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Im going to explode!!!!!

post #1 of 14
Thread Starter 
Hi,
I really need to get this out and I know it's been gone over and gone over a million times before but if I don't say something on here then I'm going to seriously fall out with someone at work.
Someone I work with is moving house with her partner and they have a cat who they don't want anymore as he is 'not affectionate enough'... they want to leave him to whoever takes their house. I have had the conversation with her and got annoyed and left it but someone else just brought it up and tried to involve me again so I said 'I'm not getting involved in this conversation as I'll just get annoyed' and then someone else mentioned the damage cats on her street had been doing to her gate on her driveway and I said I agreed it wasn't fair and I'd get frustrated too and the owners should keep their cats indoors.
Anyway the person who is moving house said 'keeping your cats inside is cruel and I would never do that' in a very very nasty tone.
I told her my cats are fine and don't get out (which she already knew) and she just wouldnt keep hers inside because he'd be in the way. She went on to say something else and now Ive had to walk away because I'm boiling. I know its an age old debate and everyone has their own opinions, which is fine, but there was no need for her to dig right at me like that!
I feel like all this time she's let me talk about my cats and pretended to care and now months down the line she's saying it's cruel! This probably makes no sense to anyone but I am just so angry at the minute. If you had been here you'd know what I mean.
Have an opinion but don't say I am cruel for having mine. aaaarrrgggh.
phew I feel a bit better now, this has prevented me from walking back over to her and starting the whole thing back up again.
post #2 of 14
Some people believe that their opinion is the only possible opnion to have and won't listen to another's point of view. She sounds really close minded to me. I'd be annoyed as well!
post #3 of 14
Thread Starter 
Thats the thing she listened to me go on and on about how we try so hard to entertain our 2 cats and make sure they never get bored and want to know what goes on outside, and today she decides to say what I do is cruel...
Yet she's the one who cannot be bothered with her cat? I feel like saying maybe he would be better off if she gave him to somebody who'd love him.
I suppose Im just annoyed as I feel I work so hard with my cats and she is the first person Ive come up against that has ever said it's cruel.
post #4 of 14
Some people...
post #5 of 14
Ooooh she's sounds the sort i'd love a debate with!!

When i asked my vet if it was cruel he said because ive kept them indoors from an early age they didn't know any different, so no it wasn't, plus keeping them indoors has it's bonuses, such as not getting hit by cars, getting into fights with other cats etc....

She's probably trying to rub you up the wrong way on purpose, so tell her to keep her opinions on YOUR cats to herself!!!
post #6 of 14
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by rosiemac
Ooooh she's sounds the sort i'd love a debate with!!

When i asked my vet if it was cruel he said because ive kept them indoors from an early age they didn't know any different, so no it wasn't, plus keeping them indoors has it's bonuses, such as not getting hit by cars, getting into fights with other cats etc....

She's probably trying to rub you up the wrong way on purpose, so tell her to keep her opinions on YOUR cats to herself!!!
Exactly! We got Sleeves when he was 6 weeks old and Nismo at 8 weeks and neither had ever been outside so they won't miss it. And she also knows that if we manage to move house this year we will build an enclosure in the garden for the summer time.
I think she was definately testing the water to see how heated she could get me and it worked which I'm sort of ashamed to say...
She is just like that though, she's 34 and behaves like a spoilt 16 year old.
post #7 of 14
At the end of the day your only human so it's only natural that your chewed up inside, but try and not let her get to you because if she gets her kicks by getting people worked up then i feel sorry for her, really i do.

At least here she's out voted by us lot!
post #8 of 14
Actually, it sounds to me like cognitive dissonance . She feels guilty as she knows that leaving her cat is evil and so she has to pick another "cause to champion" making her feel and sound like she is truly ethical. As you are an obvious cat-lover, she is simply putting herself at the same level as you...
Ie, Oh, see how much I care about cats as well. I may do this but I would NEVER do this.

Some people need to do this for their conscience's sake. She is doing this to look good to others but primarily its a self-preservation tactic.

(My sister is an expert at it so I know how you feel).
post #9 of 14
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Loveysmummy
Actually, it sounds to me like cognitive dissonance . She feels guilty as she knows that leaving her cat is evil and so she has to pick another "cause to champion" making her feel and sound like she is truly ethical. As you are an obvious cat-lover, she is simply putting herself at the same level as you...
Ie, Oh, see how much I care about cats as well. I may do this but I would NEVER do this.

Some people need to do this for their conscience's sake. She is doing this to look good to others but primarily its a self-preservation tactic.

(My sister is an expert at it so I know how you feel).
Mmmm you could have hit the nail on the head. She's trying to make what she's doing sound less wrong by putting the attention on me...
post #10 of 14
If you really want to bother her and wake her up at the same time, continually ask questions about her situation...
Ie "So, are these people that are moving into your house cat lovers?" or "Are you going to go back and visit your cat after you leave it behind?" or " Are you still going to be responsible for its vet care since its your responsibility?"...
Stuff like that.. It quiets my sister quickly when she begins to get righteous about her animals (as she has often left animals behind and then acts like a martyr about it).

I usually ask her when she last visited her cats.. Then not another peep for a good while.
post #11 of 14
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Loveysmummy
If you really want to bother her and wake her up at the same time, continually ask questions about her situation...
Ie "So, are these people that are moving into your house cat lovers?" or "Are you going to go back and visit your cat after you leave it behind?" or " Are you still going to be responsible for its vet care since its your responsibility?"...
Stuff like that.. It quiets my sister quickly when she begins to get righteous about her animals (as she has often left animals behind and then acts like a martyr about it).

I usually ask her when she last visited her cats.. Then not another peep for a good while.
She hasnt even sold her house yet, it only went on the market last week so my point is, what if the new owners don't want him? what will happen to him?
post #12 of 14
Quote:
Originally Posted by Loveysmummy
If you really want to bother her and wake her up at the same time, continually ask questions about her situation...
Ie "So, are these people that are moving into your house cat lovers?" or "Are you going to go back and visit your cat after you leave it behind?" or " Are you still going to be responsible for its vet care since its your responsibility?"...
Stuff like that.. It quiets my sister quickly when she begins to get righteous about her animals (as she has often left animals behind and then acts like a martyr about it).

I usually ask her when she last visited her cats.. Then not another peep for a good while.

I agree with this poster. If she again said anything about me being cruel for keeping my cats inside, I'd be really, really tempted to reply that it was far less cruel than abandoning my cats if I moved. She sounds like an awful person.
post #13 of 14
I hate self righteous people because they are almost always hypocrates.
post #14 of 14
You know your a good pet owner so don't let her get to you.
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