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Why did I... (whine)

post #1 of 20
Thread Starter 
Why in the world did I agree to a wedding??? Some of you should kick my butt. I said I just wanted to get married and you agreed that if thats what we wanted, we should just elope.

Is that what we're doing? NO. *whine*

I waivered on the issue based on my Mom being upset. At first I was going to do what we wanted. Than I got those guilt feelings. We do NOT have a budget for a wedding, but are doing it anyways. Now the apartment is all torn up. We had to fix a hole in the ceiling (roof leak from a bad repair job after the hurricanes). Now my poor DF is painting. I have some carpet that we are going to install. It just makes sense to do this after painting while furniture is moved anyways. The reason we are doing it at all is because Tripod decided to dig the old carpet up around the edge, so we told the landlord we would replace it.

Then all the clean-up and then cleaning, trimming and decorating the outside areas... We have to do all this before we can decorate, because the wedding is in the backyard.

I want to be married so bad. I just am not looking forward to the wedding. I feel like I can't even enjoy planning the little details because everywhere I look theres a mess.

Its less than a month away.

I am being so foolish by feeling this way. I get to marry a wonderful man who I am so in love with. He loves me and the cats. I don't know whats wrong with me. I am so depressed for no good reason.
post #2 of 20
Relax! All brides go through this a month before the wedding! Try to stop and take some time for yourself. Most of all, try to enjoy that day and take everything in.

good Luck
post #3 of 20
Oh you poor thing!!!!! Like Karen said take just a few minutes for some deep breaths and try to let everything flow around you!! You need a group hug!!!
post #4 of 20
I feel for you I really do! I want to get married soooo very badly, but the mere thought of an actual wedding sends me into panic mode, because my mom and dad DESPISE each other. They would like nothing more than to read each others obituaries! But honestly, I would do whatever the 2 of YOU want to do. After all it is YOUR wedding, if your parents get mad, let them deal with it. They'll get over it eventually, and if they are the type of people that won't (like my mom) make them pay for it and you just relax and sit back and let them handle it!!
post #5 of 20
Thread Starter 
Karen & Eva, thanks so much. I'm stressing so much I'm suprised my DF is even talking to me, but he's so stressed that he starts talking and can't shut up. I know that this is something we will look back on and laugh someday (I hope).
post #6 of 20
Depression always has a reason. It sounds like right now you're so caught up in all the repairs you're not taking care of yourself. Please make sure you're eating and sleeping correctly. Get some help from all those who said you have to have a big wedding.
post #7 of 20
Your DF sounds like he handles stress like I do!!! Chatter!! Just remember why your doing this! You love this man and that is all that matters. When things get too rough both of you need to step out together and go take a walk together or do something that reminds you why you agree to having a wedding in the first place!! Take care. Remember you can always come here and whine a little!!
post #8 of 20
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Amandaofcols
I feel for you I really do! I want to get married soooo very badly, but the mere thought of an actual wedding sends me into panic mode, because my mom and dad DESPISE each other. They would like nothing more than to read each others obituaries! But honestly, I would do whatever the 2 of YOU want to do. After all it is YOUR wedding, if your parents get mad, let them deal with it. They'll get over it eventually, and if they are the type of people that won't (like my mom) make them pay for it and you just relax and sit back and let them handle it!!
Good advice about doing what WE want. Thank you! That WAS the plan. I should have listened when AbbysMom and some other poeple said that. Unfortunately, its too late to change our minds now. The wedding is less than a month away. My Mom is coming in from out of state. She in my Dad will be in the same state for the first time in about 30 years. If you feel turbulence on April 22, its worlds colliding.
It is going to be a casual wedding without a lot of expense. My Mom already paid for one wedding.
post #9 of 20
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sweets
Depression always has a reason. It sounds like right now you're so caught up in all the repairs you're not taking care of yourself. Please make sure you're eating and sleeping correctly. Get some help from all those who said you have to have a big wedding.
You hit the nail on the head about the reason. (Why did I say nail? I am so tierd of construction) There is so much clutter in my house because of repairs, my brain is too cluttered to fit the wedding in. Actually, I should go to the gym for some stress relief.
Several people have offered to help. I am not a very good team player though.
post #10 of 20
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by snosrap5
Your DF sounds like he handles stress like I do!!! Chatter!! Just remember why your doing this! You love this man and that is all that matters. When things get too rough both of you need to step out together and go take a walk together or do something that reminds you why you agree to having a wedding in the first place!! Take care. Remember you can always come here and whine a little!!
Thank you for letting me whine! You're right about what really matters. I'm going home now to hug my honey.


THANK YOU ALL FOR LISTENING.
post #11 of 20
You poor thing. I remember the stress of wedding planning. I know it seems like a lot now, but in the long run you'll probably be glad that you did it, if for no other reason than to keep the peace with your family.

Is there any way you can recruit some help getting everything done? Maybe you can have a "yard party"...ask some friends over to help get the yard in shape for the wedding, then grill some burgers and spend some time unwinding and having some fun. Everybody loves a wedding, and there always seem to be people willing to help out.
post #12 of 20
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tari
You poor thing. I remember the stress of wedding planning. I know it seems like a lot now, but in the long run you'll probably be glad that you did it, if for no other reason than to keep the peace with your family.

Is there any way you can recruit some help getting everything done? Maybe you can have a "yard party"...ask some friends over to help get the yard in shape for the wedding, then grill some burgers and spend some time unwinding and having some fun. Everybody loves a wedding, and there always seem to be people willing to help out.
Thanks, I was kind of freaking on Friday. We got the carpet laid yesterday, so now although the apartment is still trashed, I can handle it from here and my DF can take care of the outside. We pretty much cook out every Sunday and have friends over anyway, but haven't been able to for the last few weeks because of the repairs.

THANK YOU!

I bought a few things for the wedding and feel a lot better about things now. Theres still a lot to do, but I am less overwhelmed, anyways.
post #13 of 20
What can I do to help....I just love weddings! If I could I would be a wedding planner. I was one of the few brides I know of who enjoyed that whole aspect of the planning. People at my wedding couldn't believe how organized it was and how relaxed I was about the whole. The biggest point to remember is that come the day of the wedding, relax. If something goes wrong - oh well. The important thing is your love for each other and your committment you are making with each other.

But really - can I do anything to help?
post #14 of 20
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by adymarie
What can I do to help....I just love weddings! If I could I would be a wedding planner. I was one of the few brides I know of who enjoyed that whole aspect of the planning. People at my wedding couldn't believe how organized it was and how relaxed I was about the whole. The biggest point to remember is that come the day of the wedding, relax. If something goes wrong - oh well. The important thing is your love for each other and your committment you are making with each other.

But really - can I do anything to help?
Thats such a nice offer. Thank you. We are really keeping it as simple as possible. Funny, just yesterday I said to someone, even if I screw up the wedding, I still get the same guy.

Actually, its not the whole wedding planning thing that was bothering me. It was the timing. March - apartment repairs, April - THE WEDDING - May - I go on vacation to see my Mom, Gram, brother, etc., and July - he goes on vacation to family reunion.

The only thing that was planned was my vacation. Its been a long time since I've seen everyone, my Gram is getting older, and I've never met my 2 year old nephew. I can't put this off another year. We originally didn't want or plan for a wedding. We just wanted to get married. Repairs, well- thats something that we really didn't have a choice about, and then my DH's family reunion... theres a LOT of pressure for him to be there. Its just so much at once (and so little money).
post #15 of 20
As long as you get the "I do's" in, you won't screw up the wedding. I am sure it will better then you are anticipating, just based on the love you have for each other it is bound to be special!

Expenses are a pain, especially with everything coming up at once? Can you get a temporary loan from either the bank or family, especially as family is pushing for the actual wedding?
post #16 of 20
Quote:
Originally Posted by AbbysMom
Relax! All brides go through this a month before the wedding! Try to stop and take some time for yourself. Most of all, try to enjoy that day and take everything in.

good Luck
I agree!!!
post #17 of 20
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by adymarie
As long as you get the "I do's" in, you won't screw up the wedding. I am sure it will better then you are anticipating, just based on the love you have for each other it is bound to be special!

Expenses are a pain, especially with everything coming up at once? Can you get a temporary loan from either the bank or family, especially as family is pushing for the actual wedding?
Well, we might be able to, but would really rather not unless its absolutely necessary. I did just find some wedding supplies at the Dollar Store. I LOVE to buy stuff we need so cheap.

You're right about the "I do's."
post #18 of 20
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rockcat
Why in the world did I agree to a wedding??? Some of you should kick my butt. I said I just wanted to get married and you agreed that if thats what we wanted, we should just elope.

Is that what we're doing? NO. *whine*

I waivered on the issue based on my Mom being upset. At first I was going to do what we wanted. Than I got those guilt feelings. We do NOT have a budget for a wedding, but are doing it anyways. Now the apartment is all torn up. We had to fix a hole in the ceiling (roof leak from a bad repair job after the hurricanes). Now my poor DF is painting. I have some carpet that we are going to install. It just makes sense to do this after painting while furniture is moved anyways. The reason we are doing it at all is because Tripod decided to dig the old carpet up around the edge, so we told the landlord we would replace it.

Then all the clean-up and then cleaning, trimming and decorating the outside areas... We have to do all this before we can decorate, because the wedding is in the backyard.

I want to be married so bad. I just am not looking forward to the wedding. I feel like I can't even enjoy planning the little details because everywhere I look theres a mess.

Its less than a month away.

I am being so foolish by feeling this way. I get to marry a wonderful man who I am so in love with. He loves me and the cats. I don't know whats wrong with me. I am so depressed for no good reason.
I never had a wedding and I'll regret that until the day I die. Send out an SOS to all of your friends and get them involved in the cleaning, trimming and decorating. This is normal pre-wedding stress/jitters and once your big day comes it will all fall into place and be lovely. Congrats and enjoy !!
post #19 of 20
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by kittylover4ever
I agree!!!
and you're right, Thanks!

One cool thing (Oooh, I AM starting to get excited about this!) is the kitties will be able to see us get married from the bedroom window! When Oliver was a kitten he had a bow-tie collar (see below). They really won't wear collars, but if I could find them now, I might want to put one on them at least for a picture with us.

WARNING: CUTENESS ALERT!!!

post #20 of 20
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rockcat
Well, we might be able to, but would really rather not unless its absolutely necessary. I did just find some wedding supplies at the Dollar Store. I LOVE to buy stuff we need so cheap.

You're right about the "I do's."
For my wedding, I went to the Factory card Outlet. I don't know if they have one of those in your area, but I got a whole bunch of things on clearance, and saved a bunch of money! I was crazy before my wedding, and I HAD help in planning it. (My maid of honor made my veil, all the flowers( I helped in this though) and we had our wedding in her (and the best mans) backyard, so they basically did most of my wedding, I just got the silk flowers, decorations for the reception hall, and little things like that.) It's just a bride to be thing. We all want that "perfect wedding". Yours will be fantastic! Can't wait to see
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