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Oh god, I think my parent's might be...getting a devorce.

post #1 of 14
Thread Starter 
You have no idea, and I reapeat, NO IDEA how tarrable my dam day was! Ok, so it started last night, when I was in my room and I heard the sound of something falling. after a few minute's, I go out of my room to see what happened. I see a picture had fallen by my parunt's door, whihc was closed, I try and open it and it's locked. my mom asked 'who is it?' and I tell ehr it's me. So she let's me in. Turn's out, they just had a fight. They NEVER fight. ever. So, after talking with my mom (Sevrol subjects. first one on the fight, and the rust unimportont), I go to my room. Yea....I didn't go to sleep 'till...what? eightish?? ya. I wake up, everythings fine for the rest of the day. And then my dad come's home. Now, before I say anything else, let me exsplain why they where fighting.

Yesterday, on a SUNDAY, my dad spent, what?, ELEVEN HOURES playing some stupid army game. That wasn't all. See, he cusses. alot. badly. Which is why I turn my music up so loud on my headphone's when I'm on the computer. He got mad because "when he shoot's it never kill's the enemy's" or "He got killed to easily" or somthing I don't care. I've said it before, and I'll sya it again now: IT'S A GAME, FOR PETE'S SAKE!!! Really! he get's all worked up over a vidio game1 I mean, ok, who doesn't get alittle annoyed when there playing a game and they get there butt kicked? It's normal. But HE act's like it's the most tarrable thing in the world! He play's that game all the time, and ignore's his family! Yesterday was the LAST straw for my mom.

Anyway, when he got home, it was abit after some plumbing guy's came to check out the water (o_~ we have to have this specle thing 'cuz we have well water...), and a short bit after my dad game home and we got back from getting something for me to eat (I was so hungry my stumach was killing me!!), she went down stairs. and then the fighting started. I didn't notess at first, but then I heard and went into the basemnet. i sat on the step and watched them, feeling like I was basicly going to HURL. Now, i couldn't find Charlie, so I tried to pet Miss. Kitty. She wasn't in the modd and tried to bite me...yaaa...THAT made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside (sarcasum). after a hearing alot I got up and went up stair's with Charlie (I found him.). a moment later I went tot he stair's to see if things cooled off. not in the least. I nearly fell back in shock when I heard my mom say "I don't even want to look at you!". I sat down on the couch hugging Charlie, with the TV turned up loud, crying into the cat (he didn't seem to mind) for a moment, but I calmed down and began to read (actuely, it was re-reading a book.).

I'm so worried now that there going to get a devorce and I don't know what to do! I mean, my dad may be a royal pain sometime's, but he's my dad. I can't help but love him. it's like it go's: Can't live with 'im, can't live with out 'im. I swear, I'll never get to sleep tonight. Thopugh, maybe I'll get lucky and cry myself to sleep.

*sigh*I feel stupid asking this: but anyone got ANY advice on how to handle this WITHOUT ending up with me bashing my head agenst the wall and hurting myself?

post #2 of 14
Tell your parents how much their fighting is hurting you.

Just because they have one fight doesn't mean they are getting a divorce.

Every couple has fights and sometimes they are really bad, but it doesn't always end in divorce.

If you have a talk to your parents and ask them what is going on, I'm sure they'll let you know. Sometimes parents forget how much their fighting can affect children who happen to be around to hear it.

And don't forget to pat your kitties when you are feeling sad! That always helps me when I don't feel good!
post #3 of 14
I agree, one fight does not mean they are going to divorce. My dh and I rarely fight...I'm sure if we ever have a nice loud run-in, where we both are blowing off steam after a hard day, my kids will be terrified.

The fact that they can yell means they care. If your Mom didn't care about him, she wouldn't care if he didn't spend enough time with her, right? And everybody overdoes things sometimes...dare I say TCS is my vice?

And guys are different than girls...my dh sometimes yells and acts silly when he plays video games, too. What is is with guys?!?

You probably just witnessed a little growing pains in your parents relationship...maybe they weren't careful to hide the argument from you because they think you are old enough to understand. Definitely talk it out with them. I think you will be very reassured.
post #4 of 14
I'm so sorry that you are going through this now. I know how tough it is to wonder when and if your parents will be getting a divorce. Mine divorced when I was 8. My advice is to keep talking to your mom and to tell her how you feel. It would also be a good idea to talk to a guidance counselor at school and/or to your pastor if you have a church. Just talking about these things helps a lot. Let your mom know that you are worried and that you've heard them fighting. Ask her to be straight with you, but at the same time be careful, because you shouldn't have to deal with this alone. I hope your parents are able to get into counseling and work through whatever issues they are facing. It's obvious to me that you love your parents very much.
post #5 of 14
Another vote for talking it over with your mom. My parents split when i was 13 and I had some rough days after that. Just get the facts on what is going on and definetly talk it over with counselors and such. Even if it seems kinda stupid, it helps. Best of luck to ya! Hopefully they'll get over it
post #6 of 14
Thread Starter 
I hope your right. and as for a school consaler...I'm homeschooled (Alway's have been). I'm jsut kinda stressed on it because...this game thing has gone on since, from what I've heard, when they where newly married...I think. I have a bad emmeory. but he's played game's for as long as I remember. it really effects his real life to. You should see the mood he's in when he come's up. (he's 40 something years old and he's getting worked up over A GAME). I have trubble talking wit my mom, but I alway's do in the end. To tell the truth, one of the reasons I went up stair's in the begining was because I jsut feel I would get asked somethign at some point. *sighs* I hope everything cool's off. It's happened before, a long while ago..but this jsut seem's so much more seiriouse. Even if it does though, I wish he'd try and get off being addicted to this game. it is seiriouisly like smokeing. Ai Yi Yi. Well, things are cool at the moment, so maybe everything is fine. but if they fight again, I'll do what you said for sure!
post #7 of 14
Fighting can be a sign that people are letting their emotions show and that can sometimes be a good thing - as someone said, it shows they care and they are communicating. My ex husband and I never fought, we couldn't be bothered to, because the other's opinion just didn't matter that much. When we split, and I told my daughter (she was 14) she said that she knew we would because we never looked at each other, we never touched each other and we obviously didn't care about each other at all. So do not get all worked up over what may be just an airing of emotion. But you must talk with your mom, and your Dad too if you can and let them know how you feel.
post #8 of 14
Aaw hun I know exactly how you feel. My parents used to have awful arguements before they split up. It used to scare the heck out of me and my sister, it's such a horrible feeling.
Just because they had a fight, even if it did go over a couple of days, it doesn't mean they don't love each other anymore and they are going to divorce. It's just an arguement. My boyfriend and I don't argue often but when we do its just an arguement thats all. You take your time to sort it out in your head and then you get back to normal. Its life.
It sounds like your Dad needs to do something about his game playing though. Thats probably got a lot to do with why they are argueing. Do you think your Dad would listen if you said he spent too much time on there? Or if you said you missed him and wanted to do more with him?
Game stations are like the internet you can spend hours and hours on them and it has a bad effect on the communication in your relationship.
I really hope your parents get it sorted but don't worry sweetheart I don't think it means they will get a divorce. The best thing you can do is just leave them to it. And it's awful hearing it so why don't you go out of the house when it happens? Just go for a walk, anywhere and when you get back things should be calm again.
post #9 of 14
Hun, my parents didn't fight but they finished up with a divorce. It was just a case of neglect and not standing up for what they wanted and eventually there was no love left... they were just together because they were together. I don't know how to handle the fighting, but I would go with the general concensus and tell them how much it upsets you. Your mum and dad will love you more than anything else in the world, and so they have to know what hurts you so that they can limit the damage. If you don't let them know, there could be some damage done to the relationship that you share with them. So I believe it is in everyone's best interests that they know how you feel about it.

I don't think they'll finish up with a divorce just over this.... I suspect it'll be a rough patch... perhaps there's something else going on that's really getting to both of them, perhaps something that's out of their control. As much as they love one another, there will always be the odd times when they'll possibly fight, or there's be harsh words said that although they hurt at the time, neither of them really mean. If they argue, get out of the house and just chill out on your own somewhere.

I do believe that your father needs to know that his kid actually wants to do stuff with him. So I think that's something else you should speak up about. When all is said and done, if you don't ask, you don't get. I spent a few years in a relationship where I just sat down and took the punishment. I didn't stand up for what I wanted out of it, and in the end I learned that you have to be stronger to get what you want. Speak up and don't be afraid to do so.

The arguments your mother and father have are between the two of them, but they have to respect that you're hurting over this as well and they should be aware of taking a little care over what they do or say to one another.

I don't know if any of this lot has made any sense (I'm tired, so forgive me) but don't you panic sweetie, I'm sure that given the time, they shoudl be able to work things out.
post #10 of 14
My parents never fought in front of their kids either. The first time I even heard them raise their voices to each other, I was about 18 (and I was the youngest -- they'd been married 35 years or so at the time! lol). And yeah, I freaked, too.

They were married 58 years to the day -- Mom died in 2004, early on the morning of their wedding anniversary.

I will pray for your parents and for you.
post #11 of 14
Hugs to you....
I agree with the others and tell your parents how much the yelling scares you.
Maybe they don't know you hear all of this and are frightened.
post #12 of 14
Thread Starter 
They yelled again today, though my mom wasn't on my dad mostly, mainly on his family (there very...snobby.). We sat down at the dinner table to day and descussed everything, so I think thing's are fine now. Though, my mom might yell once or twice if my dad get's back into his game ruteen (you know, there are moment's when I actually considder sending a letter to Dr.Phil.). Everything's fine now, though my mom's going to a consaller (Tharipy) so she can sort thing's out and talk to someone else, and I think that, if she feel's she need's to, then it's a good thing. Thanks' for your support. ^_^ must stop now, as my grandma is here. I haven't seen her in awhile!
post #13 of 14
Well done for talking to your parents about it!!

Hope everything goes well for you!
post #14 of 14
Hide his video game.....lol

Sorry, just trying to lighten up the subject.

Hope things work out. Adults argue, but that doesn't mean they don't love each other. Sometimes you just gotta let it out.
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