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I miss my little girl

post #1 of 20
Thread Starter 
I have been feeling really down again over the past few days over the loss of my beloved cat Kiaira.
She came into my life when I was a small child and was my companion for over 19 years. I miss her dearly! We battled Kidney disease for two years and in August of 2005 she went into renal failure. We tried everything from oral to injectable medications to keep her as comfortable as possible. In late September, I had to let her go. Although it was the most difficult and painful decision I have ever made, I loved her too much to let her quality of life deteriorate.
At times I can't express how much I miss her, but I know she's in a better place.
I wrote the following tribute for her and I wanted to share it here as I know many of you can relate to what I have been going through. Thank you for taking the time to read this.

Dear Kiaira,

I miss you deeply, and there hasn’t been a day since you left this earth that my heart hasn’t ached for your presence. We shared a very special bond, one I will always cherish and hold dear to me. To some, it appeared as though I took care of you over the last 19 years. However, I believe we took care of each other.

When I was a small child and afraid to sleep alone, you would come to me in the night. You would curl up around my head and you wouldn’t leave until you knew I was fast asleep. Whenever I was ill with the flu, you would meow for grandma to give me medication to ease my discomfort. If ever I was depressed, whether it was over a broken heart, an altercation with a friend, or over the loss of a loved one, you sensed my sadness and comforted me. Whenever I was lonely, you would lay upon my lap in order to keep me company. You had this way of reading me in a way no other could. You knew me as well as I knew every expression, every detail of your face. You my friend, were the epitome of one of a kind.

You provided me with many valuable gifts throughout our years together. At a very young age, you taught me about companionship, commitment, and most importantly, the beauty of unconditional love. You helped make me the person I am today, and for that, I owe you my eternal gratitude.

Baby girl, I would have given everything, gone to any lengths to have saved you. But renal failure is a battle that cannot be won which angered and hurt me because I was rendered helpless at a time when you needed me most. So as much as it killed me, I had to let you go that night as I loved you too much to allow you to suffer or no longer be able to do the things you loved. I know you’re in a better place now, and I take comfort in that.

Kiaira, I miss you terribly! I long to touch you, stroke your fur and hold you in my arms once again. I miss your kisses and the way you would gently head butt my forehead. I miss the way you would beg for food at dinner time; especially when we had some sort of seafood dish. I miss the way you would greet me when I arrived home, and I hate that you’re not here to do so anymore. But most of all, I miss the way you loved me…in that unconditional kind of way.

Oh this house definitely feels empty without you girl, and the nights are now long and lonely. It’s hard living without you because for as long as I can remember, you’ve always been there. I’m fighting to get through this; however, I find myself feeling lost most of the time.

But sometimes if I close my eyes, I can still picture you cuddled up in your favourite chair. You’re purring and you raise your head once you notice my presence. You jump down and meow as if to say hello as you walk toward me for a belly rub. I stroke your fur and you kiss my forehead as I smile. It’s a time before you were ill, a time when we were both happy, and it’s how I like to remember you.

Until the day we meet again at Rainbow Bridge, you will hold a special place in my heart, a spot in which no other can replace.

Missing you deeply and Loving you Always,

post #2 of 20
what a beautiful tribute to a gorgeous girl I feel your heartache as I read this and I wish I could take some of that pain away. It will get easier with time and your doing the right thing by remembering the good times.

I have no doubt Kiaira thanks you for your kindness in helping her cross over with dignity... hard as it was you did the most unselfish act and she will forever be watching over you waiting until she can comes running up to you again for belly rubs.

Thankyou for sharing her story with us

RIP Kiaira - you are deeply missed - fly high with the angels sweetheart
post #3 of 20
My name is Bobbie, and your post about sweet Kiara touched me deeply. I feel your pain. I've lost pets over the years. My cats were recently ill, and it almost killed me.

Please PM me! I will talk to you any time. I am aching with you and praying for you. Kiara was blessed to have you. You were blessed with her.
Try to have a good day!
Shenandoah and Humble send purrs and headbutts to you.
post #4 of 20
I am so sorry for the loss of your cat. It is always hard when we have to make the decision to help them pass from here to there. Yours is a loss most of us feel and understand, having been there at some time ourselves. Please know that we are all praying for you with broken hearts too. You have a big heart and much love to give and I hope you will share it with another cat who needs a wonderful home like yours. God bless you as you hurt and try to heal. Rest in peace dear kitty. You were a special cat and you were blessed to have someone who loved you so fiercely.
post #5 of 20
As I read your beautiful tribute to Kiaira, I had to stop a couple of times . . . I couldn’t read through the tears. I lost my Candy kitty to kidney disease right after Christmas, so I know, too recently, how hard it is to balance one’s own need to keep their baby with them for as long as possible versus their quality of life. Such a difficult decision.

Having had Kiaira as a child, and for so many years, I know your pain has to be even deeper than mine. In time, though, the pain will heal, but you’ll have many good memories forever. Carry the strength of Kiaira’s love with you through your life, until you see her again.

My heart is with you. R.I.P. sweet Kiaira.

post #6 of 20
Thread Starter 
Thank you so much for all of your kind words! It really helps to talk about her and I'm grateful to have a place filled with people who really understand. It means a lot.
Ginnyp, I am very sorry for your loss. I know it must be very difficult at times...but I know our kitties are both with us...they will always hold a special place in our hearts.
post #7 of 20
Communicating with everyone on this website has really helped me since I lost my Candy. It is good to talk about our little friends with others who truly understand. They will always be with us and we'll see them again on the bridge.

I see you also have a pug. Ours is Heidi. She also misses Candy. She'll suddenly get up and go look and sniff at places Candy used to sit, then she'll go and lay down again. Throughout the evening, though, the cat was usually in my lap - the dog laying against my husband.
post #8 of 20
Thread Starter 
Kirby and Kiaira were really close. They used to like sleeping on the couch or bed together sometimes. He looked for her a few times after she was gone...but he didn't really outwardly mourn.
My other cat Tori was never really close with Kiaira during the 12 years they lived together. And yet she took it very hard for about a week or two. She would cry for her...and her meows were long and deep. It was heartbreaking.
post #9 of 20
I have to think the cats and dogs that are left behind when one of their housemates leaves have some understanding of what happened, but obviously, each will grieve in their own way. What a gathering at the Rainbow Bridge!
post #10 of 20
What a wonderful tribute to Kiaira. It is so hard to lose them. It will get easier over time, and the good memories will overtake the pain of her loss. Hugs to you

RIP sweet girl!
post #11 of 20
Your tribute to your precious little girl was beautiful. Thank you for sharing it. Thinking of both of you.
post #12 of 20
This was beautiful. I lost Sunni, after only 5 years together, this past June. Everything you said I understand. The pain of losing her has been particularly intense lately for me, as well.
Thank you for sharing this.
post #13 of 20
That was truly beautiful and it's hard to see while I'm crying.
I so understand the hole in your heart.
I think of my SiSi every single day, and it's been well over two years now. She was by my side and my best friend for 11 years. She saw me through pneumonia, and an unspeakable tragic loss, always by my side. I have no doubt that your little K has seen my SiSi girl and they're friends up there.
RIP SiSi, never forgotten May 18, 2003.
post #14 of 20
What a wonderful tribute to a beautiful girl. I understand your heartbreak, I miss my dear Vinnie everyday.

My thought and prayers are with you during this time.
post #15 of 20
Thread Starter 
Thank you to each and every one of you for all of your kind and heartfelt words.

Sunnicat, I am very sorry to hear about Sonni. I know your heart aches right now and I really feel for you during this time. Until you meet again, she will always hold a very special piece of your heart. I will keep you in my thoughts during this difficult time.

Sashacat421, I'm also sorry to hear about Sisi. You shared so much together, and I'm sure Sisi knows how much you appreciated her presence and love during happy (and very difficult) times in your life. I'm sure she appreciated your love and care just as much. I will keep you in my thoughts.

Luvmysphynx, I am also really sorry to hear about the loss of your kitty Vinnie. Our kitties are like family, and it must have terribly difficult on you to lose someone you loved so much. I will keep you in my thoughts.

Again, thank you everyone.
post #16 of 20
Oh my goodness that was so lovely! And what a beautiful little girl she is
post #17 of 20
Your post touched me, I feel your pain, but think of how well loved and looked after she was with you, and how she looked after you. I'm sending love your way, *hugs*
post #18 of 20
What a beautiful tribute to your very beautiful girl Kiaira. I so understand how hard it must be for you now, please know that Kiaira is just happily smiling down on her mommy wanting her to be happy. So wonderful that the two of you shared such a long life together.
post #19 of 20
Kiaira is just happily smiling down on her mommy wanting her to be happy
I agree.

You both were very lucky to have spent so many years together which is only a tribute to how much she was loved and cared for. Sending prayers that the hole in your heart heals quickly.
post #20 of 20
What a touching tribute. My 10 y/o dd's bed is kitty city at our house. She has loved and lost over the years, but I have a feeling that someday she will be going through what you have faced, the loss of a childhood companion. I fully understand how close you were to Kiaira, because I see it daily in Lexie and Festie...

One morning, Lexie complained that she did blinkies with Festie, and Fest didn't blink back. She wondered if Festus still loved her. I looked over at them, and saw how Festie was curled in Lexie's lap. Then Festie reached up and touched her nose to Lexie's, which is something they have done since Festus was a tiny baby. I reassured her that any kitty who gives you nose kisses loves you very dearly! It was almost like Lexie was talking kitty talk (blinkies) and Festie was talking human (kisses). I believe there is no relationship so close as a little girl and her kitty.

I am very sorry for your loss, but so happy for you that you had 19 years of a close bond with Kiaira. She lived such a happy life, and now she is there for all the little kitties in heaven who never knew love here on earth. She is telling them about you, and how when someday you get to heaven you will share your love with them, too.

Rest in peace, Kiaira!
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