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Should I be tested?

post #1 of 22
Thread Starter 
My husband's friends from work have a poker night almost every Thursday night. We started playing back in November, I believe. I am not very good at it at all. Before we started playing, I had never played at all before. Every time we play, I make mistakes and I can't seem to understand the game. My husband mentioned that every time I mess up they tell me how to do it correctly, but I don't ever remember (no, I wasn't drinking to have forgotten something). My husband also says I do this in another card game called Magic. Explaining to me the directions of the game is like talking to a brick wall. I can't seem to grasp this. Well, this is in a lot of cases of learning things for me it seems like. I have to do something over and over again to fully understand something. I am at lost--I don't want to show up next Thursday feeling stupid or have my husband pissed off at me because I "folded" at the wrong moment. What should I do? Should I be tested for a learning disability since I can't seem to get the grasp on learning; especially with these two thing?
post #2 of 22
Candie-
Do you notice that you have more trouble when someone is explaining something to you, as opposed to when you are learning by "hands-on" experience?
I can not grasp anything that someone explains to me unless I can actually see or touch what it is they are teaching me... For example in class my professors hand out their notes so that we don't have to write while they are talking, I leave with no understanding of the lecture. If I write it down, I understand... If I was being explained how to play a card game, I wouldn't understand if they were just explaining it to me before the game. I would learn by someone sitting with me and explaining to me what was going on as it happened. Does that make sense?
If you suspect a learning disability I definately think it would be a big help to get tested. I am just trying to explain that everyone learns by different techniques, so what works for your hubby or your friends, might not work for you.
post #3 of 22
You could go through educational testing and find out for sure if you have some type of learning disability. There is no cure, however. It is mostly learning to cope and compensate by using your strengths. If you do not grasp things well auditorily, perhaps you are a visual or kinesthetic learner. There are a number of places online where you can take a learning styles inventory. Do a search for 'learning styles inventory' or 'multiple intelligences'.
post #4 of 22
She is right...there is no cure....people with learning disabilities have to learn to cope...and sometimes they can get help to train themselves to help themselves learn what to do to aid themselves in learning somthing new. (Bet that last long sentence was confusing.Sorry!)
The one good thing about being tested is that IF you do have a learning disability....at least people are usually a bit more patient if they understand that it is the case.(Hopefully, and especially "HUBBY" at the card table!)
Linda
post #5 of 22
I think you(and your DH) are waaaaaaaaay over-reacting. I havn't played cards or poker in many years but I do watch the Poker Championship shows on cable TV and I see the hard choices that have to be made by professional poker players that have been playing it for decades in some instances. Some of them fold at the wrong time too.

Your post shows me you know how to 'think', spell, and put two sentences togeather . Poker is NOT easy and for all you know, the other players mess up too.

If you enjoy it and the comeradie, then keep trying but just because you don't grasp the finer points of a very difficult game and its tactics no way indicates you have a learning disorder!!!!!

Dan
post #6 of 22
I agree with the above post....sounds like a bit of an overreaction. I say this because no matter how many times people have tried to explain magic to me, it just ends up as a droning sound that I cant recall later. The reason? Deep down, even when I tried to pretend different, I had NO desire to really learn how to play. I like the cards, I like having fun, but being serious and all about strategy is so not me. As for poker...some people are just never good poker players. Again, these tend to be the people who play for fun and game and not the serious anal crazed"mustwin" players.
If you had a learning disability, I would think it would have appeared earlier in life and not just surrounding card games....maybe you and cards are just cosmically not meant to be together???
good luck
post #7 of 22
I am intelligent. I know I am. But I have the WORST time trying to learn just from someone talking to me unless I am completely into learning what the person is trying to teach. I don't like to be read to, and in a lecture, I have to take notes or it goes in one ear and out the other.

A lot of the problem is that it's not that I forget what someone told me, it's that I never committed it to memory in the first place. Maybe you are the same.

If you learn better visually, and you do want to get better at your games, then maybe you should read about poker. I found Poker for Dummies on Amazon. I'm sure there are lots of other books as well. Also, the intricacies of poker or any other strategy game take time to master. Likely the other people you are playing with have been doing it longer, and they have forgotten that they made mistakes at first.

Also, sometimes in adult life we get into a rut where we do the same things over and over, not having to learn anything new. Your brain works better when it's used to learning, to working, so if this is the first "new" thing you've done in a while, you might have gotten a little rusty. No biggie; just work at it. It's not all that important if you lose a game of cards, but it is important that we keep our brains active as we age. That is, it's not the destination, it's the journey.
post #8 of 22
I am like you Candie - I have to be taught over and over how to play cards, I am really bad at them - which is why I don't bother playing. Please don't let people make you think there is something wrong with you. You are at teachers college right? I am sure if there was a learning problem, it would have been discovered a long time ago.

I just think its you and cards, you don't match. Neither do I. I play better at board games.
post #9 of 22
Candie i'm not thick by any means, but if i have to learn something such as any new software on the computers at work i tell them to give me it in dummy fashion, and i mean dummy fashion!.

Don't give me a book of instructions, sit down and tell me and i'll write the instructions down my way.

So imagine what i'd be like at playing poker?!. They'd be throwing me out the door because id be forever asking what this meant and what do i do with this card etc...

And i'm with you Kellye, give me monopoly anytime!
post #10 of 22
I agree that maybe your husband is over reacting. I wouldn't think it is much to be concerned about if you never learn how to play cards. I have had the same problem with people trying to explain the rules of football to me.
post #11 of 22
I have the EXACT same problem! MINE is worse though as, especially since i have been fired from the last 3 jobs for being too STUPID< TOO SLOW> I get so frightened when I try to learn my mind goes blank.

I am NOW trying to learn how to use a MAC computer as shortly I will be getting one and it brings me right back to when I first got the internet and was so afraid. Back then I was told to email my brother soon as I got home from Church and I SWEAR I asked everyone I knew how to do it.

Your husband needs to chll out! Try laughing, when he gets upset and maybe tell him you have OLD TIMERS DIEASE! Maybe then they all will laugh and things will be OK>

There IS a book called Poker for dummies! Maybe that could help you in this situation! Good luck!

BTW you h;ve NO IDEA how wonderful it is to know I am not alone in the learning new things!
post #12 of 22
Ugh! No worries...I don't think you have a learning disability. I mean, unless you see a pattern when people verbally explain things to you (class lecture, etc) you have a hard time coping. But like the above posts said, if you did have a DL, all a test would tell you is that you have one. There's no pills or anything to take. All you have to do, maybe is suggest sitting out one game and observe before you play. Or maybe poker just isn't your thing.
I know that I'm terrible at Euchre. My BF doesn't understand and thinks its the easiest game to learn/play. I just can't seem to get it. But I can get other games, like pinocchle, war, poker, etc.
post #13 of 22
DH's family is a big bunch of card players. Personally I do not like playing cards one of the reasons is they play for hours and hours. The are lots more experienced so I don't learn cause I don't want to learn. That's my excuse and I'm sticking with it. BTW they play sheepshead!!
post #14 of 22
Oh, this is so real to me! Years ago, when dh and I were first together, he was teaching me and his little brother, who happens to be deaf, a card game. DH would talk and talk to me, trying to explain it. Then he would sign something to his brother for about 10 seconds. Finally I asked why is it taking so long to explain to me, but you only sign a little bit to Ben? He said, he's quick, he will pick it up!

Initially I thought he was saying Ben was smarter than I am. Later I realized that as a deaf person, Ben takes in a lot non verbally. I am excessively verbal at times. So while Ben was smarter at that card game, in most situations I am very smart.

You have had lots of good advice here. If the only problem in learning is learning card games from your dh...maybe he needs to adjust his teaching style. Can you sit together at home, just you and dh, and get extra pointers? I am pretty sure my dh taught me poker stategy by playing for a few hours with us both showing each other all our cards. Felt like he was teaching a 2 year old, I'm sure, but it helped me so much.
post #15 of 22
Thread Starter 
Wow! Thank you all for the responses. My friend Aaron is going to walk me through it some time during the week before the next game. I feel confident that he can teach me one-on-one because he is the one that is usually real patient with me when we are actually playing. I do think my husband is overreacting, but he is a perfectionist so I don't think of it--just use to it, I guess.

Regarding all of this, I am not the type of person to bring up current issues and state my opinion in many matters, and he also said that I should really get involved in the discussions more when we go out with our group any other time than just poker night because I would enjoy myself a lot more--especially since I've been pretty depressed for the last month or so. Last night was awesome, and I tried being more involved and it really did work. I haven't had such a great time in a long time! Oh yeah...I am not going to get tested for a learning disability. I know that I am easily distracted and I basically have to teach myself to stay focused. Thanks for all the advice!
post #16 of 22
I have A. D. D., adimittedly a mild form of it, but I have trouble understanding and learning things, unless it is explained to me in a very basic way. I must SEE it being down, before I can understand and learn it, and I MUST undertand it before I can learn it. The way most people explain things, is for people who grasp things easily, and I noticed that most people don't have the patience to explain things to you, slowly and clearly. My best way of learning something is to have someone walk me through it. Once I've been walked through something, and once I understand exactly why you do the steps you do, in order to come to the end objective, I've learned it for life.
post #17 of 22
If your "Magic" is the one I'm thinking of.... that's a hard game... not easy to understand in the least for anyone!
post #18 of 22
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by HopeHacker
I have A. D. D., adimittedly a mild form of it, but I have trouble understanding and learning things, unless it is explained to me in a very basic way. I must SEE it being down, before I can understand and learn it, and I MUST undertand it before I can learn it. The way most people explain things, is for people who grasp things easily, and I noticed that most people don't have the patience to explain things to you, slowly and clearly. My best way of learning something is to have someone walk me through it. Once I've been walked through something, and once I understand exactly why you do the steps you do, in order to come to the end objective, I've learned it for life.

You sound just like me. This is exactly the process I have to go through when I learn something. Also, I have to take a long time to read a chapter and I have to have no interruptions...but since I sometimes have to read at work, I manage to get some of it done there. Do you take a long time to read a chapter (say around 30 pages)? It usually takes me 30-45 minutes if not longer.
post #19 of 22
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kaleetha
If your "Magic" is the one I'm thinking of.... that's a hard game... not easy to understand in the least for anyone!

Yes, it's very complex. I really enjoy it when I know what I am doing...but I have to remind my husband I don't know much about it only playing the game about 5 times. *sigh*
post #20 of 22
I don't have trouble reading, as long as it's an interesting topic for me. I can read novels, while I'm working. However, you give me something technical and or boring to read, and I'll have to keep going over and over it, because I just can't get it the first time around
post #21 of 22
Quote:
Originally Posted by HopeHacker
I don't have trouble reading, as long as it's an interesting topic for me. I can read novels, while I'm working. However, you give me something technical and or boring to read, and I'll have to keep going over and over it, because I just can't get it the first time around
Hope, you probably are (and, I think, Candie and Dori, too) a kinesthetic learner. I think it's probably less a symptom of ADD and more just a function of your preferred learning style. People learn in all different ways, and the ways that we were taught in school aren't always the best way for everyone.

I'm a kinesthetic learner, too, and I'm neither ADD or learning disabled or dumb. We tend to learn best by DOING something instead of listening or seeing. Unfortunately, the traditional learning methods like listening to a speech or reading a manual just don't work very well for us. I've learned that I tend to do better if I can find a way to do something active while I'm trying to learn in a more traditional way...like writing extensive notes. I find if I WRITE something down it sticks with me, whereas if I just read it it doesn't.

(And, Candie, it tends to take kinesthetic learners longer to read because we just aren't engaged by dry reading...so our mind tends to wander and it takes us longer to get through it.)
post #22 of 22
Caprice, don't worry, you have gotten much farther with poker than I ever could! It's just too much, there are too many rules, too many game styles-I don't have the patience for it.
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