Well, when I first awoke with only 5 hours sleep I groggily got out of bed to go the bathroom. Now, because of my disbility I have to hang on to the walls, lest I fall. Well, when I got out of bed this morning, eyes half closed and groggy, I looked down to where I had peeled off my favorite black jeans the night before. And Tiger was just starting to squat IN them, to pee I suppose. Well, in the half awake state of mind I was in I yelled "NO!" and gave him one light swat on the hind quarters.
Well, he took off running and hid under the bed. I say this firmly when I say that I DO NOT think a cat should be swatted or spanked AT ALL for ANY reason, because cats aren't like dogs. It's just something you don't do. And I did it! Well, I immediately felt like a complete s**t.
After using the bathroom and brushing my teeth I was more coherant and the more awake I became the worse I felt. Socrates was already sitting by the bowls awaiting breakfast so I filled both bowls, figuring Tiger would come out from under the bed. He didn't. Not even for food.
Well, for him not to come out even for food just made me feel worse, so I lay on the floor next to the bed and raised the skirt and could see him in the middle, far enough that I couldn't grab him. And he was looking at me with a "I can't believe you spanked me" look and OH, the tears started. I started to cry and apologized profusely and swore I wouldn't ever do it again. I mean, what if he wasn't trying to pee? Then he doesn't know why I swatted him (I went to wash the jeans just in case he had peed a bit, but they were unscathed).
Well, I reached and could just touch his tummy and I rubbed it. I was finally able to pull him out, and I rubbed and kissed and cried and told him I was sorry and that I loved him. He stayed out for a little bit and I went to the bank and back, by which time I could see that he had eaten. But, then I had to take off to come to work and when I left he was hiding under the bed again, something he has NEVER done before.
I am SO upset and depressed right now and feel just COMPLETELY HORRIBLE!!!!! Please, someone tell me, am I over reacting?