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It has begun...But ended too. - Page 2

post #31 of 40
I'm so sorry to hear the news. It is for the best, although you're probably gonna have to pound that sentence into your brain a few hundred times during the seperation. I wish you the best..
post #32 of 40
Thread Starter 
Gosh, you guys are like counselors in a thread...I wanted to say box, but it didnt fit well.

Today is different. Im still here because he came home from work early, because he was upset, and I had planned on moving more things, but he put the cabosh on that. So, he's sleeping now, so I am going to secretly move some more things from the kitchen. I just want this over with. I want out of here. I am so much more happier when he's not here.

I feel terrible about how he feels. But there's really nothing I can tell him to make it any better. He tried to make me talk last night about it, and I explained to him again, that I have nothing else to say, and he kept bugging me about it, and I broke and told him I wasnt attracted to him anymore.

It's what he didnt want to hear, but it's also what he was pushing me to say. So he got it. And he cried again. This really really sucks. But honestly, ONLY when he's around. When he's gone, I crank the music, dance with my kid, and I pack. It's all great...but only when he's not here. When he's here, it's all like sad, and depressing, and he's always wanting to talk about it.

I just have nothing else to talk about to him. I told him what I needed to say when I told him I was done. And he still wants more...He wants explanations, and theorys, and why why why, and please stay, and what's gonna happen to this, and that...

All this time I've tried to talk to him for 4 years, I wanted explanations, and all of the above, but I never got it. I got a "hold on" I have to press "SAVE" if you want to talk. So today is a useless day, I've got nothing done, and I have to work in an hour. Anybody got a U-haul, and some hotties to lift all my stuff for me? lol...just tryin to keep a smile goin.

Once again, I need to thank you all so so much for all of this help. It means so much. I really and honestly believe this would be harder, if I didnt get my daily "TCS helpers fix". You all say so much, that reminds me of why I did this, and that no matter what, I have got to stay strong. And it's always at the right times that I see these. I have never felt so helped. I just dont know why, but all of this support is beyond my expectations, and I thank you for it. I really do need it.

Oh and you guys make total sense about the whole thing about how he's already threatening my next boyfriends. He's just hurting, and I suppose that's his way of thinking everythings gonna turn out ok.
post #33 of 40
If you can, rather than allow him to make all the talk between you negative, try to turn it to some positive aspects about him seeing your daughter, and how he can share in her upbringing. Get him to think practically, then maybe he will not see it as being cut completely out of your nad her lives. And when you have a child together, that is the truth of it - you will have to deal with each other in a humane and civilised way in the future.
post #34 of 40
Good for you girl. Wishing you the best.
post #35 of 40
Thread Starter 
Just wanted to let you all know, Im doing great...I think he's a bit better too. He's made himself feel cool..seriously. He went and got a toungue ring, and a new cellphone that sings "Im to sexy for my shirt" when it rings...and blinking lights and light up stuff on it..He's got a new friend, who's a girl, and he's "pimping out" his car.

Whatever makes him happy.

...and it's gonna be summer soon...This shall be a good year.

Now I just gotta find me a good man with values, and all that Mr. Right stuff...that's hard to do in this small town. I really want to move.
post #36 of 40
Wow, im so sorry to hear that. Remember is you need anything we're all here for you. My parents got divorced a couple years ago, and the counselor said to my mom that it took 1 months for every year that you were together, to heal, and be capable of a healthy relationship, so try to remember that, more so for your daughter sake. One day you're going to feel secure and stable again, just remember to keep your chin up, and give your daughter a big hug (it'll make you feel better, i promise, lol).

post #37 of 40
I am going through the same thing. In December, my ex and I decided to end our nine year relationship. Unfortunately, we are forced to live together until we sale the house, which is really difficult.

Your kind words for lilleah and her situation really helped me feel better too.

Thanks again,
post #38 of 40
Thread Starter 
Yes...all of these people and posts have helped me tremendously. Im still in process of moving out. It's not so fun.

Tamara Im sorry that you have to go through living with him still. It's kind of wierd. I think. Because our lives our different...but still the same while living here. When is your house getting sold? That's gotta be tough.
post #39 of 40
Thread Starter 
Anybody know some tips for the current problems Im having?

Ok, He's just not getting it. He's not understanding why Im leaving, he thinks theres more to it other than i just dont love him..How Do I make him understand that without hurting him more than I already have?

How do I deal with this whole thing? It's not cool at all. But it is over, but Im kinda like lost or something. But I just keep a smile on my face, and go through it with strong feelings. That also is killing him. He cant figure out why Im not like depressed.

Are there any good books to read for doing all this that you all know of?

Im almost done moving, and will only be staying here a couple more days, HOW IN THE WORLD am I just going to leave this place? When he's not home? I just cant figure any of this out.
post #40 of 40
Sometimes its easier to leave when youre really angry, not being cool and nice about it.. he will then cool down later on.
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