Cat wrestling - how rough is *too* rough?!

We adopted Spirit a month ago. He's a small 6-month old, less than 5 lbs. Ashley is our 3 year old and before Spirit, she was our only pet (besides hermit crabs!).

They seem to have adjusted to each other well except for this wrestling they get in to. They'll sleep together once in a while if Spirit is the one to join Ashley, and they'll sniff each other and I swear Ashley has licked Spirit's little head a couple times.

As for this wrestling, they get in to it a lot. They'll chase each other around and around at top speed, then there's just a blur of fluff and fur as they wrestle madly. One doesn't attack more often than the other, from what I can tell. Both push and hit with their paws, both seem to be biting each other. There is usually no noises made, but I have heard a couple muted mews here and there. Sometimes Ashley will hiss and walk away, as if she's had enough.

I'm concerned that it's too much for little Spirit (although he usually goes back for more on his own), or that one of them will poke the other's eye out or something! How do I know if it's a true fight or if it's just play? Should I be concerned?

I don't think you sould be very concered. I have two cats aswell and they 'fight' and are always chaseing eachother around the house. My oldest cat Zobi is much bigger than my baby cat, so i do watch them carelfully but as far as i can tell, they're just playing. So don't be concered. But in those cases where you hear a meow while they are interacting, stop them and which ever cat is doing the hurthing, give them a little tap on the rear and say 'be nice', that always works for me. good luck.

My three play very hard like this and I am happy for it- they wear each other out!
I worry about their eyes being damaged, though, so I make sure to keep everyone's claws clipped.

Don't hit your cat.

It sounds like they are very good friends! When Zissou was about four months old, she was play-fighting with a 5-yr-old, 15 lb cat, and SHE started it. He knew that she was one-fifth his size, and would actually look up at us like "Shes hurting me, man, stop!" because he wouldn't even use his claws!
I wouldn't worry about it unless one starts attacking and the other doesn't react or runs away. Then you just have a big bully.

Aww, yeah, don't be worried! That's how cats play together...heaven knows our cats do it often enough, and it's really funny. Dommy, our gigantic white and tan blue eyed baby huey doesn't know his own strength, though. when he had gotten the twins, Dommy was kind of the one who raised them (the other cats said "Uh...haha! No.") and when he was trying to play with them, he'd roll and lay on top of them...it was so adorable. Kittens were alright, but they were pretty mad

Cats get pretty rough when they play with each other, but it's perfectly natural and I wouldn't worry!

Someone from the rescue group I now work with told me that as Rocky got older, he and his Mom would wrestle a lot more, and would probably tend to get into pretty rough play wrestling down the line, even to the point where Rocky might seem to be getting hurt and yelp, but she said not to be alarmed. It's normal and they kinow their limits.

Also, most cats have a very distinct sign when they have had enough and are really mad.
Zissou doesn't really know when enough is enough... but some cats just walk away and turn their back and refuse to play anymore. Others start hissing / spitting really loudly and insistently. Some start moving their mouth like theyre talking, but not making any noise.
But, almost every time the cats will work it out for themselves. Only when you have one cat that just incessantly attacks another, and it is very clearly bullying and not playing, then you need to intervene.

Thank you all for your advice. I feel a lot better now, knowing it's normal. I still think they're nuts, but hey, whatever floats their boats!