. Maybe a mask
post #16 of 26
Dh isn't all that bad, but he does have a few moments. Since he's been on leave the last few weeks he's helped a lot. He's not a stellar cook yet, but I'll take fish sticks and frozen pizza if it means I don't have to cook. But he does do the 'ask the same question three times in three different ways' thing. I've stoped answering when I notice a pattern.
post #17 of 26
Why do men do the things they do, you ask?

It all has to do with chromosomes.

Women have two X chromosomes. Men have the X and Y.

So they do the things they do.

And we can only just sit back and say, "Y"?
post #18 of 26
Quote:
Originally Posted by Charmed654321
Why do men do the things they do, you ask?

It all has to do with chromosomes.

Women have two X chromosomes. Men have the X and Y.

So they do the things they do.

And we can only just sit back and say, "Y"?
That's a good explanation. I always just thought it was a combination of the testosterone clouding their judgement and the fact that there's a lack of blood flow to their brain...something else is hogging all the circulation...I won't say what
post #19 of 26
If you tried to explain what, you'd probably get a message that the post was too short.
post #20 of 26
Quote:
Originally Posted by AmberThe Bobcat
Why is it that all woman when trying on new clothes ask, does this make me look fat?? Now think about it, how in the world is THAT question answered. If us guys were to be honest and replied well, yes, we would regret it. If we answered no honey, that dress makes you look wonderful, you would know we were telling a lie and get mad
LOL! That's funny. If I ask Max that question, I expect a straight, honest answer. And I'll get one. He doesn't play that silly game. We are totally honest with each other, but try to be tactful, too!

And this thread is cracking me up - mainly because it would be Max joining in to complain about me! He does the most work around the house (although I cook) but he does more cleaning and washing than I do. WAY more....it annoys him but he loves me anyway...
post #21 of 26
You guys are so funny!
Mark is pretty terrible when he is looking for something. He'll say, where are my work trousers? All frantic like maybe the have left the flat and he's going to have nothing to wear to work, so without even saying a word, I walk to the wardrobe and pull them out. He says 'oh I totally couldn't see them!'. If he loses another item of clothing I just make him get out the way so I can find it because he will pull everything out of a drawer to find it.
He can never find anything, or he can, but he just asks me because it hasn't leapt out at him. He has a man look for things. And of course, I have a mental log of where everything we own is. It's what I spend my weekends doing, memorising everythings position
I did washing last night which is still in the machine because I slept in this morning, who thinks it's still going to be there tonight?
I shouldn't moan, he does everything else for me just none of the cleaning, washing, general domestic stuff.
If he were to post he would say 'She can't cook for toffee! so can't say a word about me!'
post #22 of 26
Hahah, i guess I just got lucky. I leave for school at 4am, until 230pm, then head to work at 330pm - 630/7pm, then go home, check my email, and PASS OUT. Im playing hookie today, cause it's 416am, and i wanted to check the forums. But anyway, I come home, and dinner is made, my 2 year old is bathed, my cats are fed, my liter boxes are clean (most of the time, he hates doing this though, so i dont fault him if it's not done), and my house looks phenominal! Guess i just got lucky. He doesn't usually need reminded about anything, and if he does, it's ok with me, because he does so much. I kinda feel bad for him though, because I know it's a lot of work to ask him to do. It'll only last another year (maybe 2, depending on the advanced training i get from which car manufacturer), so he's just holding down the fort till im done with my education.

-Jade
post #23 of 26
Quote:
Originally Posted by AshleyJade
Hahah, i guess I just got lucky. I leave for school at 4am, until 230pm, then head to work at 330pm - 630/7pm, then go home, check my email, and PASS OUT. Im playing hookie today, cause it's 416am, and i wanted to check the forums. But anyway, I come home, and dinner is made, my 2 year old is bathed, my cats are fed, my liter boxes are clean (most of the time, he hates doing this though, so i dont fault him if it's not done), and my house looks phenominal! Guess i just got lucky. He doesn't usually need reminded about anything, and if he does, it's ok with me, because he does so much. I kinda feel bad for him though, because I know it's a lot of work to ask him to do. It'll only last another year (maybe 2, depending on the advanced training i get from which car manufacturer), so he's just holding down the fort till im done with my education.

-Jade
You are lucky, but if I was working as hard as you I would expect help like that too. He knows you would do the same for him. I do so much for Mark because he is almost finished his degree and has so much work on, cleaning is the last thing on his list. However if he see's the litter tray needs changing he will undoubtedly do it, I know it will be done when I go home because I mentioned this morning it was getting a bit smelly. We both equally hate to think of them walking around in that.
post #24 of 26
Thread Starter 
I never ask if I look fat in an outfit - I already know - plus the hubby refuses to go shopping with me for clothes!

Don't get me wrong, for the most part John is amazing. He cooks and cleans it is just the stupid questions he knows the answer to already. What does he expect me to say?
post #25 of 26
Quote:
Originally Posted by Charmed654321
Why do men do the things they do, you ask?

It all has to do with chromosomes.

Women have two X chromosomes. Men have the X and Y.

So they do the things they do.

And we can only just sit back and say, "Y"?
My fiance has a different say on this matter. In genetics you find that the more X's you have (XXY, XXXY, XXXXY, etc) the more mental disability you have. So he says that men are the smarter of the 2 because they have less X's riiiiight .
post #26 of 26
Quote:
Originally Posted by KitEKats4Eva!
And this thread is cracking me up - mainly because it would be Max joining in to complain about me! He does the most work around the house (although I cook) but he does more cleaning and washing than I do. WAY more....it annoys him but he loves me anyway...
Thats one thing I looove about my fiance. He does the wash, folding, and putting away of all clothes. And frankly he's a lot better at it than me . I'm a *good enough* type person, hes a bit more meticulous than me. The way he folds...is so perfect! I can't even compare. So I let him do it!! No complaining with the way I do things if he is doing it himself. In return I keep the living room and bottom bathroom clean, and he dosen't really touch either of those.
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