Friday Joke!!

phenomsmom

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I thought This was too funny!! LOL
(Please noone be offended!)


Two South Texas farmers, Jim and Bob, are sitting at their favorite bar, drinking beer. Jim turns to Bob and says, "You know, I'm tired of going through life without an education. Tomorrow I think I'll go to the community college and sign up for some classes."

Bob thinks it's a good idea, and the two leave.

The next day, Jim goes down to the college and meets the dean of admissions, who signs him up for the four basic classes: math, English, history, and logic.

"Logic?" Jim says. "What's that?"

The dean says, "I'll show you. Do you own a weed eater?"

"Yeah."

"Then logically because you own a weed eater, I think that you would have a yard."

"That's true, I do have a yard."

"I'm not done," the dean says. Because you have a yard, I think logically that you would have a house."

"Yes, I do have a house."

"And because you have a house, I think that you might logically have a family."

"I have a family."

"I'm not done yet. Because you have a family, then logically you must have a wife."

"Yes, I do have a wife."

"And because you have a wife, then logically you must be a heterosexual."

"I am a heterosexual. That's amazing, you were able to find out all of that because I have a weed eater."

Excited to take the class now, Jim shakes the dean's hand and leaves to go meet Bob at the bar. He tells Bob about his classes, how he is signed up for math, English, history, and logic.

"Logic?" Bob says, "What's that?"

Jim says, "I'll show you. Do you have a weed eater?"

"No."

"Then you're a queer."
 
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phenomsmom

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Here's another!
Actual Newspaper Ads

FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER. 8 years old. Hateful little b****. Bites.
FREE PUPPIES: ½ Cocker Spaniel, ½ sneaky neighbor's dog.
FREE PUPPIES... Part German Shepherd, part stupid dog.
FREE GERMAN SHEPHERD 85 lbs. Neutered. Speaks German.
FOUND DIRTY WHITE DOG. Looks like a rat ... been out a while.
Better
be
a
reward for this nasty little thing.

COWS, CALVES: NEVER BRED... Also 1 gay bull for sale.

NORDIC TRACK $300. Hardly used, call Chubby.

GEORGIA PEACHES, California grown - 89 cents lb.

JOINING NUDIST COLONY! Must sell washer and dryer $300.

WEDDING DRESS FOR SALE. WORN ONCE -
BY MISTAKE. Call Stephanie.

(AND THE BEST ONE):

FOR SALE BY OWNER: Complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica. 45
volumes.
Excellent condition. $1,000 or best offer. No longer needed, got
married
last month. Wife knows everything
 
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