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Why do women do it??

post #1 of 16
Thread Starter 
Ok, since I"m up late (again), I was thinking about something that I just did that I've heard a lot of women do and I don't know why.
About a month ago, I ended a long relationship with a guy I was seeing and since then I have - Joined a gym, gone on a diet, cut 6" off my hair, layered it and highlighted it, had my nails professionally done, and had my eyebrows done. None of this I was very much into before (when we were dating), but suddenly I feel the urge to change all these things. Why? I'm just curious because I've heard so many women do things like this after a breakup. Why do we do it? For me, I think, it felt almost like taking a shower after being out in the woods for days - I just feel sooooooo much better with every thing I do. But - why do I only feel better now? Would I have felt the same way had I done all these things when I was still with him? Why didn't I feel the need to do these things till he was gone?
And lastly - what do men do????? Do they do anything?
(as I said - up late again + can't sleep = too much time to think )
post #2 of 16
I think its a way of shedding the baggage. Changing yourself in small ways makes you feel better about yourself. I dont think there is anything wrong with it.
post #3 of 16
I've been drinking so I better not answer this tonight...lol......tomorrow I might have some proper insight for you.
post #4 of 16
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by menagerie mama
I've been drinking so I better not answer this tonight...lol......tomorrow I might have some proper insight for you.
Ummm......Me Too! which is why I probably "pondered" it in the first place...
post #5 of 16
LOL, I'm mad at the man world (no offense men on this site, just the ones I've dated suck) and I cannot give proper advice at this time, lol....
post #6 of 16
No offense taken Shannon. It sounds like you're doing healthy things Lisa, so I wouldn't think too much about it. Sometimes I've improved things after ending a relationship, sometimes I haven't. Changing things never felt wrong though.
post #7 of 16
I've noticed that as well. It took a few heartbreaks before I realized I always got my hair cut afterwards. The bigger the pain, the shorter the hair. Fortunately I recognized the pattern before I shaved my head!

All the things you're doing sound pretty healthy. I think it's a self-pampering thing to help yourself feel better. It sure beats wallowing in self pity!

How do you like your new hair?
post #8 of 16
As long as it makes you feel good/better about yourself, then I don't see any harm in it. Believe me, I know women who have had much worse responses to break ups!
post #9 of 16
your in a healthy evolutionary cycle of human life and interaction...
post #10 of 16
I always do this too. I think it's because I want them to look at me, after they've lost me and go WOW and see what they are missing out on. Especially if it was them that dumped me and I'm sad.
I think looking good just boosts self esteem, it also takes your mind off what has happened if you concentrate on changing your looks.
I usually go for a massage when I'm nursing a broken heart.
post #11 of 16
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pombina
I always do this too. I think it's because I want them to look at me, after they've lost me and go WOW and see what they are missing out on. Especially if it was them that dumped me and I'm sad.
I think looking good just boosts self esteem, it also takes your mind off what has happened if you concentrate on changing your looks.
I usually go for a massage when I'm nursing a broken heart.
I think you're on to something here..... That could be it. Massage I never thought of though and have never ever had. My muscles are screaming they need it so bad...
Quote:
Originally Posted by clixpix
How do you like your new hair?
I love it but it's taking some getting use to. My hair has natural curls (not a lot, but enough to give it some bounce) and they straightened it before I left the salon so it looks really different. I have two teens (actually a teen and pre-teen), but they say the style is straight now and they loved it! Guess I can be a "cool" mom now.
post #12 of 16
Quote:
Originally Posted by lisasha3
I think you're on to something here..... That could be it. Massage I never thought of though and have never ever had. My muscles are screaming they need it so bad...
Oh without a doubt! Go for it! Depending on the treatment you get you'll probably end up crying for no reason. I usually do when I get Cranio Sakral (spelling) treatment, it just brings out so many emotions but I feel fantastic afterwards.
We are having a Health Fayre at work today and I have just been for a 15 minute Tui Na (twee ni) massage and I feel amazing now. I've got his card and I will definately been seeing him again! I've never heard of this type of massage before but he applied quite a lot of pressure - which I like. Mmmmmm
post #13 of 16
I have done it, too.

It's like you've made a big change in your life, you feel fresh and new in that regard, so you want to make yourself over to feel fresh and new, too. To face your new life with a clean slate and a boost to your confidence!

I think it's probably natural and normal, and it also makes you feel on top of the world!
post #14 of 16
I did that too... changed the hair, changed the clothes, broke the ex's stuff that he left.... It's very therapeutic, I think - kind of a pick-me-up after a really bad spell. Like chocolate or coffee... only slightly more expensive!!
post #15 of 16
I think it also depends on the type of relationship you're in too.

If you really dig someone and the relationship is great, then you're more apt to take care of yourself.
If you're in a bad relationship, you'll feel negative and will not keep yourself up to date

Another thought is that often times we think that when we started dating someone that they were attracted to us because of how we look. So we tend to change that very little...until we're out of the relationship and ready for someone new (unconsciously thinking that a new look will bring on a new man. There isn't any doubt in my mind that women are taught, even just a little that men will be attracted to us based on our looks. It's the American way!). That's when we change ourself.
It's all a part of the healing process and moving on!
post #16 of 16
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by LilleKat
.... broke the ex's stuff that he left.... It's very therapeutic, ......
I had to laugh at this one cause when I got divorced years ago I took all my old wedding memorabilia and I had a big bonfire in an outdoor fireplace . I burned everything - wedding invitations, wedding napkins, tablemarkers, some pictures (not all - I'm not that cruel) and then I went and sold all our china on ebay. Funny thing is that my X and I get along great - at the time though it was a way of healing in a "Pyro" kinda way.

Watch out men!!! We women are a little NUTS!!
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