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Beside Myself

post #1 of 23
Thread Starter 
I accidently stepped on our kitty the other day while getting ready to feed him and our older cat, I had my work boots on and I got him pretty good. He acted like he was knocked out and when I picked him up he came to and began to gasp for breath, realizing he couldn't breath I gave him some rescue breaths short bursts and he began to breath again. I knew he was still in danger and I was crying by then, my daughter came down stairs because she heard me saying "don't die on me", I guess I was yelling it pretty loud, we took him to the Vet a little ways from our house and they took him immediately, he was lightly crying as I handed him over. They immediately took him in the back and began their examination and took x-rays and put him in an oxygen chamber, they said he appeared to have a bruises on his lungs but couldn't see any damage to his internal organs. They said they would keep him under observation and we could stay or leave him and come back, I had to get to work so I left him, praying in the car on the way back that he would be ok. My daughter was planning on going back over to be with him so he wouldn't be alone but she was scared to go by herself, so I went with her during my lunch hour and got good news for the moment that he was breathing on his own and seemed to be doing ok, they felt he could go home at the end of the day and I was relieved. We got him home and he slept alot, our older cat came over and licked him from head to toe and it encouraged the little guy to get up and use the litter box to urinate, a good sign we thought.
Our little buddy was a fiesty little thing from the minute we set him down in the house for the first time, we rescued him from the Animal Shelter and were looking forward to having him as an addition to our family, he immediately went over to the older one and started to play with him. He was a fighter at less than half the size of our other cat and they eventually got a long pretty well.
While he was resting he had an episode of hacking like he had a hairball or something and couldn't clear it, the first time he sat up and then jumped to the floor making that coughing noise. We calmed him down and he slept a little more and then had a really bad episode and it scared us both, my wife ran upstairs to the bedroom because she couldn't bear to listen to him, it scared him so much he ran upstairs after her to the safety of our bedroom, unfortunately it wasn't a safe place because he kept on coughing and panicked the older cat evan ran up and appeared to try and help, eventually he settled down again. We then decided to take him to the animal hospital and they immediately put him in an incubator poor little guy just couldn't get comfortable I guess I hurt hiim too badly, he lasted the night and in the morning my wife stopped by to see him on her way to work he was very restless and when he saw her he sat up and came over to the little hole on the incubator and she told him it was ok to let go and that we loved him and he sat straight up and gasped for air. She couldn't stand to watch so she went to the waiting room and thats when the Vet came out and said he's gone. She had called me at work and I was on my way over to see him, unfortunately he was gone by the time I got there, they let us see him and his body was still warm and I picked him up and smelled him and cried so hard. We took him home and buried him by our house so we can see him when we want. I feel so bad and so responsible for what happened it hurts so bad to think I caused so much pain in his little life, for having him such a short time we all bonded with him very quickly and the whole family daughter and son included thoroughly enjoyed his company. We took a lot of pictures of him and I can't bear at the moment to look at them, even feeding our other cat elicits tears and remorse, I wish I could tell him how sorry I am for hurting him. I hope that no one has to go through what I'm going through, I just hope they don't judge us for hurting them, while we had him home that evening he cuddled up next to me a time or too and appeared to recognize me he brushed against my leg and I think he was saying it's ok. I just wish I could have saved him.
post #2 of 23
Oh I`m soooo sorry...for him..and for you.
You certainly did`nt mean to injure was an accident.
Thank you for caring so much for this guy.....I`m sure he knew that you did`nt mean to hurt him ...and how bad you feel.
Anybody here would feel the same way you do...but PLEASE DO forgive yourself....and thank you for sharing this heartache with us here on TCS... I hope you know that we care.
post #3 of 23
I am so sorry for what happened to your little cat. Rest in peace sweet kitty.
You are missed and loved.
post #4 of 23
I am so sorry for your tragic loss. There was another thread about a kitten who was accidentally stepped on...but thankfully he was ok.
I don't know if it will help you to see that others have had terrible accidents, too. But you are truly not the only one. And it was an accident! Condolences to you, your wife, and your children in this loss.

May the kitty rest in peace, whole and well now over the Rainbow Bridge.
post #5 of 23
My heart goes out to you and your family in the loss of your kitty. I know you feel awful, but don’t beat yourself up. It was an accident, and you did all you could to help him after it happened. He knows he was loved and will be waiting for you at the Rainbow Bridge.

R.I.P. sweet little kitty.
post #6 of 23
((hugs)) I am so sorry about your kitty.
post #7 of 23
Thats so tragic I'm so sorry for both of you

RIP little one, and play happily over the bridge
post #8 of 23
What a tragic accident for you both.
I am so sorry this happened, you and your family will be in my thoughts.

Rip sweet angel
post #9 of 23
What a tragic time for you. You must not beat yourself up, it's awful that this happened but you did not mean to do this. We all have accidents with our cats and any of those accidents could potentially result in this tragedy, it's just so unfortunate it had to happen to you and your kitty. I know these words won't mean much just now but nobody will think you are a bad person and in time it will get easier and the guilt will pass and you'll realise whats meant to be sometimes hurts like hell but theres nothing you can do to stop it. I hope so badly that you feel better soon and can let go of the guilt and pain soon. Rest in Peace little kitty.
post #10 of 23
Thread Starter 
Thank you all for your kind words and wonderful thoughts, they truly comfort me. I am getting better each day at not kicking myself and realize he was here for a purpose to bring joy to our lives even if it was for a short time and to help me realize how precious life is. You are truly wonderful people it is good to know there are people out there like yourselves who can take the time out of their busy day to comfort a stranger, may you all be blessed in everything you do throughout your lives and to those you touch each day.
Thank You.
post #11 of 23
I am so, so sorry for your loss. As others have said, it was an accident. I believe he knows that. You obviously gave your kitty much love and care. RIP sweet kitty.
post #12 of 23
Both of you are in my prayers..... as it has been said accidents happen.
post #13 of 23
Stories like this send me into tears, only because I know exactly how you feel. You really shouldn't beat yourself up. IT WAS AN ACCIDENT. If you were a bad person, you wouldn't be feeling the way you do now.

Here is my story.

In June of '05 I got a kitten. He was only 6 weeks old, I got him for free off of Craigslist. He was going to be the barn cat that... never made it to the barn. My parents of course saw right through this, but let me take him home anyways. I named him Vader, he was all black, and he was going to have long hair. I was excited because I would be able to shave him when he was older, and be the cat groomer at our clinic. I was also excited because I wanted him to be the PERFECT cat patient. We FIV/FELV tested him, he came out negative. Other than having some fleas, he was perfect.

I had him for about a week and my parents went camping. I didn't go because I had the cat. My friend stayed the night, and the next morning I sat down in the recliner. I have NO IDEA why I sat there. I never did for fear he would be under there. The phone rang, I jumped up without thinking, I came back and Vader was on the flood. His head was swelling and he was twitching. I started screaming and bawling and I got dressed and by the time I got to the clinic he had already passed away. It's making me cry just thinking about it. He was such a good little guy, and I was SO STUPID. Even now that I have my new cat, I might roll over partially onto him something in the night and I'll wake up freaking out, or I have dreams that he's died.

But it was an accident. When I got to work everyone started sharing their stories, one of the technician's brothers accidentally stepped on a kitten and killed it, one of the dr's accidentally locked his cat in the dryer. It is simply an accident, you learn from them and hopefully next time you'll be able to do things differently.

I am SO sorry for your loss, I can totally identify with you, and if you need someone to rant to or what have you feel free to drop me a PM. I completely understand what is going through your mind.
post #14 of 23
I am so sorry for the loss of your kitty - my thoughs are with your family
post #15 of 23
I am so sorry for the loss of your kitten. Don't beat yourself up about it - it was an accident and it happens. I accidentally stepped on one of my kittens last week when she got underfoot as I was trying to put food down for her. Luckily, I only stepped on her tail but I felt absolutely awful when she screeched and ran away from me
post #16 of 23
Oh I'm so very sorry this happened, both for you and your little kitty.
post #17 of 23
This is so awful for anyone to go through.Im so sorry for your loss
post #18 of 23
I am so sorry! You did not mean to hurt him! I am praying for you.
post #19 of 23
My heart goes out to you,in this very trying time.
God bless you and your beloved little one,RIP
post #20 of 23
My heart goes out to you for your accident, but you know the little one would never have blamed you, no matter what. A friend who does foster care unknowingly had a kitten crawl into her dryer -- it was too late when she realized he was missing, and there was nothing the ER Clinic could do. She still blames herself but has moved on to foster other needy kitties -- hopefully you will soon find space in your heart and home for another homeless baby too. Forgive yourself -- you can be assured the little one did so long ago.
post #21 of 23
Condolences to you and your family on the loss of your little one Sometimes it is very difficult not to blame yourself for a too-common type of accident but it WAS an accident. You and your family gave the precious little guy so much love and joy , he felt valued and loved, and every effort was made to help him. Please know that Heaven must have really, really needed that sweet little cat, and he now he joins our TCS Cats Club over RB.
post #22 of 23
Words cannot express how sorry I feel for those of you who lost your cats due to accidents. I have spent hours crying over your story about your poor kitty getting stepped on. I know he is happy waiting in Heaven for the day you come and meet him again
post #23 of 23
I am so sorry to hear this. It was an accident.
It was not your fault. You did nothing intentional to
harm him. I know it has to be very hard
to deal with. Please try to be forgiving to yourself.
You and your family gave him a loving
home and did everything you could to
help him after the accident. Your baby was lucky to have
a family who cared about him so much and while
he was with you he knew he was loved. Noone is going
to judge you. Bad things happen sometimes and
you did everything you could to save him. Your family
is lucky to have a dad who cares so much.
I know sometimes nothing can seem to make you feel
better. This website has helped me
deal with sadness that I still cannot seem to
let go of. Just know that there are others out
there that feel your pain and care as much as you do.
You are not alone...
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