new kitten not warming up to me yet...how long?

hi everyone! after my sweet mabel crossed the rainbow bridge in january, i said, "i won't be able to have another cat for a long time..." so two weeks ago, i brought her canned food up to the local shelter. no sense letting it go to waste, right?

while i was there, i fell in love with 2 8.5mos old kittens. ruby and roxy. thought about them for a week, and ended up bringing them home.

they were both former ferals (not siblings, but definitely bonded), brought into the shelter at 3 & 4 mos (not sure which was which). both were fostered for a month (together), spayed, tested neg for all the nasty kitty diseases and then brought back to the shelter. and basically haven't been socialized since. they were in the cage with each other and a male kitten about their age. since mid-October.

roxy has warmed up to us. she will let us pet her; she will come out of her bed when we come into the bedroom.

ruby wants nothing to do with us. she will let us pet her (and she will purr), as long as she's in her bed. and she will play with Da Bird and with roxy.

but both of them run like a bat out of hell if we walk by them or bend to pet them. which makes it difficult to administer eye drops for pink eye.

i guess my question is, will they ever not cower like we're going to beat them when we slowly reach to pet? will they ever approach us, instead of us going to them? anyway to make this housewarming more welcoming for them?
right now, they are in a 10x14 bedroom, with litterbox, food, water, lots of toys, a bed in a cardboard box and lots of mommy's attention. i go in and spend 30 to 45 minutes with them at a time. the only time i pick them up is to give them eye drops.

should i just give them more time? how long should i keep them confined to the bedroom? it's been 8 days. (no other pets and no children, just dh & myself.) should i be trying to pick them up when NOT giving the eye drops? ideally, i'd like to get them used to being held and petted.

any insight or tips? i've never had shy animals before, and i want to do what's best for them. thanks!

Originally Posted by mrspotts66

i guess my question is,will they ever not cower like we're going to beat them when we slowly reach to pet?

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Oh yes, and with the way you are caring for them, it may be sooner than you think.

Originally Posted by mrspotts66

will they ever approach us, instead of us going to them? anyway to make this housewarming more welcoming for them?

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Sure! especially if you hold their special food treat or toy.

Originally Posted by mrspotts66

should i just give them more time? how long should i keep them confined to the bedroom?

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Once they feel comfortable with you, you can let them out and explore outside the bedroom. Be sure they are aware that you are nearby watching out for them. Cats need to feel safe in new surroundings.

Originally Posted by mrspotts66

should i be trying to pick them up when NOT giving the eye drops?

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I think you should wait until they've warmed up to you some more. Although it is no guarantee that they'll let you. My Joji is 10+years old and she hates being picked up and carried.

Being kept for several months in a cage is so bad for shy/feral kittens. They were in the cage, and people came and "bothered" them.

My Jasmine started feral, and she has been at my house since November, and often still tends to run in fear from me. I suggest try a cat toy on a string. I don't think fear and fun mix...so if they are able to loosen up and have fun, they aren't feeling fear. A string toy separates you from the toy, so even if kitty is kind of scared, once they begin to play, you can draw them closer to you. This may take days, but over time they become more comfortable.

Once you are done treating their eyes, the relationship will improve a lot. Just try to reinforce that you are there with food, fun, and affection. Try laying down on your back on the floor sometimes, and see if the kitties come to you. Or walking around the room dragging a string toy, so the kitties are following you, rather than you approaching them.

I think they will end up very tame, since they are partially tame now. And don't be afraid to bribe them with treats. A major turning point for Jasmine's sister Blue was when she jumped on my lap for my food! She became so tame that she was adopted out at Petsmart, and is living happily in a new home. She climbs on her new Daddy's chest every night for affection! Your babies will get there in time.

thanks for the replies and the support!

we made some progress last night and this morning!

i went into their room last night and laid down on the bed to read. both girls were in their bed.
roxy peeked out of the box, saw me and said, "brrrrrow?" she then started rubbing up against the sides of the bed that i was on! she WANTED to be petted! i willingly obliged. roxy has taken to purring as soon as she sees me, which of course melts my heart. she's also started doing somersaults and rolls, presenting me with her belly to rub.

then, this morning, ruby (the really shy one) decided that she was brave enough to walk past me to get to the food bowl. she still eats with one eye on me, but as long as i don't make sudden moves, she'll go about her business. and she'll let me pet her as much as i want, as long as she's "safe" in her bed. hey! i'll take what i can get.

definite progress being made. thanks again!

Sounds like it is just going to take time and patience for these babies to come around. Don't force yourself on them, let them come to you and enjoy it when they do.

Hang in there - it won't be long.

you know, just when you think you're making progress, one of your cats hisses at you.

i was across the room, coming in to check and pet the girls. ruby was on the floor, all stretched out, and she took one look at me, hissed, and raced into her bed. i went to her bed, petted her, talked to her ("you're such a good girl, ruby. it's okay. good girl, sweetie."). she rolled over and stretched out for more petting!?

it wasn't like i was quiet coming into the room. i always announce myself, in case they're sitting by the door. "hi, girls. mommy's coming in." then i rattle the door knob before going in. (dh thinks i'm nuts, but i don't want to scare them...they've been scared for too long, iykwim?)

and i haven't been mauling ruby. i don't ignore her, by any means. i'll drop down by the box, give her a few strokes and then go about my business. she doesn't seem to have a problem with that.

just give her more time, do you think?

it's only been 8 days. Maverick hated me for a good week and she was a weeny baby when we got her!

Bribe them with smelly or extra tasty food such as weeny amonts of tuna (in spring water not brine), prawns/shrimp, plain boiled cod or chicken.

I think you should try to pick them up outside of the eye drops otherwise they will assciate being held with nasty drops. Just make sure you give them lots of treats and games afterwards.

Kandie is 17.5 yrs old and only seemed to like /love my mom for the first 13 ish yrs but now loves on me alot...

Zoey was a formal feral and 14 months she is so loving and sweet it is amazing

thanks, everyone.

i know it will take more time. i'm just so impatient to start loving on these kitties...i was hoping for lap cats, but may have to settle for on-their-terms-and-time cats.

they're both sweet, and they are definitely coming around. and neither one has made any attempt to bite or claw. so the hissing is confusing to me.

one day at a time, one bribe at a time.

Awww! They are lucky to have adopted you!

My Callie is a former semi-feral cat and she STILL has periods of skittishness. I've had her for 8 years now and she still startles easily if I move too quickly, runs at unexpected noises (like when my husband sneezes!), and hides when people come over. She is a total jewel for us, though. She will only tolerate me holding her for a few minutes, if she's in the mood. She will very occasionally jump up in my lap IF I have pants on. BUT it's my voice that makes her tail twitch when I'm talking to or about her, it's ME she comes to for food, it's ME she snuggles up to in bed at night, and it's ME she allows to pet her tummy.

Just be patient with your kitties. Talk to them as you're approaching them and while petting them. Also, you may want to squat down or sit on the floor to pet them so that you're not towering over them. They WILL come around, but you'll have to let them set the pace. They are still adjusting to their new home, new people, new noises, new scents and all that stuff.

Keep us posted!!

Stephanie