Feeling Discouraged

As most of you know, I have a disability. It is not dyslexia even though I thought it was. I do things slowly. I've had a hard time keeping a job because I am too slow or other things that employers tell me. The only job that I had that lasted me a long time was Teltrust. It almost lasted three years until the company closed. Then, I entered school. I am going through Vocational Rehabilitation to learn office skills and they can help me find a good job. It is very discouraging to know I have a disability(I don't really know what it is. They've tested me and the counselor knows so I will ask him)and I can't really be successful in life. I don't ask to be perfect and I would love to do things fast and accurately at the same time. But I have limitations. I am having feelings of depression. How I would love to have a good job, a nice house, a car, and a husband who will understand. I would love to take charge of my life. My mother controls my money since I can't manage it myself. Sorry, I have to vent. But I see many former high school classmates with successful jobs and families and I am divorced, almost unemployed, and without a home of my own. I wish I could be normal!

Alicia,

I know how life can be quite discouraging and when there are obstacles to face it can make it seem worse. Even though you have a disability there are things out there that you can do, it may not seem like it right now but there is. It will take time to find it, but in order to do so you need to fully understand what your disability is. Find out what the exact name of it is and do some research on the internet. From the research you can learn more about the disibility and find information about what you can do to make the best life for yourself. There are so many leads that you can get from the internet for your situation, like potential employers or support groups for people with the disibility who provide each other with support and connections for job opportunities.

We are here for you too! Keep your chin up girl. It sounds like you have your mom on your side to help you and that is a great thing. I know there is something out there for you. It may not jump out right in front of you or you may not find it tomorrow or next week, but it's there and be proud of yourself for going to school to make things better for you and your kids!

Alicia, I'm so sorry you are having a difficult time. I think you are taking control of your life by taking the courses to learn skills you can use! You are a beautiful person regardless of the hurdles you have to face in life. We all know that here, and your mother and children know that too.

I agree with Sabra - research everything you can about your disability, and discuss it with future employers. They can't discriminate against you because you have a disability - that's what the ADA is all about. Research the Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA) too and find out what the laws are, and if there are any benefits or programs you may qualify for to help you get on top of your game.

We are all here for you. No worries about venting, we've all been frustrated with our station in life at one time or another.

Nena
I know how difficult it can be to have a disability because my son was diagnosed by the Mayo Clinic as having ADHD which is Attention Deficiet Hyperactivity Disorder. A lot of people don't think this is a real disorder because kids are misdiagnosed so often, but it is.

Finding out exactly what your disability is, and doing research on it will help. There might even be some support groups in your area for people with your disability, and you would be able to learn how others have coped and how they have worked to overcome problems.

Having ADHD has caused my son to have difficulties in life also, so I do understand your discouragement. But by going back to school you have taken some positive steps toward having the life you want and that's something to be proud of!!!

We are here for you whenever you need us.

Nena: Its ok. I know how you feel I have many various things wrong with me.. emotionally, or physically. They have definetly put a damper on my ability to work, let alone when I was in school and functioning in everyday life.
I'm sure you will do just fine, it takes a while to pan out your life for what suits you best.

Alicia, I can fully sympathize with what you are going through. I have an anxiety disorder and not to get into much detail but I let it consume a couples years of my life. I couldn't get out of bed because of it never mind have a job. The simple things in life such as getting dressed in the morning were big feats that were hard for me to accomplish.

You have a job right now and that's great. It may not be what you dream of yourself doing but it's a job and you do it well. Not everyone can say that. And you're in school trying to better yourself and that in itself says you are determined enough to make your dreams come true.

It's only a disability if you look at it that way. I consider my problem a quirk and everyone has them so what makes me so different? I regret all the time I wasted because I was too stubborn to get help. It sounds as though you're on the right track and you may not be going as fast as you like but you're going.

It helps too, to talk with some people who are going through the same thing. Maybe your counsler knows of a group that meets to talk and share their feelings. Who knows you might make a new friend.

I am sorry you are feeling down and out on yourself. Try to remember that you are a special person, disability or no disability. Maybe it takes you longer than others to complete something, but it makes you a unique person. You can over come your disability with a lot of hard work and perserverance. Please just try to always look at the bright side: You are alive, you are healthy, you have 2 great kids.

Also, like the others said, try to find out as much as you can about your disability and research it. You may discover a way to conquer it, or at least to make your life easier to live with it.

Good Luck.

BadHabit: I'm sorry to hear that you have/had an anxiety disorder. I have one, had it since I was 13... but didn't realize it until about a year ago. So it messed my school life up pretty bad, but its starting to get better.

I think you just have to really understand and evaluate your situation and then try and move forward.

Otherwise you just set yourself up to fail. Since I have been recently diagnosed with this certain form of epilepsy, I know that I have had to struggle with things that used to be so easy before. I suppose I could get discouraged and give up, but instead I chose to learn about this illness (for lack of a better word) and learn to work with it rather than against it. It meant i had to swallow my pride and talk to my college instructors and see if they would help me by providing me with notetakers in my classes and stuff, and it also means that my straight A days are over but I keep going forward because going backwards is not an option. My problems stem from two freak accidents I was involved in and though at times it is hard to accept my limitations, I know that I am lucky it was not worse for me. That's how I choose to look at it anyway, and I know a lot of members here who suffer with different forms of physical limitations and disease. It is not an exclusive club by any means.

I wish someone would define the word "NORMAL" for me, because I think normal is different for everyone.

Please don't put yourself down.

Everyone has things that their good at doing and things that they are bad at doing. Me, I have hard time remembering things, to take note in a meeting, I can't. I can't remember words to songs. These are not my strong points and trust there is more.

When see myself getting down I write a list of things I'm good at and things that that I'm not so good at. I don't mean big wonderful accomplishments, things like I'm really good at making the bed, I care about others, I'm usually on time, for things like this are accomplishments.

Sometimes the best accomplishments in life are the small insignificant everyday task.

I have alway said that God has a plan for me, I don't what is and it involves some really yucky times and some really happy times, and it's a good thing I don't know what the plan is because I would want to control it and I would make a mess of it.

When I make it through a day and I know that I did my best not to hurt someones feelings, that what I did that day I did the best I could and if I didn't I would try harder tomorrow, then I call that being successful.

It sounds like you have your Mother to help you and if you have family and friends (and I know you have friends because I read what a alot of them have wrote here) then you are successful.

But, I also know that sometimes I need someone to help me see things about myself (good and bad) that I can't see.

Hang in there. Know I care.

You have gotten some wonderful advice here, Nena...you ARE a very special, awesome person...and it shows in your posts, and your love for others and your cats.
Please don't get down on yourself....you have SO many good qualities!!! This world would be a much better place if there were more people like you in it!!! Chin up! We are here for you!
*HUGS*

Alicia - don't think of yourself as a person with a disabily - think of yourself as a person with abilities! You are a kind and caring person. You are a good mother. You are a wonderful pet owner. You are a person who has determination and works hard for everything you do have. I am sure that there are many good things about you that I don't know about. You have more good qualities and only 1 disability - don't let the disability become who you are.

Thanks for the replies everyone. I've been feeling down because the last three Word quizzez that I took I got bad scores. I study but I don't know how. I read the text books and notes, yet I don't comprehend them. I am not really an intelligent person. In grade school I was always put in special ed classes for reading, math, and social skills. I was treated badly in school because of my difficulties. At that time, I still had a strong spanish accent and the kids were really cruel. My self esteem is not too strong because of all my failures. My mother told me that i was conceived while my father was drunk so I think that is why I am so slow at things. And I do forget a lot. Since I was 16, I've been fired from five jobs simply because I was too slow or the people didn't really liked me. I am afraid to fail again. My confidence is really low right now. i work at a job that pays $6.50 an hour and its part time. I believe as soon as I can get a steady job that would last me almost a life time, then I will be happy. One where the employers are more understanding. BTW, do people see disablities as people who can't walk, see, hear, or talk, or can mental and developmental problems classify as disabilites. Because I ask employment counselors and they told me never to put that as my disability. Its just a difficult and discouraging time for me.

I used to work in a group home with people with disabilities - disabilities cover mental, emotional and physical.

Actually, I think you should always be upfront with a potential employer about any disability. If you don't and you get hired and they aren't happy about your performance and it's due to the disability and they don't know that, then you can lose your job. Also, if you do list the disability and you meet all the qualifications for the position and you are not hired, then you can file a grievance under the ADA Act. If you do get hired and they know about it up front, then they can have a better idea of what they need to do to ensure you perform well.

Nena
From what I read on your last post it sounds like you really have a lot of problems with your ability to concentrate. Sometimes medication can really help people with similiar disabilities function better and improve their lives. Maybe medication is an answer for you too.

Good suggestion Lorie. A job counselor isn't going to know about medical treatments for a mental disability.

Alicia, there are facilities that do testing to pinpoint the disability and then provide a treatment regiment like medication. Your doctor should be able to provide you with some information on where you can go for the testing.