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Am I Mrs. Robinson?

post #1 of 29
Thread Starter 
Ok so I met a guy at my birthday bash thing. I'm now 31, he's, um...23. We had some good conversation (that he started) about him wanting kids and family and he wants a woman more mature than the girls he knows and has dated. He got out of a 5 year relationship recently and she cheated on him, etc, and he's looking for a more serious woman. Is this a rediculous age gap, and should I even consider it? I have to admit, I have a personal preference for guys younger than me, (legal, of course )but they seem too immature after a while, like all they want to do is party and stuff. I was told by a lot of people that night that he seems nice and he was really polite to everyone there, including my parents. I work with his friend's mom and she said he's a really nice guy, the best out of all her daughter's friends. I kinda blew him off more than I normally would because beer was involved and I didn't know if it was beer goggles or he really liked me, but he acted like he did before he was drinking so I don't know. I know that only I can make the decision, but.....What do you think? I don't even know what will come of it, if anything, but is it worth a try or is it gross? I recently got some advice that I should stop looking for a potential husband and just go with it and stop worrying so much about it....
post #2 of 29
Nothing says you have to have a serious relationship immediately. I think you should at least give him a chance.
post #3 of 29
Sure, get to know the guy. I prefer more mature men but I say whatever floats your boat.
post #4 of 29
Though I tend to be attracted to older men, I often end up dating younger men. Older men tend to carry a lot more baggage than younger guys. My last serious BF was 2 years younger than me, and though there were issues with his immaturity, he was a decent guy. I've been through a lot though, so baggage isn't too much of an issue for me to deal with. Though admittedly, it is nice to date younger guys who have less of it.

Hey, just over a year ago I could've dated a guy who was 20! I was 32. But for me, that was way too much of a gap. Just enjoy it and see what happens, and let the M word disappear from your vocabulary for a while.
post #5 of 29
My fiance' is 7 years my junior.

All I can say is if you two are comfortable with it, who cares about anyone else?
That said, be certain you have more than a few things in common, whether you're dating, or getting serious.
post #6 of 29
If the guy seems interesting to you, give it a try! Just have fun, get to know him and see where it takes you.
Maybe you'll end up being good friends with him, maybe you'll find him really annoying or maybe things will really work out

You wont know unless you give it a try.
post #7 of 29
Thread Starter 
I am going to take the advice about chilling with the marriage thing and have fun for a while, who knows what might happen?
Hm, yeah I forgot to mention, isn't there something with younger men in their peak and older women in theirs, and it's quite a match up? This might work...hehe...
On the other hand, older men dating younger women is accepted but usually isn't it not as accepted if it's the other way around?
Shoe is on the other foot, I'm the one with the baggage...divorce! *sharp intake of breath!* lol...
post #8 of 29
I don't think 7 years is anything to worry about.

More importantly - does he like cats?
post #9 of 29
Originally Posted by jeanor
More importantly - does he like cats?
Yes, that would be one of my first dating Q's.
post #10 of 29
Thread Starter 
Yes, he says he likes animals, but from his stories I think he's only met naughty cats, not nice ones like mine. That oughta be a switch...he seems like more of a dog person, but luckily I have 1 and 1/4 dogs so that should make him happy too.
post #11 of 29
I think you guys seem to be at an age where a relationship would be totally appropirate. Now, if her were 17 and you were 25....then there'd be an issue. But if you find that you and this guy hit it off...go for it!
post #12 of 29
Go for it. Have some fun!
post #13 of 29
7 years isnt a big difference... just pretend you arent the older one
post #14 of 29
As long as your both adults,age doesn't matter
post #15 of 29
FWIW my Dad was 27 when he married my Mum, who was 34. They had been an item for several years, but didn't marry right away, not because they didn't want to, but because it was the depression and they had no $$. Had they married sooner, they'd have made 50 before Mum died; as it was they were in their 50th year.

A guy 7 years younger is no big deal if it's the right two people. You won't ever find out if you don't give it a chance. But DO take time to just have fun. If it's meant to be, that will be clear soon enough.
post #16 of 29
I knew what this was going to be about the instant I read the title. Since the guy is 23, I don't really see a problem with it. If you two have enough in common and share some chemistry you should go for it. By the way, with the thread title you have, I can't believe no one has sung the song to bug you yet, so I will...

And here's to you Mrs. Robinson
Jesus loves you more than you will know... woah woah woah
blah blah blah please Mrs. Robinson
Heaven holds a place for those who pray... hey hey hey
hey hey hey!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

post #17 of 29
trust Wyan to have sung to you

I totally agree, if he seems mature enough for you, and is right for you why dont you give it a chance? I mean its all just fresh, give it a little time and chill off about marrige but isnt having the ring so pwetty??

You and i have just come out of a S***y relationships, although it might seem like we are ready to date again, we still should just take it slowly and go with the flow.
The guy i like is 23 this year if it works out maybe we can have a double wedding??

okay im done being stupid now :P
post #18 of 29
I've only ever been with one guy younger, and that was by two months, and that was enough!!! Having said that, this guy seems really nice, genuine and mature from what you said in your OP. Guys go out with significantly younger girls all the time and no one even looks sideways at that. There shouldn't be a difference.

Why not, Shannon?? Lord knows you've had a rough trot lately and if nothing else you'll probably end up with a groovy new friend.

And a bit of a snog, too, which never hurts....
post #19 of 29
Age is just a number, go for it girl, lifes too short!
post #20 of 29
Originally Posted by rosiemac
Age is just a number, go for it girl, lifes too short!
Exactly - it's far more likely to work out if you go for it than if you don't!

Just think of the ego boost too knowing that you can still attract younger men.
post #21 of 29
Go for it!

I once got involved with a 17 year old (mature for his age) and I was 26

Our age difference wasn't a problem but, I had to return to SA and he had to do his national service.
post #22 of 29
When I was 30 I met my husband who was then 23. We just celebrated our 28th wedding anniversary on January 6.

Go for it and enjoy every minute!
post #23 of 29
If you still know how to have fun (sounds like ya do) and he is wanting to have fun, too, then... have fun.

Worry-not about age, after all, Demi & Ashton are getting along just fine.

Don't fret about if it can go long-term, anyway; just have fun & get to know each other. No one says you have to pick out curtains on the first date, anyway.

I am sick of dating guys older than me, done with it, I'm going to go for the really young pups (over 21 but younger than me). Guys close to 40, which I've been dating lately, are wanting to get married and basically go into Husband Coma. I ain't ready for all that, I just wanna have fun! So if you don't want that 23 year old, send him my way.
post #24 of 29
Originally Posted by menagerie mama
Yes, he says he likes animals, but from his stories I think he's only met naughty cats, not nice ones like mine. That oughta be a switch...he seems like more of a dog person, but luckily I have 1 and 1/4 dogs so that should make him happy too.
how is it possible to own 1/4 of a dog? which fourth do you have?
post #25 of 29
I'm going to disagree that a 9-year age difference doesn't matter in your case. Such a difference would matter less if you were 41 and he was 33, and still less if you were 51 and he was 43.

I think you need to be very honest about what you are looking for in a relationship. If you want to get married and have a family, a 23 y/o guy is not going to be ready for that. I'm only saying this because at 31, you may be getting baby fever soon. LOL

If you go into this with the expectation that it's going to be a fun, casual relationship, I think you'll be fine. But be careful of falling in love with Junior.

Oh, and ... koo koo ker-choo, Mrs. Robinson. LOL
post #26 of 29
Thread Starter 
I've been away from this thread too long. You guys all made me laugh!
Thanks for the song Wyan, yep I knew most of you would get the title right away!
Sarah..."snog?" If that's what I think it is... hmmm..
By 1/4 dogs I mean Pedro...he's such a little guy, I call him my 1/4 dog!
Vibiana, I know, most guys his age aren't the settling down type, but he says he is and from everyone I've talked to, he's really mature for his age, preferring to converse with adults rather than people his own age...Ugh...I almost said "kids his own age."
I think I'll just give him a chance, if he calls me that is. And have some fun with it...
Thanks for the advice everyone!
PS, can I maybe get some more guys' opinions on this one?
post #27 of 29
Um don't know that I can give you to much advice on this but I just wanted to let you know I have been with my hubby now comming up for 21 years and there is a 7 year gap in our ages so it can work he is older than me that is the only diff hope that helps I say go for it what do you have to lose
post #28 of 29
My mom is 7 years older than my step-dad. I'd just get to know him and not worry about where it's going yet. Have fun!!!
post #29 of 29
Hey Shannon!!, I can't believe I missed this thread until now!!. I say if you have a good connection with this guy than go for it. Sure there are lots of inmature 23 year olds but there are many inmature 33 years olds as well. Age isn't always a good indication. Just go with your gut on this one!
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