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Cat are NOT disposable things (long post/rant/need opinions/suggestions)....

post #1 of 16
Thread Starter 
....They are living, breathing, feeling beings and parts of our family!!!!!! And I know you all agree with me on this one.

This is kinda long but....

Some of you may remember a few topics I've posted about this already. Now this girl loves her cats, but her mother is setting a bad example for her IMO. In short - there's a 12yr old girl on another cat forum I go on who started out having 1 cat. Her mom made her pay for EVERYTHING for the cat (Angie) including vet bills, food, litter, toys, shots, etc. Now HOW can you expect a girl so young, who cannot even get a job, to pay for all that?? So since Angie (the cat) acted up just a little bit, and because this girl could not afford her cat, her mom made her let her out as a stray ON PURPOSE. Her mother pays for nothing for the cat; doesn't even try to help, and makes her let her out as a stray.

So, right after that, they get 2 more cats. I'm pretty sure they have kittens too. They just took Angie's place, right away. Like they just shrugged letting Angie out as a stray right off. One for her 8 yr old brother (he also has to pay for his cat!!!?) and another for her, who was Angie's daughter I think. Her name was Stephena. They had her for a month or so, and then her mom decides that since she is being "frisky" that they cannot keep her either. So now, they have to let her out as a stray too!!!???!!!?! Oh, and her mom said they just have too many pets anyways (they're giving up the kittens too!!!)The girl said she would look for a shelter, and she's "hoping" her mom will give her a ride if she finds one. Come on!! Like I said, she loves her cat.. But she's learning the wrong things. She says she wants to work at a shelter, but boy, that doesn't make much sense since she's trying to accept her mom's strict rules. I'm not blaming her, I'm blaming her mom..THIS IS NOT RIGHT. OH YEAH and I'm pretty sure Stephena isn't spayed. Not sure about Angie, the one that they first let out as a stray.

Here is what I posted in the topic where she said they had to give up Stephena. The other members, who do care about cats and know lots about them like lots of people on here do, didn't want to hurt anyone's feelings I guess and just said "oh, it's ok Meaghan, we don't think any less of you" and "Oh, well....". I didn't want to hurt anyone's feelings either but something had to be said. HERE'S my post:

Quote:
Originally Posted by sweetiecat3
Ok I'm really sorry & I do not mean to offend anyone.
But I guess I'll have to be the 1st one to say that this is NOT right.
I know it's not exactly your fault though.

There ARE many other options besides shelters.
But if that's all your mom will do...*sigh*...

I found some no-kill shelters for Michigan very easily. Took me 5 minutes on google. Go -here- and about halfway down the page are lots of no-kill shelters in Michigan. Please please please, I am begging you Meaghan, TRY to convince your mom to drive you to one of them, whichever is closest, and get Stephena in there safe and sound. :luck:

I'm willing to help in any way I possibly can over the internet.

Please, watch this video: Every Cat is Precious
(right-click the video & select 'play' and takes like 5 minutes to load, but be patient)
Look at what is happening. Cats like Stephena wind up in shelters and in many cases are killed, simply because they didn't have a home. Some of them didn't have a home because someone took them there because......well......I don't know why. A lot of the time there is no reason. People just dump them there. And if a cat is just left outside, un-spayed/neutered, that is how all the stray kittens/cats appear and multiply. It's a viscious cycle & it needs to be stopped.

I do not understand why this is happening. Cats are beings, living things. You cannot just throw them out. No cat is perfect. Just like nobody (person or not) is perfect. Were you born perfect, knowing right from wrong? No. Was I? No. Just because she is frisky (my cat is too, as are many, many cats) does not mean there is a big problem. If it is for some reason a big issue, you can train her.


Sorry but this is not something to take lightly just to spare somebody's feelings.
Somebody needs to speak up and tell the truth.
Was I right in being the first to speak up ?

What else do you think I can do???? Is there much else?
I just hate to see this happen. I can't believe it.

How could her mother expect her to pay for the cat
AND
let cats out as strays?

Sorry that was so extremely long, just had to rant..& I need ANY opinions/suggestions.
post #2 of 16
Patty, I think you did the right thing. I'm sure the girl is trying the best she can, but she is in a no-win situation with her mother - and the big losers are the cats that her mother just throws out with yesterday's leftovers. There's a fine line on pet welfare/educational forums that we all tread - the line between telling the truth and helping the cat/dog/animal and telling the person that they are just plain wrong. You don't want to make them run away and not learn anything, but at the same time the pets can't speak up themselves to say that it's not right. I think you handled it well. Thank you for trying...
post #3 of 16
I think your post was appropriate. It got the point across and was done in an unoffending way.

Obviously she isn't learning anything from her mom, so it was good that you let her know what the right thing would be to do.

Way to speak up!
post #4 of 16
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by valanhb
Patty, I think you did the right thing. I'm sure the girl is trying the best she can, but she is in a no-win situation with her mother - and the big losers are the cats that her mother just throws out with yesterday's leftovers. There's a fine line on pet welfare/educational forums that we all tread - the line between telling the truth and helping the cat/dog/animal and telling the person that they are just plain wrong. You don't want to make them run away and not learn anything, but at the same time the pets can't speak up themselves to say that it's not right. I think you handled it well. Thank you for trying...
Thanks...
Later, I did tell her I am not mad at her or anything, and that I am just trying to help. She hasn't responded yet. But another member on there who was trying to be nice since they felt bad spoke up too after I did, and agreed with me. I also asked her to please please please try to talk this over with her mother. I really hope this turns out ok. At the least, I'm hoping they can get her to a no-kill shelter
post #5 of 16
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by jeanor
I think your post was appropriate. It got the point across and was done in an unoffending way.

Obviously she isn't learning anything from her mom, so it was good that you let her know what the right thing would be to do.

Way to speak up!
Thank you. I just felt like a big meanie doing that! I tried to be nice as I could about it. Usually I'm very shy and wouldn't be the first to say something about it. But I just could stand to watch their cats be thrown out then replaced, one after the other!
post #6 of 16
I think you did the right thing,Patti,
I know sometimes when we say things especially in a letter,it doesn't always come across as we mean it to.sometimes it may sound harsh and sometimes it may sound like people don't care.
I think you put your point across in a very nice way,at least the girl knows now that her mothers behaviour is not normal,and you gave her other options to consider,rather than what she is told to do by her mother.

Reading between the lines of her mothers behaviour,i think she is manipulating and controlling her children by using their love for the animals to manipulate them.

Personally i would like to slap their mother round the chops unfortunately i don't think that would do any good,as i don't think the mother has got the sense she was born with.

please let us know what happens with the little kitties
post #7 of 16
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by furryferals
I think you did the right thing,Patti,
I know sometimes when we say things especially in a letter,it doesn't always come across as we mean it to.sometimes it may sound harsh and sometimes it may sound like people don't care.
I think you put your point across in a very nice way,at least the girl knows now that her mothers behaviour is not normal,and you gave her other options to consider,rather than what she is told to do by her mother.

Reading between the lines of her mothers behaviour,i think she is manipulating and controlling her children by using their love for the animals to manipulate them.

Personally i would like to slap their mother round the chops unfortunately i don't think that would do any good,as i don't think the mother has got the sense she was born with.

please let us know what happens with the little kitties
I know I feel just about the same way.
I'll keep everyone posted on what happens....
post #8 of 16
We live in Philly were there are probably more stray animals then there are people.I see people throw away animals all the time like they are disposable and if you call Animal Control they give you a run around story that basically ends up at nothing.There are so many people that I know of that will tell me that they had a cat,then the cat would do something and they would just kick it out but still feed it,alot of people think that this is ok,BUT IT'S NOT! And us as animals lovers can only help but so many strays,we can't help every stray we see.And that breaks my heart.I hate it when I see people do this to animals but there are so many people that think this ok so educating them doesn't mean anything at all.It makes me so angryyyy!
post #9 of 16
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by KittyCity81
We live in Philly were there are probably more stray animals then there are people.I see people throw away animals all the time like they are disposable and if you call Animal Control they give you a run around story that basically ends up at nothing.There are so many people that I know of that will tell me that they had a cat,then the cat would do something and they would just kick it out but still feed it,alot of people think that this is ok,BUT IT'S NOT! And us as animals lovers can only help but so many strays,we can't help every stray we see.And that breaks my heart.I hate it when I see people do this to animals but there are so many people that think this ok so educating them doesn't mean anything at all.It makes me so angryyyy!
I know what you mean! This girl I was talking about in this thread said they were going to feed Angie when they let her out as a stray, so she'll be fine. I don't think they feed her anymore, and like you said, it's not OK in the first pace anyway!!

It makes me very sad too that we can't save them all. It's so devastating. Sometimes people just won't listen, and just don't care....

I've been trying to get through to this girl, without much luck yet.
She said yesterday that she tried to talk to her mother, but she just said "no" and she didn't want to argue. And she also said she couldn't get to a shelter, since her mom has eyesight problems and.....get this .......her dad just doesn't care at all and wouldn't give a darn if the cats just out and died.
She hasn't said anything since, but I told her that she can't just give up like that. What would happen if you just respectfully & politely argued your side and explained the how they are affecting the production of feral cats and everything like that? I really hope she gives this more of a try. It's nice that she's trying to listen to her mom and she doesn't want to argue. She even said that she's only 12, so she has to listen, but if she had it HER way, her cats would be spayed, kept inside, well-cared for and loved, have their shots done and everything. This is just so sad..... I can't stand to watch this happen. I feel so helpless. I'm doing everything I possibly can to help.
post #10 of 16
I think you did the right thing, and I think you did it in a very respectful, non-confronting way.

I might have added that if she truly loves animals, as she says she does, then she would not want to put yet another cat in this situation, and if her mother was willing to try again, I would recommend she say no, as well as argue against her brother getting another. When she's older she will be able to get as many as she can take care of, but for now it is a respnsible, animal lover who would not have a cat in that situation. Perhaps her mother would be willing to let her have something like a parakeet, or something less work and visible than a cat, and wait until she's older and can take responsibility and do it the right way.

I'm glad you spoke uip.


I've bitten my tongue a few times even on this site when I've read stories of people having cats and not having the time to have them spayed or neutered, and letting them outside, then complaining about someone else, etc. Really, good for you. I forget myself sometimes that people can take care of themselves, and will get over hurt feelings. Cats can't, and need us.
post #11 of 16
Depsnding on what state this is happening in, (from what i've seen on Animal Cops) it is illegal to just toss an animal outside to fend for itself. Legal action could be taken. What a shame....
You did the right thing.
post #12 of 16
i found this poem while looking for quotes for a new siggy and it made me think of this posting. i usually try to stay out of postings like this because i get very emotional but i thought this poem was fitting of this situation. I hope the little girl gets the help that she needs.

Stray Cat

Dear God, please send me somebody who'll care.
I'm so tired of running and sick with despair.
My body is aching and filled with such pain;
And dear God I pray, as I run in the rain
That someone will love me and give me a home,
A warm cozy bed, and food of my own.
My last owner left me alone in the yard...
I watched as they moved, and God that was hard.
So I waited a while, then went on my way
To rummage in garbage and live as a stray.
But now, God, I'm so tired and hungry and cold;
And I'm so afraid that I'll never grow old.
They've chased me with sticks and hit me with straps
While I run the streets just looking for scraps.
I'm not really bad, God, please help if you can,
For I have become just a "Victim of Man."
I'm wormy, dear God, and I'm ridden with fleas;
And all that I want is an Owner to please.
If you find one for me, God, I'll try to be good.
I won't scratch the carpet; I'll do as I should.
I'll love them, play with them, and try to obey.
I will be so grateful if they'll let me stay.
I don't think I'll make it too long on my own,
'Cause I'm getting weak and I'm so all alone.
Each night as I sleep in the bushes I cry,
'Cause I'm so afraid, God, that I'm gonna die.
I've got so much love and devotion to give
That I should be given a new chance to Live.
So dear God, please hear me, please answer my prayer,
And send me somebody who will REALLY care.

Author Unknown
post #13 of 16
Thread Starter 
Thank you for posting that...
*sigh* She hasn't said much of anything since yesterday, but she has been on the forum. I don't know. There's only so much I can do. !

I think that legal action would be harsh. As far as I know, they're at least still feeding Angie & Stephena. They just can't come in the house. But it's just the same as stray cats, except at least they won't starve I guess. They're NOT spayed, pretty sure they don't have their shots (I think Angie might but not Stephena or the other cat). No baths, no cuddling up on the bed, no warm house, no love and affection, no attention.

.......

Oh and I do know that they have 3 dogs. She also volunteers at a shelter which is nice. But that doesn't make up for what's happening..
post #14 of 16
I am absolutely certain you did the right thing - diplomatic and the best way you could! How awful for her mother to do that and what kind of role model is she to her child. I shudder AT the plights of that family, inlculding the cats!
post #15 of 16
Thread Starter 
Thank you DulcieRiley. I don't agree with it either obviously.

Do you guys think it would be alright for me to just quote some of her posts from the other forum, without a link or the name of the forum or anything? Is there any rule against that??
post #16 of 16
That poem made me cry so badly, I wish I could afford to buy a house and just keep as many strays as I could find there. Between mine and my fosters I have 4 in a 1-bedroom apt right now. When I look at my guys and realize they could have been that cat in the poem, it makes me think of all the others and I cry for them all the time.

Can you suggest to her she call a local no-kill rescue group (as opposed to the shelters). If she explains the situation, one of them might be willing to come down and get the cats and get them off the streets and into foster homes.
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