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So i think my cat hates me.

post #1 of 4
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Yeah so we have a cat and have had one for a little while we got him when like was like 2ish years old i think and its been almost a year and i think im the nicest to him in out family i give him treats, pet him, play with him but it seems he allways runs from me when i try to spend time with him the only way i can ever see him is to pick him up when hes not expecting it because any other time he runs and hides i just thinks he hates me i wish he didnt i wish he would like me and come to me and lay on me like he does everyone else in my family .

Does anyone have any tips on what i can do to make him not hate me
post #2 of 4
Do you know anything of his background? Did he live on his own? Was he a stray or feral?

It's very possible, depending on his background, that he may see your approaching him as a threat. You're so much bigger than him that he may see you as a predator and his instinct is to run and hide. The best way to build trust is to ignore him. I know it sounds odd, but tend to his needs and otherwise ignore him. Cats are very curious and it won't be long before he wants to know why you aren't approaching him. LOL By ignoring him, you are showing him that you aren't a threat to him, that you can be in the same room and not chase him down.

I'll move this to Behavior for you.
post #3 of 4
Don't take it personally!! Our newest member Mocha is like this. I have been working with him on learning to trust me. I find that I can get him to come see me if I'm sitting on the floor instead of standing. It puts me on an even field. He doesn't want to ever be picked up and it's worse if someone goes behind him to grab him. It takes him by surprise. That only makes him more scared.

His very favorite place is under the end table next to the couch and I just lay my arm off to the side and let him come to me for scratches. I hope one day he will feel comfortable enough to jump on the couch and curl in my lap but until than I will take all the rubs I can get under the end table.

Be patient and let him come to you and it will be worth all the waiting in the world!! Good Luck!
post #4 of 4
Does everyone else in your family ignore him? That's probably why he goes up to them, as Heidi said

Cats are so different to dogs. A dog will love you to approach it, to give it all the love in the world, to pet and hug and cuddle it. Cats do NOT like this. Mostly, it just freaks them out....like `aaaargh you're crowding me!!!'. Plus, when you pick him up when he's not expecting it, every time you do that, he loses his trust in you, because he feels threatened.

It's hard to get used to, but you have to reverse your thinking here. Ignore, and be rewarded. Approach, and be mistrusted. Strange, but true.

Feed him, put treats down in front of him but let him approach them on his own, get an interactive cat toy like Da Bird or something, so you can play wit him but you don't need to pick him up or stick a toy in his face . Otherwise? Ignore him entirely. I know you love him and want cuddles, and trust me, if you pay no attention to him whatsoever other than to tend his needs, he'll end up sleeping in your arms!!
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