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It's nothing but a conspiracy!

post #1 of 7
Thread Starter 
Have you ever noticed that when you're of a certain age, everything seems uphill from where you are? Stairs are steeper. Groceries are heavier. And, everything is farther away. Yesterday I walked to the corner and I was dumbfounded to discover how long our street had become!

And, you know, people are less considerate now, especially the young ones. They speak in whispers all the time! If
you ask them to speak up they just keep repeating themselves, endlessly mouthing the same silent message until they're red in the face! What do they think I am, a lip reader?

I also think they are much younger than I was at the same age. On the other hand, people my own age are so much older than I am. I ran into an old friend the other day and she has aged so much that she didn't even recognize me.

I got to thinking about the poor dear while I was combing my hair this morning, and in doing so, I glanced at my
own refection........Well, REALLY NOW ......... even mirrors are not made the way they used to be!

Another thing, everyone drives so fast today! You're risking life and limb if you just happen to pull onto the freeway in front of them. All I can say is, their brakes must wear out awfully fast, the way I see them screech and swerve in
my rear view mirror.

Clothing manufacturers are less civilized these days. Why else would they suddenly start labeling a size 10 or 12
dress as 18 or 20? Do they think no one notices that these things no longer fit around the waist, hips, thighs, and

The people who make bathroom scales are pulling the same prank, but in reverse. Do they think I actually
"believe" the number I see on that dial? HA! I would never let myself weigh that much! Just who do these people think
they're fooling?

I'd like to call up someone in authority to report what's going on -but the telephone company is in on the conspiracy too:
they've printed the phone books in such small type that no one could ever find a number in here!

All I can do is pass along this warning:
Maturity is under attack! Unless something drastic happens, pretty soon "everyone" will have to suffer these awful indignities.
post #2 of 7
My problem is that the floor is getting farther away. It isn't as easy bending over and picking things up, now.
post #3 of 7
You're both right, of course. But did you notice that the new doctors are teenagers? They seem to know what they're doing, and they're really cute, but they must be geniuses to get a doctorate that young!
post #4 of 7
That was great, Hissy!!! I really enjoyed reading it!!!
post #5 of 7
This so funny, I was just thinking about this. The other day I was holding my cat, Sadie, and looked down at her and she was blurry, I had heard people at work talk about when you get over 40 things start getting blurry when you look at it close up. Yes, someone keeps moving the mailbox further and further away. I would try to catch this person, but I can't stay awake. "Getting old ain't for WIMPS."
post #6 of 7
The scary thing for me is that I am older than some of my students' parents, and I'm only in my mid 30s. I teach at a middle school. Any one of those kids could be mine. And some of them were born in the 90s.
I am also starting to get up early on my own. I can't even go out on Fridays anymore because I am too tired. Who is changing the clocks?
post #7 of 7
When I went to Georgia to visit my daughter, I got pulled over for speeding by a boy I babysat for when I was in high school. He's still such a sweet kid. He let me go. I felt ANCIENT!
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