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Meeting people online - a dating taboo?

post #1 of 60
Thread Starter 
I was just wondering how you all feel about meeting online. I know this thread has been covered before but wanted to bring it up in IMO to get a new spin on it.

Is it now socially acceptable to meet your partner online? If you met someone online would you admit to it? Do your 'real life' friends think your crazy for having online friends etc ?
post #2 of 60
Friends of mine met online and married five years ago. I tried online dating but only found wierdos and fortune hunters (God knows why - I am Ok but not wealthy!). But online friends are great - you can talk to them any time, be more honest I think, and choose peopple who really share your interests.
post #3 of 60
Several of the single guys I work with use Match.com and other sites to find prospective dates. No love matches yet, but no psycho scary experiences either, I think.
post #4 of 60
Most people you meet online, in my experience, are looking online because nobody in real time would date them. LOL Have I met some sick tickets ... but I digress.

The biggest problem with meeting people online is that the really interesting ones usually live a plane ride away. Also, it's too easy to lie about yourself online.
post #5 of 60
I would say it's as socially acceptable now to say that you met your partner online as it is (was) to say that you met them at a bar.
post #6 of 60
All of my coworkers know I met my hubsand on-line - he live in Los Angeles I lived in KY - we have been married for over 8 years.

People used to look at me strange when I told them how I met my husband - any more, it gets barley a raised eyebrow.
post #7 of 60
Well, I think Fwan and Wyan should take a shot at it.
post #8 of 60
My real life friends aren't on-line for anything but e-mail and occasional IM'ing or browsing unless it's research. So yeah, they don't get the whole e-friend thing. They also don't think you can meet a good guy on-line, and they think that they're all ugly or have issues, "or else they'd be meeting real people".

But, I think the majority of people see on-line dating differently now. I used to meet people on-line in '98 and people thought I was nuts. Or more accurately : they were nuts! They thought everyone on-line was a serial killer, rapist, sociopath, etc.

It's interesting how things have changed. I still don't think some people on-line are as "normal" as folks I see every day, but those people probably aren't as normal as I think. A different side of people comes out behind the screen a lot of the time.

Oh, but dating...I'd do it again, and plan to. I've seen a lot of hot, successful men on there. I don't think it's as taboo as it once was.
post #9 of 60
Given that I celebrated my 10th wedding anniversary this past October, I think my friends and family are believers in the possiblities

We met and dated online.
post #10 of 60
I met Eva online but not on an online dating thing. It was just on a general forum and we got on. We talked for about a year before we actually met. Best thing I've ever done
post #11 of 60
There are some people here who know as much or more about me, as my family does. This has been done mainly through PMs and IMs but, sometimes its easier for me to "talk" to someone online, than it is to someone in person. Besides, none of my online friends can run to my other friends and co-workers and gossip about what I've told them.

As for online dating, I'm too old and weary for the bar scene. This month's Reader's Digest mentioned a dating site for smokers. I think that I'm going to register, just for some conversation and mild flirting.
post #12 of 60
I have several friends that met online and are now either living together or happily married. I met Mike through the personals many years ago and we are still going strong.
post #13 of 60
Online has really made the world a smaller place, to me. I talk to 'live' people about friends in other states or even countries all the time. The biggest disadvantage is not being able to readily meet e-friends.

A friend of mine joined an online interest forum that is specific to where he lives. He has, therefore, met dozens of the people, and it has made a move to a brand new city a very smooth transition for him.
post #14 of 60
I have a friend that met her ex-husband online when she was 16. In this case I think the problem was more naive teenage girl with a not so common sense boy of a man. Basically it was all bad from the start for them.

My FIL does that online dating stuff. He's made a few good friends and usually has several 'lady friends' that he is seeing, who know about eachother he says. So far that's it for him. I think he's a bit picky though! I guess that could be a good thing.
post #15 of 60
I met my boyfriend of over 2 years online. At the time I was only 16 (almost 17) so my parents were never told, actually they still don't know. Our friends thought it was a cute story to tell, but I still get embarrassed telling people about it lol! But I do agree with some of the things said up there^^ You have to be really careful about who you agree to meet up with and it is really easy to lie. On the other hand searching online opens up a huge variety of people you wouldn't usually be exposed to.
post #16 of 60
I have several online friends.. and they are only that.. friends. I have been married for over 26 yrs, so obviously we didn't meet online. But I have had friends that met their spouse online.

I have met several of my online friends IRL and they have been exactly who they say they are. But I am careful. I never use my real first name at any website (this one included ) No offense to anyone here.
post #17 of 60
I met my boyfriend online two years ago. I never would have met him without venturing online, as we move incompletely different social circles. When older people ask how we met, we tend to say that we met at a restaurant (which is technically true--but only after corresponding online first), whereas with the younger, more Internet-savy people, we have no problem saying we met online.

There IS that stereotype about people online being unattractive or overexaggerating their attractiveness online, but in general, I dated A LOT through online dating sites, and most of the time I found that people matched their pictures. As a female who moved to a new place and who knew no one, I found it difficult to go out and meet people by myself. My colleagues at work were all considerably older than myself, so I couldn't meet people through work.

I can honestly say that almost all of my friends here in HI I met online first, whether through Craigslist or some other social site. The Internet was a social lifesaver for me! I even run my own social webgroup to help other newcomers so that they don't have as hard a time as I did trying to meet people.
post #18 of 60
I dont think there is anything wrong with it. I know several married couples who met online and one is now married. It is getting harder and harder to meet people in todays society because our lives are so hectic and if you hate the bar scene you are left with few options expecially when you move to a new area.
post #19 of 60
I have a close friend who is doing online dating. She met her ex online & they lasted for almost 2 years. I had read in a newspaper, but haven't been able to find the article again online, that online dating statistics show that over 70% of women will have sex with someone they met online, that less than 25% will be in a relationship that lasts more than 5 years, and that less than 10% leads to marriage - but IMO that reflects the real world in general. My friend is remaining abstinent (she has returned to her faith) and is having the time of her life, enjoying meeting interesting men & dating, without the emotional ties of "getting too involved too fast". I think that it sounds like a fun idea and I would probably try it, too, if I found myself single again.
post #20 of 60
BTW, regarding the bar scene - it's a great way to meet people with drinking problems! I've done alot of looking into alcoholic men & they are notorious for being very charming & "easy to get to know" and making a lady feel comfortable with him - in fact, it's a red flag, as manipulative people are good are saying what the rest of us want to hear.
post #21 of 60
i have a friend who met her husband online...she tells anyone who wants to know. they say the movie 'You've Got Mail' is their story! theirs is really slightly different, but it's close!
post #22 of 60
I've never dated online, but I have made amny friends online and have met them. Last year I went to a horse camp in Georgia to meet 17 people from a horse board. Everyone was sure that I was going to meet up with a bunch of ax murderers and be killed on a remote mountaintop. Well I can happily report that not ONE ax was murdered over the entire weekend! We had a grand time, it was like a bunch of old friends getting together. Pretty much all of us had met one or two people beforehand, but some hadn't One person lives about an hour from me, and I'd met her twice before, and then we met another person in Tennessee for lunch on our way in.
I don't know if I'd want to date online. I woudln't want to date, at all, really. I'm so happy to be married and not out there on the dating scene. I never liked it and met my husband when he came in the gas station I worked at. And I didn't want a relationship and wasn't looking for anyone when I met him. We're going on 5 1/2 years.

post #23 of 60
Originally Posted by Deb25
Online has really made the world a smaller place, to me. I talk to 'live' people about friends in other states or even countries all the time. The biggest disadvantage is not being able to readily meet e-friends.
My husband refers to these people as my "imaginary friends." But last week he went with me to meet a friend of mine from Virginia (we've been chatting for MANY years, probably close to 10) and thought she was very nice and not "a wierd internet person." Whenever people make sweeping statements about the sort of people online, I have to remind them that *I* am one of those people, and that so far of all the people I have met, not a single one of them has turned out to be much different from thier online self.

post #24 of 60
I just don't know about meeting people online..I think regular friends are good, but for a significant other..I would just be nervous that they aren't who they say they are....Eeek!
post #25 of 60
It's been done, and I've considered trying it again, but decided not to. I met too many wierdos! I did put my ex boyfriend on Match.com and he met a woman and they're now married!
post #26 of 60
I didn't like the online dating scene and haven't tried it for a couple of years. A high number of the women I had contact with lied about their appearance in one way or another and not with any subtlety. That really turned me off.
post #27 of 60
I've dated two men, whom I've met online. One just wanted sex (dropped HIM quickly) but Saturday marks one month, since my first face-to-face date with Earl. We chatted online, for several weeks, before meeting for dinner.

So far, so good. We've had a total of six dates and they've all gone well.
post #28 of 60
Originally Posted by Trouts mom
I just don't know about meeting people online..I think regular friends are good, but for a significant other..I would just be nervous that they aren't who they say they are....Eeek!
This can happen just as easily as meeting someone in a bar or at the library for that matter. You can lie just as easily to someones face as over the internet if you are good at it. I have seen plenty of female friends hearts broken by lying jackasses. A very good friend of mine boyfriend was going out and sleeping with ramdom girls and snorting coke ans she didnt know about it until she stumbled on to some of his emails. This guy looked like Mr. perfect and Mr Success. After they broke up she found out he didnt even graduate from college and they had been dating and living togther for years. So people can be very deceptive no matter where you meet them. She met him at a bar.
post #29 of 60
I think it's becoming more and more what people choose to do, or like through a phone chat line(not the 900 numbers thou lol).

I sort of met my husband online....My bestfriend's (male) cousin lived in the same town as kyle. I initially was supposed to be matched up with the cousin and he was added to my msn to keep in touch when he wasn't in the city and I just added a couple of his friends to my msn and me and kyle talked on msn and then met 6 months later and have been unseperable since, but I don't consider us to have online dated and its not like he was a random stanger because we had common friends.

I think its fine if you are safe about it and you are ok with it yourself, because at the end of the day, if you feel good about it, what does it matter if someone else doesn't like it.
post #30 of 60
I met my fiance online. We didn't date online, but we chatted often. Finally after a year or so we decided to go see Star Wars, as it had just come out. It wasn't a date, just hanging out. But we met a few more times and then he asked me out on a date. That was 4 years ago and now we are getting married in June.

I just attended a wedding 2 weeks ago, my best friend. She met her husband online and they dated for about 1.5 years before they met (long-distance, probably 1000 miles). He came up to visit one Christmas. That was probably around 7 years ago and now they are married.
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