Hi Everyone,
My friend sent me this email the other day and I thought it was appropriate to share with everyone on this site. My cats do everything that is on this list.
Enjoy!
Dear Dogs and Cats,
The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your food.
The other dishes are mine and contain my
food.
Please note, placing a paw print in the
middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim
for it becoming your food and dish, nor
do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.
The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack.
Beating me to the bottom is not the object.
Tripping me doesn't help because I fall
faster than you can run.
I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry about
this.
Do not think I will continue sleeping on
the couch to ensure your comfort.
Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a
ball when they sleep.
It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular
to each other stretched out to the fullest extent possible.
I also know that sticking tails straight
out and having tongues hanging out the other end
to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm.
For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom.
If by some miracle I beat you there and
manage to get the door shut,
it is not necessary to claw, whine, meow,
try to turn the knob or get your paw under
the edge and try to pull the door open.
I must exit through the same door I entered.
Also, I have been using the bathroom for
years --canine or feline attendance is not mandatory.
The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt.
I cannot stress this enough!
To pacify you, my dear pets, I have posted the following message on our
front door:
To All Non-Pet Owners Who Visit & Like to Complain About Our
Pets:
1. They live here. You don't.
2. If you don't want their hair on your
clothes, stay off the furniture.
(That's why they call it "fur"niture.)
3. I like my pets a lot better than I like
most people.
4. To you, it's an animal.
To me, he/she is an adopted son/daughter
who is short, hairy, walks on all fours and doesn't speak clearly.
Remember: Dogs and cats are better than kids because they:
1. Eat less
2. Don't ask for money all the time
3. Are easier to train
4. Usually come when called
5. Never drive your car
6. Don't hang out with drug-using friends
7. Don't smoke or drink
8. Don't worry about having to buy the latest fashions
9. Don't wear your clothes
10. Don't need a gazillion dollars for college, and
11. If they get pregnant, you can sell their children.
My friend sent me this email the other day and I thought it was appropriate to share with everyone on this site. My cats do everything that is on this list.
Enjoy!
Dear Dogs and Cats,
The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your food.
The other dishes are mine and contain my
food.
Please note, placing a paw print in the
middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim
for it becoming your food and dish, nor
do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.
The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack.
Beating me to the bottom is not the object.
Tripping me doesn't help because I fall
faster than you can run.
I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry about
this.
Do not think I will continue sleeping on
the couch to ensure your comfort.
Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a
ball when they sleep.
It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular
to each other stretched out to the fullest extent possible.
I also know that sticking tails straight
out and having tongues hanging out the other end
to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm.
For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom.
If by some miracle I beat you there and
manage to get the door shut,
it is not necessary to claw, whine, meow,
try to turn the knob or get your paw under
the edge and try to pull the door open.
I must exit through the same door I entered.
Also, I have been using the bathroom for
years --canine or feline attendance is not mandatory.
The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt.
I cannot stress this enough!
To pacify you, my dear pets, I have posted the following message on our
front door:
To All Non-Pet Owners Who Visit & Like to Complain About Our
Pets:
1. They live here. You don't.
2. If you don't want their hair on your
clothes, stay off the furniture.
(That's why they call it "fur"niture.)
3. I like my pets a lot better than I like
most people.
4. To you, it's an animal.
To me, he/she is an adopted son/daughter
who is short, hairy, walks on all fours and doesn't speak clearly.
Remember: Dogs and cats are better than kids because they:
1. Eat less
2. Don't ask for money all the time
3. Are easier to train
4. Usually come when called
5. Never drive your car
6. Don't hang out with drug-using friends
7. Don't smoke or drink
8. Don't worry about having to buy the latest fashions
9. Don't wear your clothes
10. Don't need a gazillion dollars for college, and
11. If they get pregnant, you can sell their children.
