Ok, I need some input. I have to write an essay that either tells about myself, or talks about my feelings of writings for my Advanced Creative Writing class. Why I'm taking an Advanced class when I have no beginner experience, I don't know. Our unit is about the personal essay. It's due tomorrow, and I'd love to have some input. Have at me!
(Can't believe I'm posting this!) I'll add a poll in case you want to anonymously tell me that it's terrible!
NO TITLE YET! SUGGESTIONS WELCOME!
I am terrified of writing. Which is not to say that Iâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]ve never written. I think just about everyone has done some writing. Iâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]ve written school reports, kept a few sporadic journals, and even worked as a writer at a Public Relations firm. But Iâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]ve never truly written, in a sense that Iâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]ve never really written about myself or created something that could even remotely be considered literature or creative writing. The oddest part of my whole phobia is that I am an obsessive reader and if I could be one thing, it would be a writer. I would love to write things that people want to read. To me, writing would combine all of my greatest loves – solitude, creation, exploration. On the other hand, I just donâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]t know what to write about. I canâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]t imagine creating the depth of reality I find in the books I love, or being able to expose my own self to the world in more autobiographical works, or most of all, developing the organization of thought necessary for either.
\tEven this, now, is a struggle. The thought of writing about myself – what a nightmare! I suppose itâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]s a good way to get to know yourself, a kind of deliberate and structured introspection. But Iâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]m not so sure I really want to study myself so deeply. Iâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]m sure we all have a mental image of ourselves, inside our heads, that is probably very unrealistic. Itâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]s like when you see yourself in pictures, how you look so different than what you imagine you look like. I fear that in writing deep things about my thoughts and feelings, I just might discover I donâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]t like myself at all! And that would be an awful thing! I donâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]t mean to say I donâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]t like myself; on the contrary, I like myself a lot! My fear is that too much self-exploration might lead to discoveries that my thoughts, ideas, or even me as a whole is really strange or more self-centered in a less positive way than I view my self-centeredness currently.
\tAnd worse, to be an autobiographical author, Iâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]d have to share these writings with others. Otherwise, it would just be a journal and I wouldnâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]t be an author at all. I donâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]t know if itâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]s about how I was raised or where it comes from, but I am a deeply private person. I love to talk and debate and generally be sociable, but I choose what to talk about, when and with whom I share. I worry that my thoughts are odd, my fears make no sense, that I cannot rationally explain many of my ideas and beliefs. I think, well, I hope that this is normal. But how can anyone really know what is normal? No one can get inside anyone elseâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]s head, and really know how and what they think and feel, so we really only know what other people are willing to share with us.
\tOn the other hand, I do want to know if others feel the same way as I do about different things. The tricky part is, how do you find that out safely? Without exposing your stupidity, how do you find out about everybody elseâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]s thoughts? I think thatâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]s what the essayist does, expose themselves and their innermost thoughts not only as a means of understanding themselves, but as a means of finding out what goes on in othersâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji] minds. In peopleâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]s reactions to their essays, hopefully reactions of chuckles, smiles and phrases of agreement, the essayist finds out that others feel the same, share the same fears, self-doubts, bizarre theories, and whatnot. But how does the essayist come to the point where they can bare these private thoughts in public, to complete strangers, and simply wait to find out if they are alone in their ideas or not?
\tAnd now look where Iâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]ve ended up. I did want to write a more personal essay, and I have started a few. In fact, this essay started out to be much more personal, but I ended up deleting a lot of it because it started to become strange and not make much sense. I began this essay as a personal essay that starts out on why I want to write and why I am afraid to write too personally, but then it got too personal, so now it has become an essay more about what I think of writing and what I hope to get out of this writing class, than an essay about myself. This isnâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]t the only essay Iâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]m writing. Like most essays that arenâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]t solely factual reports, I tend to start many drafts, repeatedly write, delete, and rewrite, as well as have several different approaches to the topic. I am still working on a more personal essay, and at some point, I hope to develop it to a point where I stop changing it and might even share it. I think that I definitely need practice, a little toughening of the skin when it comes to self-disclosure and sharing of my personal thoughts. Or maybe I should just develop a good pseudonym and a disguise!
(Can't believe I'm posting this!) I'll add a poll in case you want to anonymously tell me that it's terrible!
NO TITLE YET! SUGGESTIONS WELCOME!
I am terrified of writing. Which is not to say that Iâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]ve never written. I think just about everyone has done some writing. Iâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]ve written school reports, kept a few sporadic journals, and even worked as a writer at a Public Relations firm. But Iâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]ve never truly written, in a sense that Iâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]ve never really written about myself or created something that could even remotely be considered literature or creative writing. The oddest part of my whole phobia is that I am an obsessive reader and if I could be one thing, it would be a writer. I would love to write things that people want to read. To me, writing would combine all of my greatest loves – solitude, creation, exploration. On the other hand, I just donâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]t know what to write about. I canâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]t imagine creating the depth of reality I find in the books I love, or being able to expose my own self to the world in more autobiographical works, or most of all, developing the organization of thought necessary for either.
\tEven this, now, is a struggle. The thought of writing about myself – what a nightmare! I suppose itâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]s a good way to get to know yourself, a kind of deliberate and structured introspection. But Iâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]m not so sure I really want to study myself so deeply. Iâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]m sure we all have a mental image of ourselves, inside our heads, that is probably very unrealistic. Itâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]s like when you see yourself in pictures, how you look so different than what you imagine you look like. I fear that in writing deep things about my thoughts and feelings, I just might discover I donâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]t like myself at all! And that would be an awful thing! I donâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]t mean to say I donâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]t like myself; on the contrary, I like myself a lot! My fear is that too much self-exploration might lead to discoveries that my thoughts, ideas, or even me as a whole is really strange or more self-centered in a less positive way than I view my self-centeredness currently.
\tAnd worse, to be an autobiographical author, Iâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]d have to share these writings with others. Otherwise, it would just be a journal and I wouldnâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]t be an author at all. I donâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]t know if itâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]s about how I was raised or where it comes from, but I am a deeply private person. I love to talk and debate and generally be sociable, but I choose what to talk about, when and with whom I share. I worry that my thoughts are odd, my fears make no sense, that I cannot rationally explain many of my ideas and beliefs. I think, well, I hope that this is normal. But how can anyone really know what is normal? No one can get inside anyone elseâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]s head, and really know how and what they think and feel, so we really only know what other people are willing to share with us.
\tOn the other hand, I do want to know if others feel the same way as I do about different things. The tricky part is, how do you find that out safely? Without exposing your stupidity, how do you find out about everybody elseâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]s thoughts? I think thatâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]s what the essayist does, expose themselves and their innermost thoughts not only as a means of understanding themselves, but as a means of finding out what goes on in othersâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji] minds. In peopleâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]s reactions to their essays, hopefully reactions of chuckles, smiles and phrases of agreement, the essayist finds out that others feel the same, share the same fears, self-doubts, bizarre theories, and whatnot. But how does the essayist come to the point where they can bare these private thoughts in public, to complete strangers, and simply wait to find out if they are alone in their ideas or not?
\tAnd now look where Iâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]ve ended up. I did want to write a more personal essay, and I have started a few. In fact, this essay started out to be much more personal, but I ended up deleting a lot of it because it started to become strange and not make much sense. I began this essay as a personal essay that starts out on why I want to write and why I am afraid to write too personally, but then it got too personal, so now it has become an essay more about what I think of writing and what I hope to get out of this writing class, than an essay about myself. This isnâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]t the only essay Iâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]m writing. Like most essays that arenâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]t solely factual reports, I tend to start many drafts, repeatedly write, delete, and rewrite, as well as have several different approaches to the topic. I am still working on a more personal essay, and at some point, I hope to develop it to a point where I stop changing it and might even share it. I think that I definitely need practice, a little toughening of the skin when it comes to self-disclosure and sharing of my personal thoughts. Or maybe I should just develop a good pseudonym and a disguise!