Yes I have another cat...she lives under the bureau.

My Molly dilema continues. For those of you who have followed you know I was having trouble with Molly getting along with my little tabby and also with the fact that she had "claimed" ownership of the upstairs as hers and beat everyone up that had the nerve to come up there.
Well, I went forward with my plan and moved her from upstairs to downstairs forcing some further interaction and removing her ownership. She's doing ok, but still cannot stand the tabby. Now my question I guess is how long should I give her before I make a tough decision on whether or not this is a good life for her? Here's the scenario - she now has run of the downstairs with the other cats, but remains only in the two downstairs bedrooms and the hall between them and will NOT cross the threshold into the kitchen/dining area. When she sees the tabby coming she dives under the bureau and will stay there for hours on end (and the funny thing is the tabby just wants to play now). She sleeps under the bureau when my daughter is at her dads , but will sleep with my daughter when she's here. She loves people, but will not come see me at night because the others sleep with me. I find her under the bureau fast asleep. As far as her not crossing the threshold - It's like there is an invisible barrier up. She plays with all the cats (except the tabby) as long as play occurs in the bedrooms. This morning she was running from room to room chasing and being chased by Pebbles, but then Pebbles went flying out into the kitchen and Molly just put the brakes on and stood there and looked at Pebbles. It was so sad. She really loves to play, but won't follow them into the house.
I guess I am just worried that she will never come around and that this will be a sad life for her. She loves people and loves to play, but she is just too chicken to come out into the rest of the house. Living under the bureau is no life. I pick her up and carry her to the living room and the minute I set her down she runs back to the bedroom. I've tried putting food and treats for her down in the kitchen and she just runs. She won't touch any of it. Sad thing is that my other cats have been going into the bedroom and eating her food too, but when her bowl is empty she won't come out to the kitchen to get more - she just stays hungry. That is the least of the problem too because all my litter boxes are in a big room in the cellar and if I can't get her to come out for a little food, she's not coming out and going downstairs to do her business either (so there's a litter box in my daughters room right now too )
We love her, she's a sweetheart, but we also want to do right by her. I don't want her to live a depressing, sad life where she's always scared and hiding.

Sounds like she just has a few issues. The fact that she is happy in her little space, and you are good enough to feed her and give her a litterbox there says a lot. I don't think she sounds unhappy. In multicat households I think there are often some personality issues between certain cats.

She sleeps with your daughter most nights, and plays with most of the other cats. I'd say its an improvement over living upstairs and chasing off all the other cats. Maybe just keep her with the idea that if someone comes along who wants to offer her a home as an only cat, you would let her go.

Otherwise, sounds like she has carved out a cozy place in your home. Maybe you could put a dirty t-shirt from your daughter under the dresser, so it still smells like her when the kitty is there alone.

Originally Posted by Beckiboo

Sounds like she just has a few issues. The fact that she is happy in her little space, and you are good enough to feed her and give her a litterbox there says a lot. I don't think she sounds unhappy. In multicat households I think there are often some personality issues between certain cats.

She sleeps with your daughter most nights, and plays with most of the other cats. I'd say its an improvement over living upstairs and chasing off all the other cats. Maybe just keep her with the idea that if someone comes along who wants to offer her a home as an only cat, you would let her go.

Otherwise, sounds like she has carved out a cozy place in your home. Maybe you could put a dirty t-shirt from your daughter under the dresser, so it still smells like her when the kitty is there alone.

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Thanks for the response. I wasn't sure if she could be happy under the bureau, but maybe so. I do have someone that is very interested in her, but has never had cats and that always makes me nervous (it's like a new parent).
I do have one major problem associated with this whole thing though - I don't want the litter box to remain in my daughters room. We have a separate room in the cellar for my furbabies (it's the Kitty Potty room ). I've begun moving her litter box slowly (it's now in the hall), but my fear is she will eventually say - that's too far away, and pick a spot on my carpet or something. Is there anyway to assure this doesn't happen? Or will it just be a trial and error thing? Also, I'm wondering if I should eventually remove my daughters room from her "territory" as well. When she is forced to interact she doesn't strike out or anything, she mingles well. It's just easier for her to hide, so I"m wondering if I should start to remove the bureau and get her to actually step out into the kitchen for once. Or would that not be a good thing?

Just like she eventually came downstairs, she'll eventually be comfortable with the rest of the house. Trying to convince her to come into the kitchen is probably making her more stubborn. She sounds perfectly content with her life, but just doesn't like your kitchen. What kind of floors do you have in there?
Blocking off the bureau will just make her find somewhere else that makes her feel safe. If it were depressing to her, she wouldn't like it so much.

Why do you want to remove your daughter's room from her territory?

Originally Posted by Zissou'sMom

Just like she eventually came downstairs, she'll eventually be comfortable with the rest of the house. Trying to convince her to come into the kitchen is probably making her more stubborn. She sounds perfectly content with her life, but just doesn't like your kitchen. What kind of floors do you have in there?
Blocking off the bureau will just make her find somewhere else that makes her feel safe. If it were depressing to her, she wouldn't like it so much.

Why do you want to remove your daughter's room from her territory?

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I am wondering if I should remove it for the same reason we moved her downstairs. She didn't come down on her own, we had to move her down here because she had claimed the upstairs as hers and was beating up any cat that dared to come up there. It was advice given on another post and it was a good move. Down here she has the chance to at least watch the others, whereas upstairs she couldn't. My concern now is that the same thing will begin happening down here -that she'll claim my daughters room. So far no problems ( )
Also, I don't think it's kitchen per say that she has a problem with, it's just the rest of the house in general. The kitchen just happens to be the next room. She did have a problem with the floor in the kitchen when she was first here (I was locking up the other cats at that point to give her time to explore the house on her own), but she got over that after a day. She walks on the hallway floor and that's similar to the kitchen floor. I just think she's a big chicken and that's fine I guess as long as she doesn't seem unhappy (which was my original concern).
As I said now though - my other concern is how to get the litter box out of my daughters room. I don't want that to become a permanent fixture in there (which was another reason I was considering closing off that room). My daughter is already wondering when the box will go. She doesn't mind Molly, but stepping on litter grit in the morning, or listening to the cat "tinkling" against the side of the box in the middle of the night, or the "stinky" ones isn't thrilling her to death understandably.

I think move it into the hall outside her room, and let it stay there for a while. That will probably be the big move for Molly just because it's no longer in the room. But it will adjust her to using a literbox in a more open space. Plus, the other cats are more likely to use it, so Molly will get used to sharing.

I would keep it within Molly's current range, rather than using it to extend her range. I think food would be a better incentive for extending her range to the rest of the house. I think it's a good sign that she's playing. One day she will probably cross her barrier without knowing it because she's so into playtime.

Did you know it can take 6 months for cats to get used to living with each other . I know I would never have guessed if someone had not told me. I would slowly move the litterbox out of your daughters room into the hall. Eventually, you can move it to a permanent location. If you don't already you need to make sure every cat in the house has their own box plus 1 extra. I know it sounds like a lot but cats are very territorial when it comes to litterboxes. I would give it time but eventually everyone will tolerate each other. -kd

The way I move litter boxes is by adding a new one, and letting the old one get dirty. Sounds gross, but kitties love clean litterboxes. Like you, I was concerned the kitties would keep pottying in the old litterbox spot, so I just make sure to scoop the new one more often than the old one. And when I replace litter, I use the older litter in the box I want them to quit using. In time, they get used to using the new, clean box, and quit using the old one.

I didn't let it get too foul, because it would stink me out. But the kitties get the message. If the bedroom has used litter, and the hall has nice fresh litter...she will prefer the hall. And if the bedroom has dry kibble, and the hall outside the kitchen has stinky canned food, eventually she will change.

Don't try to make her change litter and food at the same time. If the litter is the main problem, work on her moving that first. Is there a way you can keep a litterbox on the first floor, maybe in a bathroom? I kthink going into a cellar may be hard for the kitty. I have a 30 ft hallway, and don't expect my shy kitty to travel down it, especially when we have company. So I have a litterbox in a corner of the front room. We get a stinky in there sometimes, but its the price I pay for having 3 cats, one of which is terribly shy with people.

Originally Posted by Beckiboo

The way I move litter boxes is by adding a new one, and letting the old one get dirty.

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that is such a good idea!

*makes mental note*

Also, I understand it is scary to give kitties up to someone who isn't experienced. Could she take Molly for a trial run of a week?

My sister had a cat (Baby) for years that was one of 8 cats. When her owner got married to someone with many cats, they farmed the kitties out to friends when they went on their honeymoon. Baby had always been shy and didn't like strangers, etc. When she got to Amy's house, she blossomed. She ended up staying with Amy, and when her previous owner would visit Baby would hide! She just liked being an only cat!!! (Broke her original owner's heart...but isn't that like a cat?)

Maybe if the friend took Molly for a week, you would see her blossom. Be sure they agree to return her if for any reason they can't keep her.

My first foster kitty was Festus' Mom. She was adopted by a 70 y/o who had never had a pet before! They got along beautifully.

At least consider the rehoming option, while you have a caring person who is interested!

Originally Posted by bab-ush-niik

I think move it into the hall outside her room, and let it stay there for a while. That will probably be the big move for Molly just because it's no longer in the room. But it will adjust her to using a literbox in a more open space. Plus, the other cats are more likely to use it, so Molly will get used to sharing.

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I have done this already and she did use it in the hall! Great news (and it's out of my daughters room)

Originally Posted by bab-ush-niik

I would keep it within Molly's current range, rather than using it to extend her range. I think food would be a better incentive for extending her range to the rest of the house.

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Never thought of doing this. You're right, that would probably be better (and safer for my carpets ). I'll start to slowly move her food in a few days. One thing at a time (litter box was first). Maybe I'll be able to finally get her to mingle with the other cats for meal time!

Originally Posted by Liberty's Buddy

Did you know it can take 6 months for cats to get used to living with each other

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I had absolutely no idea. Makes me feel a lot better.

Originally Posted by Beckiboo

Also, I understand it is scary to give kitties up to someone who isn't experienced. Could she take Molly for a trial run of a week?

Maybe if the friend took Molly for a week, you would see her blossom. Be sure they agree to return her if for any reason they can't keep her.

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Never really thought of a trial run either. This would definitely tell us where she is happiest.

Thank you all very very much for your ideas and advice. It helps a lot to have so many people put their heads together I think what we'll do is stick it out for the next couple months and see if anything changes and she begins adjusting (obviously making sure her playful demeanor continues and no depression appears). If after that time she still is basically living under the bureau - I'll bring her to my friends house for a trial run. I know he'd agree to give it a try and we'll see what happens. I just really want to give it a shot here first cause we've already fallen in love with her.

Thanks again!! You are all very very helpful! This site is great.

She already has insecurity problems, and much as bothers you, she has worked out (for her) a way to live with it (if not perfectly), and changing her environment will only make her much more insecure. She's choosing to live that way and I would just let her do it (until such time as she decides to be braver, or the other cats no longer seem threatening).

Well - we have given it almost 4 weeks to see how Molly will change and for the most part - nothing has changed and we have pretty much tried everything. She continue to lives under the bureau where she cannot stand up. She very rarely comes out and when she does if my little tabby is around - they get into a brawl and back under the bureau she goes. (this mornings brawl took place right infront of the Feliway diffuser so - so much for that working). We've tried treats, feeding time together, just giving it time, etc. Nothing works. Then last night I discovered she had pooped next to my daughters bed which means she was too scared to even leave the room to use the litter box (which by the way is right outside my daughters door less than 5 feet from the bureau she is under).
As much as it breaks our hearts to let her go, we have come to grips that it is what's best for her. My original plan to place her with my friend will not happen now. As I said I was a little hesitant about him (not because he's a bad person - he loves Molly as well), but he just isn't a true cat person and his house is divided up by a door between first and second floor. His intent was to have Molly live on the first floor, but his bedroom and his office are on the second floor where he also watches TV, meaning she would hardly ever see him at all because he doesn't watch tv in his living room and doesn't eat in his kitchen and she is such a "people" cat. She needs constant attention from people.
Anyways - I have an e-mail in to my contact at the local shelter asking for help placing her, but I thought I would reach out here as well since I trust all of you and I know she will be in good hands since your are all crazy cat lovers like I am. I live in Western Mass and would be willing to travel a little bit to help place her. She needs to go to a home where she is an only child, or she is the first one brought in (maybe additions after her might be ok so she can establish some seniority), another slightly timid or shy cat would probably be ok too, but she can't go to a houseful. As I said too - she loooovvveesss people. The more people in my home the more apt she is to come out. Strangers and everything. So the more people in your home to snuggle her - the better.
If you know of anyone that might be interested in her in this area (that you know and trust with cats) please let me know.
If you would like more information on her - please PM me
Thanks!
Lisa

Originally Posted by lisasha3

Well - we have given it almost 4 weeks to see how Molly will change and for the most part - nothing has changed and we have pretty much tried everything. She continue to lives under the bureau where she cannot stand up. She very rarely comes out and when she does if my little tabby is around - they get into a brawl and back under the bureau she goes. (this mornings brawl took place right infront of the Feliway diffuser so - so much for that working). We've tried treats, feeding time together, just giving it time, etc. Nothing works. Then last night I discovered she had pooped next to my daughters bed which means she was too scared to even leave the room to use the litter box (which by the way is right outside my daughters door less than 5 feet from the bureau she is under).
As much as it breaks our hearts to let her go, we have come to grips that it is what's best for her. My original plan to place her with my friend will not happen now. As I said I was a little hesitant about him (not because he's a bad person - he loves Molly as well), but he just isn't a true cat person and his house is divided up by a door between first and second floor. His intent was to have Molly live on the first floor, but his bedroom and his office are on the second floor where he also watches TV, meaning she would hardly ever see him at all because he doesn't watch tv in his living room and doesn't eat in his kitchen and she is such a "people" cat. She needs constant attention from people.
Anyways - I have an e-mail in to my contact at the local shelter asking for help placing her, but I thought I would reach out here as well since I trust all of you and I know she will be in good hands since your are all crazy cat lovers like I am. I live in Western Mass and would be willing to travel a little bit to help place her. She needs to go to a home where she is an only child, or she is the first one brought in (maybe additions after her might be ok so she can establish some seniority), another slightly timid or shy cat would probably be ok too, but she can't go to a houseful. As I said too - she loooovvveesss people. The more people in my home the more apt she is to come out. Strangers and everything. So the more people in your home to snuggle her - the better.
If you know of anyone that might be interested in her in this area (that you know and trust with cats) please let me know.
If you would like more information on her - please PM me
Thanks!
Lisa

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I am sorry to hear that it did not work out. I hope that you can find a great new home for Molly where her confidence can grow. (hug)