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Now he gets a documentary!

post #1 of 14
1/13/06 at 5:43am
Thread Starter 
http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/tommylee_...NlYwN5bmNhdA--

I am so ticked off that this guy (in NO way is he a man) keeps getting all of this great recognition. First it's his own tv show....now he's being made into a documentary by some filmmakers that I usedto really respect.

If we keep giving such positive attention to perpetrators of domestic violence (he pleaded on contest to kicking Pamela Anderson and spent 4 months in jail for it in 1998 among other incidents), the crime will never be treated as seriously as it should. This just infuriates me.
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post #2 of 14
1/13/06 at 6:01am


If it makes you feel any better, honestly, I don't know if this will have a lot of impact. The reason I say that is that we seem to hold celebrities to an entirely different set of standards than we do average people. For instance, if a female celeb walks outside without makeup on, that's actually news. And if we hear of a celeb marriage that's disentegrated after only a few months, no one is really surprised, at least not like you would be if you heard that about someone you know. It's sort of like we tacitly admit that you have to be at least a little bit crazy to be famous, so we accept some bizarre celeb behaviors as normal.
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post #3 of 14
1/13/06 at 7:14am
Our country has a bizarre fetish with celebrities. People dont care what things they do, good or bad, they are famous and they get the attention, and they get the free pass when they need it. Tommy Lee is a rock "legend" but has made himself famous, or infamous, for many different reasons. (domestic violence, porn, reality shows) The more his name is in the news, the more some people want to hear about him. That is sadly the way it is now. Go figure!
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post #4 of 14
1/13/06 at 7:48am
I'll be the odd man out here. I love Tommy, and I always have. I've always been a huge fan of Motley Crue. Tommy has had a lot of issues he's worked through - serious drug addiction, 2 marriages, the assault charges and anger issues (which he has apparently worked through, he has completed anger management courses, and served his time in jail which is more than most celebs do). From everything I can see, he's finally truly gotten his life on track now. He's totally devoted to his kids, back with the band in a healthy way, and expressing himself without using his fists.

I know it may be difficult to fathom, but maybe this documentary won't focus on how great it is to be famous. Maybe Tommy will discuss the bad parts of his life, especially those parts that have been the focus of media attention, and make it a positive statement overall.
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post #5 of 14
1/13/06 at 7:52am
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by valanhb
Tommy has had a lot of issues he's worked through - serious drug addiction, 2 marriages, the assault charges and anger issues (which he has apparently worked through, he has completed anger management courses, and served his time in jail which is more than most celebs do).
On average, MAYBE one out of every 25 or so batterers will ever change...and it takes much more than anger management classes. The research I've seen says that it takes at least 2-3 years of intense therapy with a psychologist to work through the learned behavior and extreme control issues that mark domestic violence. If he has stopped all forms of abuse (including emotional and verbal, which almost ever stop completely), good for him. But just because there haven't been any reports made against him lately doesn't mean he's no longer abusive.
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post #6 of 14
1/13/06 at 8:02am
And maybe he wasn't really "abusive" in the textbook sense of the word, but actually did just lose his temper. He is a celebrity, married to bigger celebrities, which means that anything either of them say or do gets blown totally out of proportion. I'm not trying to defend him as an abuser. I just don't think we know the whole story. Pamela did leave him, she did divorce him. If he were so chonically abusive, I don't think she would still spend time with him, or agree to (voluntarily) joint custody of their children, or in generally still be close to him. From what I've seen here, while getting away is difficult, STAYING away is much easier once the break has been made.
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post #7 of 14
1/13/06 at 8:03am
Yuck, what a loser.
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post #8 of 14
1/13/06 at 8:57am
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by valanhb
And maybe he wasn't really "abusive" in the textbook sense of the word, but actually did just lose his temper. He is a celebrity, married to bigger celebrities, which means that anything either of them say or do gets blown totally out of proportion. I'm not trying to defend him as an abuser. I just don't think we know the whole story. Pamela did leave him, she did divorce him. If he were so chonically abusive, I don't think she would still spend time with him, or agree to (voluntarily) joint custody of their children, or in generally still be close to him. From what I've seen here, while getting away is difficult, STAYING away is much easier once the break has been made.
If we start excusing abusive behavior when people claim they just "lost it" the whole criminal justice system is in trouble.
And no, it's not shocking that Pam would consider going back to him or allow him joint custody. The average abuse survivor leaves 12-13 times before they leave for good. The psychology behind why people stay with abusers is very complex and their coming and going actions are almost never a good indication of whether or not their partner is still abusive.
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post #9 of 14
1/13/06 at 9:05am
Quote:
Originally Posted by ugaimes
If we start excusing abusive behavior when people claim they just "lost it" the whole criminal justice system is in trouble.
But he wasn't excused. He served his time in jail. He completed the programs he was supposed to complete. He wasn't excused from anything. He got a lot more in his sentencing than a lot of assault charges bring, and certainly more than most celebrities get. Heck, Tommy got a harsher sentence than his band-mate did when Vince killed a man when he was driving drunk!
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post #10 of 14
1/13/06 at 10:57am
Yeah, that. He got more than the monster who raped the little girl for 4 years.
That is STILL driving me insane.
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post #11 of 14
1/13/06 at 11:05am
Quote:
Originally Posted by valanhb
But he wasn't excused. He served his time in jail. He completed the programs he was supposed to complete. He wasn't excused from anything. He got a lot more in his sentencing than a lot of assault charges bring, and certainly more than most celebrities get. Heck, Tommy got a harsher sentence than his band-mate did when Vince killed a man when he was driving drunk!
I have to agree here, Amy. Tommy didn't plead "not guilty". He pled out no contest. He took responsibility for what he did and admitted it to the world. He then served his time and attended mandated programs. You can't condemn someone forever.
Without forgiveness and growth, there isn't any reason for anyone to change.
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post #12 of 14
1/13/06 at 2:39pm
My father was given only *1* year of probation, unsupervised, becasue he tried to light my mother on fire when she was doused by gasoline by him. In my opinion, that was attempted murder, but again, he got only *1* year of probation. And yes, they have been divorced since then for a very long time.
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post #13 of 14
1/13/06 at 2:44pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Arg0
My father was given only *1* year of probation, unsupervised, becasue he tried to light my mother on fire when she was doused by gasoline by him. In my opinion, that was attempted murder, but again, he got only *1* year of probation. And yes, they have been divorced since then for a very long time.
Wow! Sounds like attempted murder to me too.
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post #14 of 14
1/14/06 at 10:59am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Arg0
My father was given only *1* year of probation, unsupervised, because he tried to light my mother on fire when she was doused by gasoline by him. In my opinion, that was attempted murder, but again, he got only *1* year of probation. And yes, they have been divorced since then for a very long time.
That's horrible! I'm willing to bet the judge was male, based on court experience due to my ex-brother-in-law's abusiveness. If it had been the other way around, and your mother had doused him with gasoline and tried to ignite him to escape his abuse, she probably would've been tried for attempted murder.
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