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hate at first sight?..poll

post #1 of 14
Thread Starter 
I got Nimer and Ramona (both girls) at the same time a couple of years ago. They always got along fabulously, and Nimer was horribly sad when Ramona died unexpectedly. Now, a couple of months later, I've gotten a new cat. A boy (Boutros) about the same age. It's only been a couple of days, but all Nimer does is follow him around the house and hiss at him. No blood has been shed, just growling and hissing. My question is...do cats decide right away whether or not they are friends? Or could they work through this awkward period and end up being pals?

Any of you that have brought a second cat home, please share your experience. I'm going through this for the first time, and don't know whether things are coming along smoothly or not.
post #2 of 14
It took my two about a week to start playing together (and that seemed short to other cat owners). Parker, the older first cat, ran away from Fred but watched him constantly. She would hiss at him when he tried to play.

Now they play a lot and she even grooms him (he's just a kitten). She still rarely stays around me if he jumps up on the bed or chair.

Don't worry for a while yet.

post #3 of 14
As long as they are not physically hurting each other, things will probably get better.

I brought home a male kitten, Cosmo. My 6year old Lucy hated him at first sight. When Cosmo got bigger he started biting her & the bites get infected.

Now, they are separated at all times. I consider this the worst case scenario.

Have you tried any of the introduction procedures? Allowing them to slowly get used to one another might have better results & less stress on the cats. Good luck, it can be frustrating.

post #4 of 14
It really does take a few weeks for resident cats to get used to newcomers. The best thing to do in an ideal situation is to confine the new cat in a room away from the other cat and switch bedding between the two to get them used to each others scent. If the cats are not fond of sleeping on this bedding, you can put their food bowls on top of it and that way while they eat and are enjoying their food, the other scent is there to help them get along.

Look at the transistion this new cat has to have already been through. Now hopefully, this will be a forever home for the new cat, but she doesn't know this and is uncomfortable with all the new sounds and smells. Since I rescue, I am bringing new cats in almost all the time, or they just show up here, and I have a huge cage in the living room where the newcomer is put after being vet checked. This way the other cats can come in and spit and hiss and posture and then I just toss the soiled bedding into one corner, and give the new kitty a blanket that several of my cats sleep on daily. I also take an old shirt of mine and do a heavy workout and get it all sweaty and put it inside the cage to help the new cat adjust to my scent.

It just takes time, and patience and it won't happen overnight, but if they are not fighting, I would say you are ahead of the game at this point. One of them has to be the leader, and it is up to them to decide which of the two that is going to be.
post #5 of 14
Thread Starter 
It's been about a week, and the hissing has stopped entirely. They've been eating out of the same food bowl, and Nimer (old cat) has relaxed a little bit. Now, she's started chasing Boutros (new cat) around and tackling him. No blood, no screeching, just out and out wrestling. It's a game, right? Boutros is much larger and stronger than Nimer, so she couldn't possibly be starting a real fight...could she?
post #6 of 14
Good news!!!

What you described is exactly how my two cats play. They have been together since they were both kittens. The only time I (or Hubby) get involved is when Ophelia (about 1/2 the size of Trent) starts hissing and growling telling Trent that she is done playing, leave her alone. He's a guy so he usually doesn't take the hint from her until we tell him to stop. LOL

From what everyone else has said, you will know if it is a fight. Very vicious and scary!
post #7 of 14
I am green, if only my cats could get along.

post #8 of 14
You have the same question I came here to ask. I'm glad to see I'm not the only one.
I have an old cat {patches} and I brought home a couple kittens {cocoa and painintheass, pronounced pin nith theas} Patch is acting like I all but booted her butt out the door.

post #9 of 14
I'm glad I came here to read how others handle new arrivals with resident cats around. I've only had my resident cat's brother for a day and there was no fighting, but just hissing from Inkie's brother who is still a bit stressed. I've separated him and have let him out to explore the rest of the house at small intervals, and give Inkie a chance to smell and see his brother once in a while, and give them a chance to interact. I put Molson (Inkie's brother) in our computer room for the night, and gave them a chance to interact this morning, and will continue to do the same at small intervals until they're comfortable, and I'm comfortable, leaving them together. My main issue is that when we got Inkie, he was declawed and Molson wasn't. I'm just afraid Molson will hurt my poor Inkie!

This is my first time owning cats...how do I know what's normal in their interaction and what to really worry about?
post #10 of 14
Thanks for the advice. I just want to make sure, just like the others who have asked before me, that I'm doing the right thing. I don't want to keep Molson separated in another room because I think it's completely unfair, and I'm hoping the fact that they were litter mates help in their associating together. And yes, both the kitties have been neutered, and I won't get Molson declawed. I got them from a vet college and that's why Inkie was declawed...random selection I guess.
post #11 of 14
Inkie - I just moved my reply to your thread to make sure you saw it, but I guess you did.
post #12 of 14
I introduced my 3 year old mog to a stray that had never been indoors before about 10 months ago. Jasmine (3 yr old) has lived on her own (ie without other kitties) all her life and was extraudinarily nasty to other cats. We took Jasper in as a stray because he was so 'needy' and loving and it took months for them to get along. They do still fight occasionsally (usually when I've told a friend how well they are getting on....and they do the full-on wrestle in front of them!!!!!)

I am amazed actually how two completely different personalities and backgrounds now tolerate each oter. I actually thinkt hat Jasmine has a soft spot for him....but like any other woman...doesn't want to let her guard down!!!!

Kepp persevering:icecream:
post #13 of 14
I just brought home a new 7-week-old male kitten. My 1-year-old male cat hates him, is terrified of him and don't want anything to do with me. He will follow the kitten around the house watching everything he down but always staying a few feet away. But everytime the kitten comes near him, he growls. I gave him tuna fish to the older cat as a treat, but the kitten ran up to the bowl while he was eating and my cat wouldn't touch it after that. He won't play and growls everytime I hold him, even if the kitten is not around. He used to sleep with me every night, pawing my hair, sucking his paws and purr. But now he won't go near me. I even locked the kitten in a different room, took a shower to get the kitten smell off, and then tried to lay down next to him. He growled at me, then got up and walked away. Will he get over this? How can I make it easier for him. I got the new kitten so he would have a friend.
post #14 of 14
It is not that your older kitten hates the newcomer, it is that in introducing another kitty, you have threatened your older cat's postition of authority as Alpha. When you feed, feed them seperately, put the one year olds food down first, hold the second kitty if you have to, but allow the older one to eat first for a few minutes, then feed the new kitty in another bowl farther away.

Do interactive playtime with your older cat, at least 20 minutes a day so he feels she still has the upper hand in the household. Once the kitten grows, he may very well decide to challange for the alpha position but until he is grown that won't happen. Your older cat is not mad at you or anyone else, he is just confused with the sudden changes. Normally, you should keep all new kitties seperated from the resident cats for at least a week or two, even sometimes three, and then switch bedding between the cats so they get used to each others smells. Good luck
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