Have you ever met someone sooo dumb....

karmasmom

TCS Member
Thread starter
Super Cat
Joined
Dec 9, 2005
Messages
1,008
Purraise
2
Location
California
it hurt your brain? We have a neighbor who is really sweet. She has a kind heart and would never even hurt a fly. The problem is though that she is basicly like having a manaquin in the house when she comes over. We feel sorry for her bacause she is new to SD and her boyfriend is a navy man and is out to sea often s she spend alot of time alone. We try to be really nice to her, we have her down for dinner evry night he is gon and take her to the store and to run errons(she does not know how to drive). She's 21 but at time we think shes 2. Like a few night ago my period started early and I told my husband, he looked at me and said thats odd because you normally know when you are ovulating. Well she looked right at me and said whats ovulating? Does it seem odd she wouldn't know at 21? She has tod me she wants to lern how to cook soI try to show her things in the kitchen and she looks at me the way a dog looks when watching a card trick. She actually asked me how to make tea, not fancy tea but regular old hot tea. I really do like her, she's great with Karma and is sweet but shes just dumb. I hate it because it hurts my brain to deal with. Most of the time she is here she just sits and stares off into space. She never asks us any questions and when we try to engage her in conversation she gives nothing back. Its like talking to a brick wall. It just blows my mind. Let's put it this way, she makes Kelly Bundy look like a genius.
Is it wrong to feel this way about someone. I know Im not perfect and really am more of a cat person than a people person. Its just so frustrating it makes me want to scream.
 

emma79

TCS Member
Adult Cat
Joined
Mar 8, 2006
Messages
191
Purraise
1
Location
Melbourne, Australia
Maybe she hasn't been exposed to needing to do things for herself. She is only fairly young still, and if she's had her mum for example do everything for her, her whole life.....it'd make sense. I can definately understand the frustration though. I find it really hard to deal with people who cant make conversation too. She sounds like she'd be ok in small doses lol. Good on you for being a great person and trying though!
 

zoe'n'misskitty

TCS Member
Super Cat
Joined
Dec 11, 2004
Messages
1,142
Purraise
1
Location
WV
Bless her heart....
Sounds like she's probably led a very sheltered life, and shy on top of it. Maybe you can draw her out of her shell a little bit.


But yeah, people like that can be REALLY frustrating. lol So you have my sympathies.
 

MoochNNoodles

TCS Member
Veteran
Joined
Apr 30, 2005
Messages
36,646
Purraise
23,468
Location
Where my cats are
I can understand your thinking. I sometimes work with people who have pretty sever disabilities and things, but most of them are a bit better off than that I think....at least when it comes to some things. I think she just needs some patience. She might be depressed or who knows what. Give her more time, maybe things will change for her.
 
  • Thread Starter Thread Starter
  • #6

karmasmom

TCS Member
Thread starter
Super Cat
Joined
Dec 9, 2005
Messages
1,008
Purraise
2
Location
California
She has told us her dad did shelter her, she doesn't seem shy though, she came to us and introduced herself. We try to be very patient, we try to constantly inforn her about the world. She is in school and we try to find out about her classes and get nothing. One calss is anthrpology, which is one of my favorite things to learn about. All she has been able to tell me is they are studying early hminids. I try and try, I try to dicuss the different eras, nothing. It's just plan weird to me. Sheltered I understand but she is not living there any more. Its like she wants to stay that way. Which I don't get. The world is a big amazing place.
 

emma79

TCS Member
Adult Cat
Joined
Mar 8, 2006
Messages
191
Purraise
1
Location
Melbourne, Australia
Does she maybe not have much in the way of people skills? I can't understand why she wouldn't join in a convo, especially about something she is interested in!
 
  • Thread Starter Thread Starter
  • #8

karmasmom

TCS Member
Thread starter
Super Cat
Joined
Dec 9, 2005
Messages
1,008
Purraise
2
Location
California
It's hard to say, she doesn't give us anything, If she has people skills we havn't seen them. We have tried every topic in the world, still nothing.
 

muttigreemom

TCS Member
Top Cat
Joined
Sep 8, 2005
Messages
1,239
Purraise
1
Location
Florida
Originally Posted by Emma79

She is only fairly young still
You're nicer about this than I am. IMO, at 21, you should know how to make tea. I can't see that as being fairly young, in the sense that at 21 you should have a basic comprehension of every day events.

At 22, I owned my first corporation. At 21, one of my closest friends was running an IT department for a hedge fund. At 21, another of my friends was running the marketing department for a dotcom. We may have been young, but young didn't mean incompetent

Granted, fairly young is a subjective term and perhaps my friends and I aren't the norm, but IMO, it's a sad state of affairs when at 21 you can barely function without help.

I'm actually very tolerant of people and I have a sister who is legitimately mentally disabled who I will be supporting one day... and even she could make tea at 21 and knew what ovulating was. I'm very understanding about all of that. But, from your description, if I had to deal with this girl on a regular basis, I'd probably have a brain aneurysm.
 

emma79

TCS Member
Adult Cat
Joined
Mar 8, 2006
Messages
191
Purraise
1
Location
Melbourne, Australia
Yeah, I agree. But some people at 21 are mature and some aren't. For all we know this girl might have some mild disability. I don't know her, so I'll give her the benefit of the doubt I think. Good luck with your dealings.
 

sharky

TCS Member
Veteran
Joined
Jan 30, 2005
Messages
27,231
Purraise
38
Originally Posted by Emma79

Yeah, I agree. But some people at 21 are mature and some aren't. For all we know this girl might have some mild disability. I don't know her, so I'll give her the benefit of the doubt I think. Good luck with your dealings.



that girl sounds like me ( okay so it would have been me at 16 vs 21 ) she either has been very sheltered or like me has some "mental issues" ...

True story I could make a two or three course meal at 15 but I had to ask how to0 make a hamburger....
 

eburgess

TCS Member
Top Cat
Joined
Dec 7, 2004
Messages
2,472
Purraise
11
Location
\
Yes!!! I met a girl in one of my COLLEGE class who had no clue where West Virginia is... She's from Pittsburgh!!!! She also was not able to label the fifty states. (She did get Pennsylvania right.. thank god!!!!) She believed everything anyone told her for example.. this one guy first told her that he was from Canada, that Canada was in Delaware, and that he is in fact a woman. Because all women can grow a full beard!!!

All I can say is thank god she's a Music Ed major, I would hate to see the students coming out of her class.
 

clixpix

TCS Member
Veteran
Joined
Dec 9, 2004
Messages
14,540
Purraise
2
She may not have good people skills, or is not a talker. Some people are just wired differently. Maybe she has a form of social anxiety, or feels inferior. Who knows? Maybe she senses you think she's "dumb", poor girl. She's probably naive about some things in this world, but that does not equal stupidity.

If she irritates you that much, don't hang out with her. Hopefully she will go on to meet others who are more in synch with her personality.
 

lisasha3

TCS Member
Top Cat
Joined
Dec 1, 2005
Messages
1,825
Purraise
2
Location
Home of the black squirrel
It's so nice of you to try to entertain her and help keep her mind off of her Boyfriend. I know it takes a lot of patience, but you're doing a great thing. I can definitely relate. I'm not sure if this girl you're dealing with has a handicap, but in my case it wasn't - it was just pure "oh my god help me I'm talking to a stump". She was young as well (not sure of exact age), but my god! I felt like sayin - darlin - read a book or a newspaper.

I can sooooooo relate!!!
Just try to be patient. Also, try this out - I use to try to think of it as if I was talking to someone who just kind of time warped into our era from the past and just didn't know anything about our time. It helped put a spin on things and I felt like I was the "ALL KNOWING GIRL" when she asked a question. It puts you more into a teaching mode for adults! (I know it sounds strange - but worked for me!)
 

semiferal

TCS Member
Top Cat
Joined
Jul 15, 2005
Messages
1,890
Purraise
9
Location
in my apartment
Totally.

I've interacted with many people who have bona fide intellectual disabilities who are smarter than lots of people with normal IQ's. Intelligent doesn't mean smart and retarded doesn't mean stupid, I've found. They're pretty different things.
 

sharky

TCS Member
Veteran
Joined
Jan 30, 2005
Messages
27,231
Purraise
38
Originally Posted by semiferal

Totally.

I've interacted with many people who have bona fide intellectual disabilities who are smarter than lots of people with normal IQ's. Intelligent doesn't mean smart and retarded doesn't mean stupid, I've found. They're pretty different things.
beautifully written

if I remember retarded as defined by webster means slow... it dont mean dumb
 

fwan

TCS Member
Top Cat
Joined
Dec 5, 2004
Messages
13,279
Purraise
2
Location
Australia
wel i knew how to make tea from the age of 7 so thats kinda weird that at 21 she doesnt know how to make it, and its not about sheltering, this girl sounds like she has some nerve ripped out of her brain.
You said she is married, well why dont you talk to the husband when he is back?
This girl sounds like she has some sort of Disorder.

Maybe she has lame sarcasm like i do
sometimes i ask things i know but it doesnt come out in the sarcastic tone????

Just a thought..
 

lillekat

TCS Member
Top Cat
Joined
Sep 30, 2003
Messages
4,587
Purraise
11
Location
Under the cats, mostly.
I don't want to comment too much on this particular thread because I firmly believe that though a lot of people may appear stupid, they actually are more intelligent than ourselves in different ways... but I've a feeling I'm going to anyway... so if anyone gets offended, I apologise right now! I never mean anything malicious, but sometimes I do just tell it like it is. Yes, I have met people who really ARE stupid! Plenty of them. I think the most dense of them was the girl who asked me why she could never keep her weight down while she was working out so often in the week - while she had four candybars in her hand and one in her mouth... makes you think sometimes, doesn't it?

I agree whole-heartedly with a previous post about how being "retarded" (I hate the use of that term, by the way) doesn't neccessarily mean "stupid". The Downs Syndrome kids my mother used to work with were all socially inept - but intellecually some were very very smart in one way or another. One was fantastic with math, and yet he couldn't string together a coherant sentence. One was similar, only instead of math, his memory was second to none....

I hate to point this out though, because it's something that came to my attention as I first read your post. Your typed English is dire - I don't mean to offend, because I know I can be guilty of the same thing - but that doesn't neccessarily make you stupid, even though that's the way it appears on screen. Perhaps English isn't your first language... but I don't know. If it isn't, then even though it looks bad on screen, you have a second language - and as far as I'm concerned, to be able to hold more than one language in your head at any given time is pretty darn smart. I can tell that you're a very smart person, also with a heart of gold - and God bless you for taking her "under your wing" and giving her a little social connection in a totally unfamiliar place... just don't judge your neighbour too harshly.
"Love thy neighbour" and "Judge not, lest ye be judged" and all that jazz


God bless
 

lisasha3

TCS Member
Top Cat
Joined
Dec 1, 2005
Messages
1,825
Purraise
2
Location
Home of the black squirrel
Quick story, not on the stupid thing, but on the "stupid people in upper management" (As said by a previous poster - I MEAN NO OFFENSE TO ANYONE - I just thought this was funny and got a kick out of it)-
I'm an electrical engineer for a company that deals mainly with aircraft and I'm in a meeting the other day with the program manager for our most recent program - the presidents helicopter (pretty cool!) Anyways.....not everyone knows this, but a person in this girls position should - keep in mind that this is an "electrical engineering program manager"!
We were discussing some testing that's done and she said (and I quote) - "we need to complete testing on all 3 axis. There's the X axis, the Y axis and another one that I don't know about"
. So somone pipes up and says "the Z axis?" and she says "Oh, is that what they're calling it?". Now as I said - I don't expect everyone to know this (it all depends on your job and what you do for a living and what you are good at), but for an electrical engineer - this is like not knowing how to spell cat.

Which brings me to another thing - the whole spelling, english and typing thing - there are tooonnnnssss of US here (and I say US - myself included) that misspell alot. I think it's mainly cause we either speak another language (as said) or we are just typing fast (With me I type sooooooo fast that I need to cut and paste my postings into a word document to make sure they are spelled right - a little overkill on my part?
Yeah probably.
)
Moderators - we NEED spell check.
 
Top