Help!!

Good Morning,
I hope someone can help me. I have a two year old male cat, about 20 pounds! He has become aggressive and we don't know what to do with him.
We moved to Texas from Connecticut in August and then moved back two months later, the job did not work out. Anyway, our three cats rode in the back of our vehicle in a large dog crate. No problem on the way down, three days, a little medication from the vet helped.
On the way home two months later, Jack, did not want anything to do with that cage. I understand why but he became so aggressive that I was scared of him. We stayed in hotels on the way home, would bring them all in with us at night and they would seem fine. On the last night, Jack, must have had enough already, I know I did. I could not get the medication into him, and he hid under a bed in the hotel, hissing and yowling and in attack mode.
My husband just wanted to leave him, it took me an hour and a half to get him out. I had been bitten, scratched pretty bad as well.
We have now been home for over three months, he has calmed down, but I cannot pick him up anymore, cannot cut his nails and I don't know what I would do if he had to go to the vet! I cannot handle him because of his size either. He will let me pet him on his own terms and thats fine, but I used to be able to cut his nails and groom him, now he will run and hide and hiss! His nails are so long they are catching on everything.
I don't know what to do, somedays I feel like opening the door and letting him go.
It's just not a good thing that I am scared of him now, and I know he can tell that I am.
Please Help! I don't want to give him up.

THanks,
Jane:

He doesn't trust you anymore. I'm sure you didn't mean harm, but look at it from his point of view. To him, that crate was very scary, and very unpleasant, and you dragged him out of hiding and forced him into it for three days in a row. So, he won't let you pick him up or get him into any kind of position where you have power over him anymore. You may be scared of him, but he's terrified of you.

You need to earn his trust again, if you can. Don't try and pick him up or do anything he doesn't want you to. Respect his boundaries absolutely. But do play with him and pet him if he wants, so he remembers all the good things that come from you. Hopefully, with patience, he will decide to trust you again. However, be prepared that he may not, and you will never be able to pick him up again. For the claws, you may need to just have a vet tech do it (mine is willing to make house calls, so you don't have to put him in a carrier).

Above all, it would be wrong to give him up. It isn't his fault that he's behaving this way. I'm sure you love him, so you want to stand by him, not dump him for being afraid.

I will look into the vet tech home visit for his nails.. I understand he went through a terrible experience. He is at least sleeping with me again and lets me pet him, so with some more time he may get back to normal. I hope.
I feel so bad, but had no choice when we moved. I figured a large cage like that would not be as scary for him. He was in with his other two buddies and they were really not affected much at all.

Thanks again,
Jane

Feliway always helps with unwanted behaviors and to calm the cats down. It is a bit pricey but I would try getting a few of the plug-ins as they seem to be much more effective. You can order them online or pick them up at PetSmart or PetCo.