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My neighbour is driving me INSANE...need advice!! (Long rant)

post #1 of 16
Thread Starter 
Hi All,

I am in need of some major advice today. My downstairs neighbour is driving me CRAZY complaining about how much noise my furbabies are making in the mornings...and the kicker is they are not even making THAT much noise!! Grrr...

*Sigh*...I'll start from the beginning to show how neurotic (sp?) he's being...

We moved in our apartment in July '05, it's a duplex turned into apartments (which means the insulation between floors is not that great), we only had Pepper then and she was pretty quiet being on her own and all. We got Pixie in August '05. It wasn't until the end of September that the kittes started playing together. That's when the wrestling started, and we specifically asked our downstairs neighbours "R" and "M" if they have heard the cats, if they were making too muc noise. Both said no they've never heard the cats playing. Well a couple of weeks later (first of October) I pass "R" going out the door as I'm coming in and he mentions that he heard a thump in the mornings. I quickly apologized about that and he said "...don't worry about it..." b/c heis a light sleeper. That was fine. About a week and a half later he mentions in passing again that he's still hearing this thump noise. Again I apologized about that (I was mortified), I explained I wasn't sure if it was me or the cats but either way I'd take care of it (I tend to walk heavy even thought I'm only 100lbs you'd swear I was 500lbs the way I walk ). Again, the said "...don't worry about it..." b/c he had himself conditioned to wake up early now he'd just get use to it.

The rest of October passed, November passed, the first week of December more complaints. I thought well all is well. HA, was I wrong. The second week of December he came up like three times in a row complaining about the cats. Demanding now, not asking me but trying to tell me that I had to move the cat's litter boxes and sratching post b/c the cats scratching on the post and digging in their boxes was waking him up in the mornings and that I had to lock my cats out of the spare room b/c them jumping off the bed was causing the thump noise. I couldn't believe the nerve of this guy! I told him, very politely I might add, that I couldn't move the cat's litter boxes b/c there was no where else appropriate to put them (I'm under the belief that my kitties deserve privacy as much as we do), that the scratching post was only in there temporarily, and that I was NOT going to lock the cats out of "their" room or any other room in my apartment. I did say I would buy a rug as soon as I could (so of course since then there's been some things come up $ wise that's been really expensive). So a few days passed without "R" coming up, I was starting to relax again. Then one morning up he comes, and it was morning when I swear the cats weren't making any noise. He started the usual way, saying how the cats are thumping around the room, blah, blah. And I told him that there wasn't much I could do right now, I'm going to get a rug as soon as possible, etc. Then he started to raise his voice at me, I just gave him this look and said I'll try and keep them quiet and I basically shut the door in his face. I was not going to stand there and let him yell at me.

After that I knew he wouldn't let up so over the next week or so I kept a close on the cats and I also monitered when they used their box, they always did their business before 6:30 a.m. So I started shutting the door to the spare room at 6:30 a.m., just until 7:00 a.m. b/c "R" told me himself he hears the cats between 6:30 - 7:00 a.m. and it bothered him so much b/c he gets up for work at 7:00 a.m. and was losing a half an hours sleep. I've been doing this since the 3rd of January and he hadn't come up complainig. So I thought "WOW" ..."RIGHT ON"...this is working (but I'm still planning on getting a rug). I bothered me that I had to close the door on my kittes and but in the long run it saved me from having to deal with "R". Well this morning guess who comes up before we're even up for work?!? "R" of course! Complaining that the cats were making noise again. I was like "R" I was asleep, he said well I was too! I can't control what my cats do when I'm sleeping, I can't be up all night "in case" they make noise, they didn't wake me up but they woke him up!?! Again he said you have to get a rug and before I could even get out that I have been closing the door and eveything trying to make it quieter for HIM! He was like, I'll buy you guys a rug if I have you have specific colour you want? I was couldn't believe it! I was stunned! All I could get out was I don't really care and he left. All I know is if he comes up with a rug, I'm not taking it and I'll get my own when I can afford it.

The best part yet is that, his roomate "M" told me himself that "R" is difficult and totally anal retentative (sp?). When "M" first moved in, "R" complained that when "M" shut the door to leave for work, it was waking him up. And that when he locked the door it was too loud, that woke him up too! I couldn't believe it! I didn't feel so bad then, but I just don't want "R" calling our landlord and complaining about my cats! My landlord is aware I have two cats and has absolutely no problem with it, they actually have a cat of their own. I have a hunch that the landlord is aware of what "R" is like b/c the last time he dropped by to see how things were going he asked if any below us ("R" or "M") had asked about noise b/c only the hallway has carpet, he said if that happens it'd be best to buy a rug and help absorb the noises. It's just that "R" has been a tenant there for like 10 years so he knows the landlord better than I do and we've only been there for like 6 months. We love this apartment and the area and don't want to leave.

I am debating on call my landlord myself and explaining the situation so he's aware of what is going on. I'm not going to complain about "R" per say, just let him know that it's getting to the point that "R" is coming up to complain before we're even awake (that's bit much) and that we are actually trying to do something about the noise. I don't know if "R" has called the landlord himself or not b/c I haven't received a call about it.

So what do everyone think? Should I call the landlord to let him know what's going on? Or should I deal with "R" myself, i.e. blast him when or if he comes up complaining again, by letting him know I'm actually trying to do something about the noise and let him know he's being a bit ridiculous (sp?)? It's coming to the point where I'm soon going to SNAP!
post #2 of 16
If he is bothering you that much, I really think that you definitely should call the landlord and let him know about this. I guess it isn't exactly "R"'s fault if he has that problem, but I can see it's still EXTREMELY annoying. I'm thinking that maybe it might be best to get a different apartment as soon as you have the money, if you can ever afford to & if you are willing to. If they have been there that long, M and R, I don't think they are planning on moving anytime soon. And if he keeps getting on your nerves and coming up to yell at you, maybe you should actually 'complain' to the landlord....You do have a good reason to. Plus, he might be sympathetic with you and understand, since he has a cat also.

post #3 of 16
I would definitely talk to the landlord. That way you'll have already explained the situation clearly when you aren't angry if it comes to a head (like it seems it's going to). I don't think blasting him yourself is a good idea because it might just cause more problems in the future.

It seems like part of this guy's problem is he likes to make other people upset, so if you can hold your cool and deal with him rationally then so much the better. And is there a way you can avoid him? I.e. "not" be there if he comes up to complain, time your comings and goings so you don't run into him? If you don't have to deal with him directly, then you will probably feel better.

It sounds like this guy is a bit nutty. I hope things get better for you really fast!
post #4 of 16
Yes, talking to the landlord is a good idea. Cover your butt-let him know you are trying. Some people are control freaks who will never be happy.
post #5 of 16
How loud can a cat pooping be?! I have the litter tray in ym room and it doesnt even wake me up (unless its a stinky!)

I'd ask the other neighbour honestly if the noise is a bother and try to gauge if its an honest problem.
post #6 of 16
Originally Posted by Kaleetha
It seems like part of this guy's problem is he likes to make other people upset, so if you can hold your cool and deal with him rationally then so much the better.

I totally agree. I learned working in retail that when a customer is ranting at you - trying to get you upset, the nicer you are to them, the more frustrated they become... because they can't 'get to you'. So the next time he comes up, be as nice as you can.

I also agree that talking to the landlord would be a good idea. That way if R does call - he'll already have your side of the story.
post #7 of 16
Awww, your poor kitties! I cannot see how cats could make that much noise. Now, I live on the second floor and have had a gentleman living above me before who had two cats and they would run a lot and play and they NEVER bothered me, and are floors are very thin. Then we had a family living above me with kids and that drove me totally insane! I never complained about the man with the cats (who lived there for three years) but I did complain numerous times to the landlord about the family with kids. So I do understand what it's like to have trouble living with other's in a apartment building and the noise that can go with it. I can't see where cats would be a problem though with noise. But then again it could be because I'm just more tolerant to cats and not kids, and kids weigh a lot more!

I sure hope you work everything out and can stay in your apartment if your happy there.
post #8 of 16
I wonder if there's another empty apt in your complex that you could move to, perhaps a ground floor apt? Maybe you could ask the landlord if one opened up if you could move into it since obviously you like where you live and R isn't going anywhere if he's lived there that long. Of course, you wouldn't want one directly beside R, it'd probably be worse! Probably just trying to get at you so you'd move and leave the apt above him empty.

I once had an apt where after I'd lived there quietly for three years the elderly (and quite hard of hearing) guy downstairs suddenly decided to complain about ME being loud several times. The last time he complained about the noise when I wasn't even at home, nothing was on & my apt was EMPTY (no animals even!) and the landlord threatened to kick me out and wouldn't even believe that it wasn't me, so I feel your pain!
post #9 of 16
I would kindly suggest to him that he get a white noise machine instead of buying you a carpet. My downstairs neighbors came up one day ranting and raving about my husband's music and told us we were doing it vindictively b/c we had a conflict with her boyfriend the first day we moved in. I would also talk to the landlord and tell them that this guy is harassing you.
post #10 of 16
Thread Starter 
Thanks you guys! My bf and I discussed too and we came to the same conclusion...that I should call the landlord to let him know what's going on. I'm going to make it clear when I call that I'm not calling to complain about "R", but just to let him know what's going on in case "R" calls complaining about the cats. I was just waiting this morning for him to come up but he didn't and here I was just waiting...with my "speech" all worked out...
post #11 of 16
I would buy him a cannister of earplugs. Walgreens has a cute little plastic one with about 100 earplugs in it. Put it in a gift bag and hang it on his door with a nice note. Since he is such an anal retentive control freak, this will make him crazy, but it is nothing he can complain about.
post #12 of 16
especially when they are going to the bathroom. unless your walls are paper thin and your floors are rotting out i personally do not see what his problem is. if he persists with these accusations you really should talk to your landlord about harrassment and possible future actions that you could do against him and your neighbor. even if you have to leave you could get an attorney. i hate to see it come to that, but you have to protect yourself from people like that. he is a control freak and sounds unstable. not only that but you could take the cats out for the day or something and see if he still complains about them. you could then happily inform him that they are gone. what he is doing is wrong and it is considered a form of harrassment and he can be dealt with in a legal way. i really wish you luck! i think everyone in there lifetime has some dumb neighbor they have to put up with.
post #13 of 16
I can't imagine why this idiot would ever live in an apartment. There are noises associated with apartment living- that is a given. He obviously likes to complain and he probably took your earlier question about whether the cats were too loud as being an invitation to complain. I would document every complaint that he makes. It's good you are talking to the landlord. You do need to get to the landlord first. Just make sure you document everything.
post #14 of 16
yeah i think you should get a diary and keep a log of every time he harrasses you,after all there is no law against noise from "everyday life and the noises made as a result of everyday living"noise is only a problem if it is excessively loud,

so he has seen someone he can bother and moan to,this sad man is harrassing you,
you must report it to your landlord,if he thinks he can do this to you,the situation might even get worse if he thinks you are a walk over.
post #15 of 16
I dealt with a similar problem in the first apartment I lived in, I was on the ground floor and the people above me were very very loud, ALL THE TIME. The first time we had music going that wasn't even that loud, the guy came downstairs and demanded we turned it down. But them on the other hand, walked very heavily, like they were stomping, screeched and fought at the top of their lungs. One night I was home alone and could hear the man and a woman voice fighting, he was yelling and she was crying and it sounded like he was beating her up. I called the police and they came by and checked them out. That still didn't quiet them down. I don't know how many times I literally banged on the ceiling with the broom. I complained to the landlord but she simply said she knew the people and she "vouched" for them. How infuriating! Luckily I no longer live there.
I'm not sure what to do other than maybe get a taperecorder and record when he comes upstairs and play it for your landlord and just explain the situation without every really "complaining" about it.
post #16 of 16
Thread Starter 
He obviously likes to complain and he probably took your earlier question about whether the cats were too loud as being an invitation to complain

I've never thought of that before, you are probably right! I mean I was just trying to be a good neighbour, I don't want anything we do to bother or interrupt anyone else's life but obviously he doens't have the same consideration...

yeah i think you should get a diary and keep a log of every time he harrasses you,after all there is no law against noise from "everyday life and the noises made as a result of everyday living"noise is only a problem if it is excessively loud

I would of never of thought of something like that...I'm defintely going to start doing that! Thanks for the great idea!
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