TheCatSite.com › Forums › Our Feline Companions › Cat Behavior › I'm afraid he's unhappy.
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:

I'm afraid he's unhappy.

post #1 of 16
Thread Starter 
I'm wondering what I can do to help Sam not be bored/lonely.

The main thing that's bothering me is the fact that when I go to bed at night he waits outside the door til morning. Every time I turn over he scratches at the door and cries. I would let him in there with me but he would keep me up all night. Even so, I always try to leave the door open so he knows I'm still available, but usually around 4am I have to put him out.

He's got dozens of toys that I rotate every few days. (I let him have 3 at a time) Some of there are "cat activated" and generally keep him pretty busy when I'm doing other things in the house, but at night he has no interest.

I've been toying with the idea about getting another cat, but I'm not sure if that would be the right thing to do. Samuel has a very dominant personality.

Does anyone have any ideas?
post #2 of 16
Have you tried giving him some food just before bed time?, because you know yourself you feel like a nap with a full tummy.

I've never regretted the day i got Sophie as company for Rosie either
post #3 of 16
Thread Starter 
I free feed, so he's always got food available. I tried hiding a couple small treats in there so that he would have something to look forward to at bedtime, but he doesn't seem to like treats or catnip. We always have some good playtime right before bed, but when its over he looks TERRIBLY sad.. he knows I'm going to go to sleep and leave him awake all by himself, poor guy.

I would love to get another cat, but its so hard to figure out who he would get along with or if it would make things worse. In the shelter he wasn't friendly towards other cats, but I only saw him interact with males...

problem is, there's no good way to try it out and see if they get along without actually committing to adopt that animal beforehand.
post #4 of 16
here are a few shots in the dark that you may or may not consider.

you could try letting the faucet in the bathroom drip. I say this because like most cats they love dripping or running water. They like to paw at it and even drink from it. Sometimes we let the sink water run gently for a few minutes for our cat to play in. It keeps her entertained. Now I know you can't do this every night in fear a large water bill. But it may give you a couple of good nights until you figure something else out.

Also, what does he do to keep you awake? I mean, does he just crawl all over you and bug you? Could you try putting a few of his things in your room to make him calm? It seems that he likes to be near you and is afraid of being put out. But he just hasnt gotten the picture yet about why he gets put out.

You can always try those plug ins. It's like an ari freshener that you plug into an outlet but instead of a scent, it releases a calming pher....(something) that is calming to most cats and dogs. Perhaps taht will help him sleep or at least wind down.

Good luck!
post #5 of 16
Quote:
Originally Posted by puppycat

you could try letting the faucet in the bathroom drip. I say this because like most cats they love dripping or running water. They like to paw at it and even drink from it. Sometimes we let the sink water run gently for a few minutes for our cat to play in. It keeps her entertained. Now I know you can't do this every night in fear a large water bill. But it may give you a couple of good nights until you figure something else out.
That is a great idea. I had a foster cat once named Crabby and she would only drink running water from the faucet. So through the night, I would let the bathtub drip cold water into a bowl. So the faucet loving cat was happy and my other cats had a fresh bowl of clean water all the time.

Quote:
Originally Posted by puppycat
You can always try those plug ins. It's like an ari freshener that you plug into an outlet but instead of a scent, it releases a calming pher....(something) that is calming to most cats and dogs. Perhaps taht will help him sleep or at least wind down.
That would be Feliway and that works miracles sometimes. It has cat facial pheromones in it. You don't smell it but the cat does and it calms them.

I also recommend another cat to keep him company if you can work it out. I would get a younger kitten and perhaps female. Look up the cat introduction process on here for a step-by-step way to do it.
post #6 of 16
I had the same problem and another cat the same gender and age is the answer. Call a local no kill shelter/rescue organization. They will recommend one of their cats and if it doesn't work out they will take it aback and let you try another. Look up no kill shelters on the web. The ones her in Pa. are Pals, twain, delco pets. There are probably some in your area. If not, then just go for the same age/gender. It should probably work out. There are recommendations for introducing cats and maintaining dominance of the first cat, but I didn't have to do that. My guys fell in love immediately. I didn't have to keep them separated for a minute.
post #7 of 16
Thread Starter 
I think I will probably get another kitty. I spent a lot of time this afternoon weighing my options, and honestly 2 cats will not be much more trouble than one.

Sam is super dominant but not necessarily aggressive. There are soooo many cats out there looking for a home.. one of them has to be compatible with his personality! I will probably get a young female like Jen suggested. Sam is very well behaved and I know he would be a good "role model" if he chose to be one. And another homeless kitty will have a place to live!
post #8 of 16
We got a 6 month old male kitten as a playmate for our 3yr old female about 3 weeks ago. Our girl is dominant too, and can border on aggressive. We chose a kitten mainly because he'd be smaller and hopefully more willing to submit to her. So far it's working out ok. Only problems seem to be that sometimes he's too rambuncious for her and sometimes she doesn't realize that she weighs a lot more than him --> pancake kitten!
post #9 of 16
Sounds so muchlike my Leo...he didn't appear to get on well with other cats when he was crammed in that tiny cage in the shelter with a billion of cats yelling and people passing through, but he and my Lola (she was 3 months old when I got her) became just the best of friends. He still misses her, I can tell.
post #10 of 16
Thread Starter 
Actually, he was around a lot of other cats in the place where I got him. It was a Feline Sanctuary and just WONDERFUL. He lived in a rather large room with about 20 other cats. When I visited him there, he climbed into my lap right away and grumbled a bit at the other cats who came near. However he didn't swat or hiss.. he was too comfy. I can see how living with so many other cats might have been difficult for him.

I'm thinking I'll go back to that same place to see if they can recommend a companion cat for him. They know his personality, and they take the time to get to know all of the cats in their facility.

gotta say, I'm getting excited thinking about it.
post #11 of 16
Good to hear, I would definately get a younger kitten. If your cat is going to want to be boss of the house, get a younger cat. I think same or opposite sex will be fine, just depends on the cat really. But if you have seen him be agressive to other males, might want to get a female. As long as they are both fixed it shouldn't matter either way. I don't think you said how old your cat is but if he isn't neutered yet, have that done first so he is more mellow when introducing a new cat. If he is then just spay or neuter the new one asap so that there are no chances for issues between them or unwanted behaviors.
post #12 of 16
Thread Starter 
He's definitely neutered, and any cat I bring home will be as well. I've only seen him interact one on one with a female cat who was a little older than him. (she lives across the hall) He seemed more curious than mad, but wasted no time walking straight into her territory. She was scared of him (she actually threw up), but the circumstances surrounding their meeting were a bit stressful.
post #13 of 16
I know exactly how you feel. This was how I felt when we just had Sleeves. Id actually be kept awake more with the worry that he was bored rather than him jumping on me.
He used to sleep on either of our chests every night anyway and was no hassle but I was bothered about him during the day if we were out.
We just bit the bullet and risked getting a new kitten.
We picked Nismo up when she was 8 weeks old. Obviously the first few days were stressful with fighting etc and someone had to babysit almost 24/7. But as Susan said you never regret it.
Two is actually easier than 1 because you can go out for longer periods of time not worrying about your little cat being lonely.
My cats just adore each other. I know I was lucky because this doesn't always happen, but I was prepared at the beginning to take Nismo back if Sleeves did not adjust to having her around. It was his house, he owns everything, so has every right to reject someone new.
Seriously consider getting a friend for Samual. My experience has been great in getting the opposite sex, but Im sure each cat is different.
Good luck to you.
post #14 of 16
Just want to repeat my recommendation. the same age and sex will be the most compatible. Your idea to go back to where you got him is smart. They will make a good recommendation. You can help your cat establish his dominance by feeding him first, addressing him first etc. They will work out the small stuff themselves. I think he will be so grateful to have a playmate, you are not going to have a problem. Just make sure he doesn't feel threatened by the newcomer and give him first and lots of love.
post #15 of 16
well this is exciting. Be sure to introduce us to your new addition ASAP. we would love to meet him/her. I hope that helps your poor guy feel better when it's alone time at night. Keep us posted!
post #16 of 16
Thread Starter 
I definitely will!

I'm going to go to the feline sanctuary tomorrow. Yay! Now I get to start thinking of names!
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:
  Return Home
  Back to Forum: Cat Behavior
TheCatSite.com › Forums › Our Feline Companions › Cat Behavior › I'm afraid he's unhappy.