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Our cat gets grumpier every day and won't befriend our other cat

post #1 of 4
Thread Starter 
We have 2 cats. Clonks is about 18 months old and Tabs is around 14 months. They are both strays that came to our house. Clonks came first only 6 weeks old.

They are both males, both been neutered.

Clonks was always an indoor/outdoor cat and very very sweet lovely cat. Would not sit on our lap but full of energy. Then in March of last year his life was turned upside down when a neighbors dog got him and almost killed him. After a lengthy stay in hospital and surgery he pulled through and came home. Then he had to stay in a cage for another 2 months until his leg healed. After all that he finally was up and about, he's even been back out in our garden (we tried keeping him in after the accident but he was so unhappy)

Then a few months later a new stray came to our house and we decided to keep him, we thought it would be nice for Clonks to have a friend. This was a shock to Clonks who was used to having us for himself.

The next 6 months have been turbulent. They will get into the worst fights making all sorts of racket. This particularly happens in the early evening.

For the most part, Tabs just wants to play, so to him running around and jumping on Clonks is all a bit of fun. As soon as he tries something though Clonks is hissing and spitting at him, then goes off growling or they start fighting.

When they fight we will throw a towel over them to seperate them then chase them into seperate rooms and leave them to calm down. My friend told me we need to let them fight it out to sort out there roles but after 6 months of this I think they should have figured it out?

Also, Clonks will start growling at nothing when he is on his own, when neither us or the other cat is around! He will start growling and looking around as if he sees something he is scared of.

I don't know if he is still traumatized from the near-death experience or if he is unhappy about the other cat. We try to give them both attention. Unfortunately the other cat loves to sit on our lap whereas Clonks hates to be held.

I also wonder if he is ill but the vet checked him out as OK. He did seem to have allergies to his food so we switched to Natural Balance and it seems a lot better.

I also have to confess we have lost our temper with the cats. I have smacked him which I know is a no no. Have not done this since doing more research on how to treat cats.

Despite all this, when Clonks still sleeps on our bed and loves us, as does Tabs. Sometimes they will happily sleep in the same room, though this seems to becomeing rarer and rarer as Clonks random growling turns seems to get more common. I wish they could become better friends so we didn't have to seperate them all the time and Clonks would be able to relax and share our home.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated!

post #2 of 4
While I don't have much experience with cats who've been traumatized, I do have some very recent experience with introducing a new cat into the household and living with a very grumpy cat! I've found that if I can spend some quality time with my older cat everyday, maybe brushing her without the little one interrupting us or playing exclusively with the older cat (which means the little one may have to spend 20-30 minutes isolated in a separate room with toys) it really makes her happier, less grumpy, and nicer to the new kitty. Also, when they are together, I make it a point to really praise the older one and somewhat ignore the newer kitty. I figured out that my older cat was somewhat jealous of the new kitty.

I know that someone else with more experience will be along soon to give some advice, but wanted you to know you're not alone.

post #3 of 4
Thread Starter 
Thank you for your advice Stephanie,

I have tried to make a bit more of a fuss with Clonks today and so far so good they haven't been bothering each other. I also got some of that Feliway stuff and sprayed it near doorways as I've noticed that's where they seem to bump into each other and Clonks gets upset.

Any more advice appreciated I'm sure they will soon be back in the wars!
post #4 of 4
Been there and one thing for sure, there is no time limit regarding cats getting along. My gang of 4 are until now in the "tolerance" stage. I mean, I have not seen them cuddle, bathe or sleep with one another. They do not fight (thank God that seems to be over). And except for Wawa, the rest have been with me for years.
We can help though. There's Feliway, scent exchanges, and making yourself the alpha cat so they respect your wishes for peace , among other tricks. Other than that, it's really up to the kitties. Your Clonks of course has been traumatized and one can't possibly really say how badly it has affected him. Hopefully Tabs may learn by association, how he should behave towards his big brother.
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