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Need advice and moral support - unexpected new cat

post #1 of 22
Thread Starter 
I was just at lunch, and a well respected co-worker told me that her cat was being put to sleep today at 4:30. She is going on vacation tomorrow for 10 days - she couldn't find a shelter (obviousy boarding didn't occur to her). She defended herself and said she didn't have any other choice as it would ruin her home.

After my blood got back into my face, the first words that popped out of my mouth were "I'll take him".

I am not thrilled, 5 cats is enough - a 6th never occured to me. Husband is not thrilled (understatement) - but he understands my feelings.

I have a vet appointment tomorrow, but need to keep everyone seperated tonight.

Please - any advice or moral support is much appreciated!
post #2 of 22
Oh my gosh Tracey, what a wonderful thing your doing for that idiot coworker of yours, but most of all, what a wonderful thing you are doing for that little sweet kitty. I went through something similiar with my friend Lorraine. She has two cats and the younger one was spraying. I gave her all my suggestions; one being to get him neutered....and it fixed the problem.
What is wrong with people? When you get a pet, IMO, you get them for better or worse! I know 6 might seem overwhelming, but give it a little time and you'll wonder how your little family ever was complete without him. What color/breed is he?
post #3 of 22
You are doing the right thing. A young male will be able to get along with your other cats. I can't believe how irresposible your co-worker is. make sure she never adopts another cat, and don't give it back to her when she returns, because I guarantee you she will want it back. Tell her it ran away. Let her be tortured with guilt the rest of her life. In what way is this person well respected?
post #4 of 22
Thread Starter 
*ahem* color? well.... *ahem* black? That is the whole reason I started asking after him. I am not even sure of his name.
post #5 of 22
Originally Posted by Talon
*ahem* color? well.... *ahem* black? That is the whole reason I started asking after him. I am not even sure of his name.

LOL, how did I know!! I know it might be a bit overwhelming now, but you watch, it will be fine and like I said, you'll soon wonder how your family ever got along without the new little guy..........things happen for a reason Tracey, remember that!
post #6 of 22
Tracey bless your heart from saving this little boy from a needless death, and thank God you have an understanding husband.

How on earth has she not bonded with the poor thing already?. I bonded with my two on the first day!
post #7 of 22
It's really nice that you are taking the cat even you shouldn't of have too. It sucks that she was going to do something mean like that. But some people are just that evil.
post #8 of 22
Tracey, I have always had a lot of respect for you, being a fellow black cat lover myself!

Congratulations of the new arrival, I hope it all works out ok.
post #9 of 22
Tracey, it is wonderful that you are doing this. Another black cat for the family, huh? It was obviously meant to be. Good Luck at the vets.
post #10 of 22
I hate people with the "throw away" attitude (for dogs or cats or any animal) when the pet is inconvient. What happens if they have a baby who messes up the house; or a handicapped child? Are they gonna throw it away cause its not perfect?

Anyway, if you really don't want another cat, I'd keep it on a temporary basis (after its spayed) and see if you can adopt him/her to a new loving home - just charge the cost of spaying, etc. if you can
post #11 of 22
Tracey, I don't have any advice, but wanted to let you know I'm behind you all the way on this one. You know I share your affinity for black cats. It never ceases to amaze me how irresponsible people can be. I'm just glad there's caring people out there like you. Thanks for what you're doing for the sweet cat. Good luck at the vet and please keep us posted.
post #12 of 22
Tracey, bless you for taking him in! If he's so young, the spraying probably isn't ingrained behavior yet, and should stop within a few weeks. I would've been ready to choke your co-worker!
post #13 of 22
Originally Posted by eilcon
Tracey, I don't have any advice, but wanted to let you know I'm behind you all the way on this one. You know I share your affinity for black cats. It never ceases to amaze me how irresponsible people can be. I'm just glad there's caring people out there like you. Thanks for what you're doing for the sweet cat. Good luck at the vet and please keep us posted.
good luck with integrating him - hope it goes as well as mine has... you grow to love him, i'm sure, even if you don't end up keeping him.
post #14 of 22
sending you lots of stregth ... I would have strangled the lady ...
post #15 of 22
Thread Starter 
Boody (pronounced Beau-dy) is in my basement, lovely long haired grey and white cat, very talkative.

I am emotionaly stupid.

The cat in question was not the cat I thought it was, the youngest of her 5 cats. The 4 others she is having a 16 year old come in to watch. This cat is her oldest - 12 years old. He has issues with being left alone and she was afriad the he would tear the house up. When I expressed concern about his age and fitting into my home, I was not thinking, should not have mentioned it to her. Her being in the frantic mode she was in, said "Well can you just watch him for 10 days?" I said yes. Why I didn't tell her to go shove the 10 days, I don't know - I chalk it up to being emotionally upset and out of my league. I told my husband - woah, I thought he was upset when I told him initially, but when I told him what I agreed to.... well he won't talk to me now. Rightfully so, I am stupid. He threatens me of either lying to get the cat into the house (that she never threatened to put the cat to sleep) or I am the stupidist person in the world. Well it is the latter.

She now thinks she is getting the cat back when she comes back.

I am not sure what to think or say or feel. I am just one emotional ball.

I've had a problem in the past to standing up to authority - this person is a higher level of the HR department - the last thing I want to do is tick her off. But hell, she has ticked me off - I may have caved and not stood up for myself and the cat - but I have to now.

Sorry for the rambling, I am upset and crying and my husband refuses to talk to me.
post #16 of 22
You arent emotionally stupid or any other kind of stupid... This woman best I can tell suckered you...

Tell your husband to be a man and understand his wife.. sorry that may be too blunt but my social and emotional intellegence tests at about 16
post #17 of 22
I know how you feel angry about someone putting their cat down for no good reason...just because they don't want to deal with them anymore. My mother (not so good a person) put her last (and final) two cats down because her long-haired cat was overweight and couldn't reach everywhere to bathe itself (a problem SHE caused, I might add), and her other...she never did give a reason for. I felt bad for the two...but couldn't take them in at the time. Thank god you could!!
post #18 of 22
Here's my advice for what it's worth...

Call your local no-kill rescue groups, tell them the story, and see if they can help. They do want to keep these things from happening, and especially if you're willing to hold onto the cat for even a little while until they get it a foster home, they might be able to help you, and in a way that might not affect you at work.

case in point...When Deja Vu had her kittens, and I contacted the rescue group, I had already promised one of the kittens to my neighbor. She had never had a cat before, but wanted one badly, and after I explained what it needed, the responsibility involved, how to take care of and raise it, and the special needs it had as a kitten, she swore up and down she understood and would take care of it right and love it.

First night she had it she gave it food, water, and went out. Left that poor baby, who had just been ripped from it's Mom and 4 siblings and thrown in a strange house, completely alone to go play cards with her friends. After I told her not to leave it alone (except for important things like Drs appts,. etc) at least for a few days and she swore she understood and would not.

She called me when she got home to tell me the kitten was hiding under the bed and wouldn't come out, and could I help. I went over, and as soon as she saw me she ran up to me and into my arms, and shook and howled like I'd never heard for about 1/2 an hour until she calmed down.

I didn't know what to do. I was so tempted to just walk out with her, but like you, when you're in a situation that's difficult, and I have to live next door to this idiot, you sort of freeze sometimes and I left there making her promise if she had to go out the next day she'd leave her with me until she returned.

The next day I realized I did the wrong thing and should have taken it. I called the rescue agency, and together we came up with a solution (okay, yes, we lied, but I think the means was forgiven for the soliution).

I told her that the rescue group was coming the next day to take the kittens to get their shots, etc. and put them up for adoption, (up to this point that was true) and they offered to do the same for Rocky and the other kitten I kept (which was with her) for what it cost them, then bring them back, which would have saved us both lots of money. Since they were coming at 7am it made sense for her to leave them with me that night so they could take them both.

Once I had her back, and the group took the kittens, I apologized to the woman and told her I had made a big mistake, and since the rescue had invested some money in the kittens (shots and a vet checkup early on) I hadn't realized it wasn't mine to give, and she'd have to apply to the rescue group to adopt her. I apologized profusely and said I hadn't realized that. The woman from the rescue backed me up. When my neighbor started to apply, and found out how much it would cost her to get the kitten through the group, and all the other things involved, she decided it wasn't for her.

And nobody's feelings were hurt, no anger, and the kitten went to a fabulous home (the daughter of a vet).

Anyway, the rescue group might have a solution for you, or help you with what you can do, and at the very least, eventually put the cat in another foster home if it is hard for you guys to keep him.

Can't hurt to call. Good luck.
post #19 of 22
Tracey, first of all, relax. You are not stupid........and I think you were suckered. You tell that husband of yours that marriage is for better or worse, and if you misunderstood something, then although he may not like it, he should still stand beside you and for God sake stop the "no talking to you" crap. It will all work out...........trust me. As for being intimidated by a higher up in your company, I know how you feel. These things happen......just know that you have a heart of gold for trying to help that kitty in question, and that's not a bad, stupid thing!! Whatever kitty it is you have, I applaud you girl!!!
post #20 of 22
Most cat owners go on vacation, and if they have to leave a cat who doesn't tolerate being alone, they fear fot the cat's feelings and the cat's health! Although she is an idiot...I kind of think you should just give him back when she comes back from the vacation. Boody thinks that is his home. He obviously has issues of abandonment and a fear of being alone. There are 4 other cats in the home who are bonded to him, and he is bonded to them.

Although from a human perspective, she doesn't deserve him...it is hard for a 12 y/o cat to be rehomed. Hard to find them a home, but also hard for them to adjust to the change. I'm sure it does happen, but it would be hard for Boody.

And come up with a good answer the next time someone says something so wicked to you. Like, "Yeah, we had to do that with my first born son. We got a chance to go to Hawaii, and couldn't get a sitter, so we had him put down." Or , "We do that every year when we vacation. So much cheaper to put the pets to sleep than to pay for boarding." Then walk away. You can ask around later to see if they really mean to do it.

I have had several people offer me their cat when they found out I am affiliated with a rescue. Two of them were cats with poor behavior. One was chewing on clothing when the owner was gone, and played too rough (biting and scratching). The other would bite sometimes when being pet. I told both owners, if you, who loves this cat, doesn't want to deal with this behavior...no one else will either. The first cat has been retrained, and is behaving well now (as is its owner!). The second, who's family is allergic, remains happily in her home. In fact, she bit my daughter yesterday when we were visiting!

I think more people should be encouraged to keep their "problem" animals, rather than trying to send them away or kill them. I was fortunate to have good people to work with...but maybe this will be your chance to discuss with her the commitment made when adopting a pet. Let her know taking in Boody caused problems with your hubby, but you value his life enough that you were willing to risk it! Then give Boody back.
post #21 of 22
I dont think you were emotionally stupid, she was the stupid one, you acted out of your heart and felt that poor kittys life was in danger, honestly i don't know what i would do, kinda hard to say but i know i would also be feeling suckered, that was rude and out of line, i would give the cat back but have to speak my mind about the whole thing, poor cat is the innocent one about this whole situaiton, and that lady doesn't deserve animals.
post #22 of 22
When she comes to get her cat back, make sure you give her a bill of 15 to 20 a day. thats what most kennels charge, and I'm sure you gave the old cat better care.
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