HELP or my cat will be finding a new home!!!

Hi there,

I'm new to the forums but am desperate for some help. My wife and I picked out a 4 year old female gray/white cat from our local shelter about 3 weeks ago. She (Cleo is her name) was a stray on the streets of Pittsburgh. By her thin looks and slightly dirty stained paws (white fur) it looked like she spent at least a few weeks out there. She had been in the shelter for about 10 days prior to us taking her home. Anyway, she came home with a respiratory cold, which we quickly addressed with our vet who gave us medication for her. Through the first two weeks of having her in the house, she slept a lot - rarely being awake for more than a half hour at a time and sleeping for as long as 7 or 8 hours at a time. We attributed this mostly to being sick. In the last week however, she has come around and seems to be 100% healthy.

Let me give you some background now. My wife is a major cat lover and comes from her parents house where she grew up and lived with 3 cats. She couldn't wait to get this one and loves her to death. I have never owned a cat, and really not had much more experience with them other than to interact with the 3 that she/her parents live with. I've been very open minded about getting a cat for us and am actually enjoying having Cleo around - she's great, most of the time. She is a very sweet and loving cat, who appears to fear nothing and is very curious. She warmed right up to us and to our house (we broke her in slowly, a room at a time). She does not hesitate to jump up on our laps (which my wife loves of course) and is always looking for attention. Strange thing about her - she NEVER wants to play, at all and she could care less about cat nip. We keep her fed, give her treats, and give her all of the attention that we can possibly give her.

Now for the problem, she is incredibly rebellious after we go to bed at night or when we might have to ignore her when she wants our attention. It started out with scratching the couch (she only does it when we ignore her - it's not a claw maintenance thing). We've corrected her with a spray bottle and yelled at her to stop. We shown her her scratch post, but she never uses it. From there, it escalated into carpet soiling (even though she is well trained to use the litter box, as is evident by her actions when we are awake!). Now she has begun scratching at doors and is opening kitchen cabinets, room closets, crying in the middle of the night, etc. Last night she was literally banging on the cabinet doors, on top of the refridgerator (she never even attempts to get onto the kitchen counter tops, let alone the fridge, when we are awake during the day). It just doesn't stop and she'll continue to do it even after corrected. As far as frequency of this behavior? Pretty much every night now since she's been healthy. She does not do these things, to our knowledge, while we are not home. It only seems to be when we are home and having to ignore her. My job involves rotating shifts, and I have been home during the day since we got her - my wife is home at night with her - so it's not like Cleo is home by herself all day either.

Because of all of this, it's tough to sleep at night, not knowing what she's going to do next. We're a young couple, just getting started and are trying to update our house/buy new furniture and cannot deal with the potential of her tearing our house apart. What makes it so incredibly difficult to deal with is her pleasant, loving personality that we see during the day. We both agree that we have never met a cat so friendly and loving - which is what makes this so difficult to understand and deal with.

Does anyone have any suggestions on how to deal with this? As of last night's incident, I was ready to take her back to the shelter this morning - but we both really want to keep her. Please help!

Thanks in advance!
Mike

Please don't take her back. Is she spayed? Please also put away the squirt bottle and don't yell at her anymore. Yelling causes cats to stress out, stress causes them to usually have UTI because the bladder is the target organ for stress. Your cat sounds ill and should go to the vet first and foremost to rule out illness.

Mike...first, I would take your cat in to see whether she has a UTI (Urinary Tract infective) which are painful and can cause litterbox avoidance.

Here is a good article on teaching cats to scratch appropriately:

http://www.pawschicago.org/PetCare/catscratching.htm

Also...given her history as a stray, I'm not surprized that she wants attention at all hours. Some ideas to try: food right before you go to bed, some type of activity (I know you said she doesn't like toys...but what about string...what about a feather toy) find something that you can engage her in for 30 minutes of intense "play".

Another thing...I know this is going to be hard...but what about "ignoring" her....I know she is trying to get your attention..but when you give her negative attention...perhaps she is reading that as better than no attention at all.

An option (although one that I would only use as a last resort) is to confine her during the night to one room. That is what my parents did with our cat who loved to "explore" during the evenings. They used the laundry room as the cat room and at night...there was a litterbox and food/water in that room. Again..it isn't ideal...but if you love this cat and there are no other solutions proposed...you could try it.

Katie

Originally Posted by hissy

Please don't take her back. Is she spayed? Please also put away the squirt bottle and don't yell at her anymore. Yelling causes cats to stress out, stress causes them to usually have UTI because the bladder is the target organ for stress. Your cat sounds ill and should go to the vet first and foremost to rule out illness.

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Thanks for the quick reply! Yes, she is spayed. If you don't mind me asking, what illness could cause such affectionate, normal behavior during the day yet such rebellion at night??? Thanks again!

Cats are nocturnal creatures. They start getting really active at dusk. She may be acting out out of boredom. Does she have a lot of toes? Activities to keep her entertained. You may want to try have a really good play session right before bed to get her tired out. After awhile this will switch her sleeping/playing schedule more into line with your hours. When she starts being rebellious you could try distracting her with a toy, string etc.

Please don't get rid of her. You've done a wonderful thing rescuing a kitty. Don't give up yet!

You know what would help tremendously with the need for constant attention?

Getting another cat.

My cat, Leo, has separation anxiety...sounds like this might be the case here, too. It sounds like she is DESPERATELY trying to get your attention. When I added my 2nd cat, all of the anooying behavior and even the attacks (that he was executing to initiate play with me) stopped virtually immediately.

Another thing that worked moderately well was to play really hard with him around dinner time...that's when they start getting active....or I tried to keep him up during the day. That way, he was all tired out at night!

Your kitty may be experiencing love and affection for the first time in her life, and will therefore want it as much as she can get it! It's no surprise to me that she doesn't want to be left out alone at night. I got Opal a month ago, and she is still wanting to be held 24/7 and has no interest in playing with me or with my other cat. I don't think she got a lot of lovin' at her breeder's home, but I don't know. I just know that she likes it a lot!

I don't blame you for wanting a break. That's why I got her in the first place, because my other cat is the same way. If you love on her uninterrupted for a while before bed, maybe she will get her fill. Also, if you feed her before bed, she might be full and feel like sleeping. I've found that giving her attention for at least half an hour with no interruptions, will calm her down and she won't be so frantically trying to get loving all night.

Does she have a bed to get cuddly in on her own? If she is sleepy, she might sleep in it if you put her in it when she falls asleep. Something cuddly that makes her feel safe would be good.

You shouldn't yell at her, because she doesn't understand, and it might cause her to be frightened of loud noises. Right now she doesn't have much to be scared of, and you want to keep it like that.

good luck

Getting another cat is not always the answer. You don't want to take a behavioral problem and add to it by adding another cat, until you figure out where the problem is stemming from. This cat could be ill. She could be stressed by the waterbottle, by the yelling. When cats get stressed they get sick, and their bladder is the first thing that is affected.

They are nocturnal creatures yes, but until the health issue is ruled out, you don't move forward into the behavior plane. You must find out if the cat is sick first, because if she is, there is no amount of behavioral modification that will "cure" her.

I wouldn't give up yet. If you return her to the shelter, she may not get adopted again. I know it can be hard, but from what you tell us, she sounds like a really affectionate wonderful cat. Have you looked into Soft Paws Nail Caps? Using Soft Paws would stop the ruining of your furniture while you try to sort things out. Check out www.softpaws.com

Does she like her litter box? Twitch made a point of taking a big messy poo in the middle of my bedroom. She was letting me know that she didn't fit in her litterbox very well anymore. She had been using the box, so I never noticed she didn't like it.

Can you baby proof your house? They make clasps for cupboards. We have tacky folding chairs(I like them there ) in front of the bi-fold doors to out closets.

Before Lily, Twitch & I go to bed, I lay down on the floor with a "special" food(Roayl Canin adult-they only get it as treats, therefore it is special). I pet Lily to her hearts content while feading her a bite of food at a time. I play with her a little when she is done getting petted.

Does Cleo only want to sleep with you? Lily will scream bloody murder if she doesn't get to sleep in the bedroom with a person. She absolutely hates being alone & she knows that I am there.

There are tons of possiblities as to why Cleo does what she does. There are also many ways to prevent some of her beahaviors & to work with her. She sounds like such a wonderful kitty that I would give her many more chances before I give up.

And, like hissy said, you should look into having her checked by a vet. There was a healthy looking kitty in the HS I volunteer at that had a severe infection. She looked outwardly healthy & acted normal, so no one thought to have her checked by a vet.

Good Luck and remember, Cleo loves you!

I agree that you need more time. After you have checked out that her health is okay, a program of playing with her will reallyhelp her settle in for the night. I also suggest some cat furniture with scratching surfaces. My cat has a tree, a tunnel and a table covered in sisal with padded cubbies and little angly toys to swat at. I put severa sisal rugs down on my carpetting and played with her near them, even modeled scratching with my own nails and she took to it really well. then i stapled some to vertical surfaces so she can get a full body stretch. she hasn't scartched ever on a piece of furniture because the sisal and rope surfaces are so much more fun.

I also keep my cat in a guest suite at night so she doesn't have the run of the whle house. she has plenty of toys and her food and water and litter boxes there, plus plenty of places to climb and perch and even watch night life from the windows. she is always happy to see me in the morning but she doesn't cry and resist bedtime either.

Try everything you can to keep her and love her. And i never found that squirting her or shouting ever was a sensible thing to do. I use distraction and affection and treats to get her to comply. dogs might work with shout, but not a cat.

There are many possible explanations for your kitty's behaviour. Cats are complex and many faceted creatures that function according to their own philosophies for the most part, but are a great joy to have around when you try understand them.

First, as previously suggested, start at the vet and make sure that she doesn't have a physical problem causing her restlessness. My first thought was that she wasn't speutered, but you said that she was already fixed. I would try to verify that fact if possible and treat any illness that may be discovered.

Second, if this kitty has been on the streets on her own for a while, she may be very independent and exhibit dominant characteristics. Cat are independent creatures by nature, but make wonderful companions when you accept them for what they are. Since, she was sick for the first couple of weeks, this last week of exploration and manipulation may just be her coming to terms with her new environment. She will probably establish one special area as "hers". My top cat, Peter, has two favorite spots that he hardly ever leaves - the top of the entertainment cabinet and in front of the heating stove in the kitchen. Pete's buddy, Snow, favors the top of the freezer. Just bear with her as she settles.

Third, I would make sure that she doesn't have a physical problem or serious behavioural issues before bringing another cat into the mix. If time reveals that she is lonely and maybe yearning for feline companionship, then by all means get another kitty. Two, usually, aren't much more difficult to care for than one. And another kitty can often bring balance and harmony to your household (it did mine), but there are exceptions to every rule. Just be prepared. Adding a cat to your home is like adding a new family member.

Fourth, time, time, time... Please, don't get frustrated with your otherwise sweet kitty and give up. Just give it some time. She may settle down and be your best friend. Or she may just need time to adjust to living in a house and not on the street, fending for her very life and scratching up her next meal. You have done a good thing by giving her a good safe home! Good luck and God bless.

PS - Oh and feeding before bedtime is another good idea that I saw someone else mention here. Really, cuts down onthe night time begging.

Wow, lots of great info everyone, thank you!!! We've made another vet appointment for early next week and we're going to try many of the suggestions that you all offered. I'll be sure to post back up with her progress (hopefully) in a few days.

After reading your thoughts and keeping a closer eye on her, we're thinking a UTI might be possible. Just 10 minutes ago, she came up to her spot on the carpet (which we've now covered with aluminum foil), whined, and then went in and used her litter box. Also, just before she has soiled the carpet, we've seen her acting very strange (running to the corner of the room and then just stopping there for a few seconds and we've also seen her running around like an idiot). Maybe she's jumpy from pain from a UTI? We'll see what the vet has to say I guess.

Again, thank you all for your help and vast knowledge!

Originally Posted by Purr

Your kitty may be experiencing love and affection for the first time in her life, and will therefore want it as much as she can get it!

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That's as insightful a comment as I've ever heard on this site. I absolutely agree that illness has to be ruled out first, but I wouldn't be at all surprised if this is exactly what's going on.

For over two years, I thought my Clyde was hungry all the time, because he kept nuzzling around me so insistently at all hours, day and night... so I would dutifully go feed him a little something, and he'd be back again in less than an hour.

But now I realize that what he wants is ME! He's just an incredibly loving kitty, and wants my affection and reassurance all the time. No matter what I'm doing, he finds a way to get close, give me little kisses, and elicit some scritching and quiet kittytalk from me.

A lovely problem to have! :-)

I noticed you use the word 'correct' in reference to modifying your cat's behavior. My suggestion is that rather than trying to correct her, as you would a dog, try reinforcing good behavior. Dogs respod well to correction because of their drive to please us. Cats are motivated to please themselves, and negative reinforcement will only scare or stress the cat as the other posters have said. Your cat wants to please herself by getting your attention. What you want to do is give her attention when she is doing the right thing, thereby rewarding and reinforcing good behavior rather than punishing bad behavior. Also remember that you have really only had her a short time, so perhaps these behaviors will subside with time as well, once she is completely adjusted. Good luck, and please let us know how everything turns out.

About scratching.

You can't teach them how to use a scratch pole by force. The worst thing you can do is put a cat on top of scratch post and forse scratch it with her paws. It's like telling a professional how to do his or her job, they'll only tell you off. Same with cats. The best you can do is just put the scratch post out there in the open and leave it. Most cats will prefer it to your furniture. If they don't, you can (very patiently and lovingly) guide them to their scratch post by dragging along a toy on a string. I am sure there is something that can catch her interest. Some cats like little mice on a string, some like feathers on a stick, etc. You might want to get one of those lazer beams, I can't imagine a cat not be attracted to it. You might also want to trim your cat's nails, do it when she is cozy sitting in your lap. She won't damage your furniture as much.

And yes, if you yell, she might see it as attention and will do the very thing that anoys you just to get the negative attention, since it's better to her than nothing. Chichi did it to me when she was a kitten. Drove me nuts, then I learned to just ignore it and accept that sometimes she'll be doing those things, like crawl behind TV, jump around on the couch etc. She cut down on that.

You might want to try ignoring her whenever she is "acting out" and giving her affection and love when she is just sitting around minding her business. That way she'll learn being more independent. Where does she sleep? Do you let her in your bedroom to sleep with you or do you close the door?

Be certain she's healthy.

Try not to yell at her (or swat her); it'll only make her mad/scared/defiant. However, there's nothing wrong with squirt bottles as long as it's clear to her why she's getting punished.

Our cat behaves similarly - He bangs cabinets, but ONLY if we're ignoring him. It was annoying enough at night that we now let him in the room with us. He has his own nest that he retreats to once we push him away or move too much, and everyone's happy. It also helps to feed him at night (full belly = more satisfied kitty) and to play long and hard with him just before bed so he's tired. The more you keep her moving during the day, the less energy she'll have to misbehave when she's feeling neglected.

When or if you find out that this is a UTI- you will be ahead of the game to throw out the old litterpans she is using and bring in new ones. A lot of the time, the cat will associated the pan with the PAIN and will avoid the litter pan that hurt her in the first place. Tossing out the offending pan just makes your life easier because there will be no more litter pan accidents as the predator pan is now gone.

You've gotten lots of good advice here. I would also suggest you get one of the enzyme based carpet cleaners and clean up the spot where she's urinated on the carpet or she'll continue to go back to it, even if there's foil over it. Also, she may be stressing from all the quiet so maybe a water fountain will help create some noise and Comfort Zone or Feliway difuser will help with the stress.

Stephanie

And I strongly disagree with using the water bottle as a discipline tool. Cats do not respond well to discipline, they are not dogs. You redirect their behavior, they act by instinct and are not trying to upset you in doing so.

Thanks again to everyone - just to mention, she does have her own bed, which she LOVES! Also, we do provide positive reinforcement all of the time!

That aside, things just took a major turn for the worse. We were out shopping for two hours and we left her in our spare bedroom with the door closed as was suggested. She is familiar with this room as her litter box is there and she sleeps on the bed from time to time. We left her some water, toys, etc. We came home to find the carpet shredded at the door - she was trying to scratch her way out apparently. That's obviously nothing that will be fixed by trimming her claws! We were only gone for two hours!! I plan to leave her in there tonight while we are sleeping, god only knows what she'll do. By the way, we did not do anything to try to correct her or tell her what she did wrong - figuring that it had been too long since it happened to provide negative reinforcement. I'm trying to have patience