› Forums › General Forums › The Cat Lounge › Heart-breaking find on the Oregon Coast
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:

Heart-breaking find on the Oregon Coast

post #1 of 24
Thread Starter 
This weekend, the volunteer clean-up crew that works the beaches found a newborn infant buried in a shallow grave. Everytime I hear this type of thing, my blood boils and I just can't understand why someone would do this? They are enacting a new law here in Oregon where there now will be safe places where teenage girls can dump their babies off. Hospitals, police stations, fire departments, the child is just some unwanted piece of garbage they can throw away into a life they will never know about. Just makes me so mad!
post #2 of 24
How horrible! That makes me SO mad when I hear things like that! They act like its something they can just get rid of and not have to care about anymore. Hopefully this new law will prevent this type of thing from happening over and over again.
post #3 of 24
That is just horrible!!!!!! I can't understand what would make a woman do this to her baby!!!
post #4 of 24
There has been so much of this sort of thing, lately. Last month, a family dog was digging in the backyard and found the body of a full-term newborn. The teenage son found it and told his mother. She called 911, freaking out. Turns out, her 20-year-old daughter had given birth in the bathroom and, then buried the baby in the backyard. She's been charged with murder two. There's no reason for this. Arizona has a Baby Haven law: within 72 hours of giving birth, a mother can take the baby to any ER, some clinics or the Crisis Nursery - no questions asked. They do request medical history but the mother doesn't have to answer and no charges will be filed. In the year, since this law was passed, no one has used this service, though. I don't understand how these girls can hide these pregnancies and give birth, with no one knowing. A few years ago, an 18-year-old gave birth and stuffed the baby's body into a coffee can and hid it under the bathroom sink. SHE claimed that she didn't know she was pregnant. These aren't ignorant people, either. The 20-year-old is a student at the UA and the other girl is the daughter of two college professors.
post #5 of 24
We have the same type of law here in Colorado. I don't know how much good it really does, though. There have been a few that have used the drop offs, but then the media is all over it. How secure do you think these women feel when the news agencies are all over it and them? These people are actually tracked down (if not attacked when they go the drop off points) by the media for a statement!! The really sad thing is that even after the law took effect, there have still been abandoned babies found. Even worse, one of the "mothers" who just dropped her baby at a dumpster fought to get the baby back and won!

Stupid people should be sterilized.
post #6 of 24
Unfortunately, just us smart ones get "fixed". I can't believe some of these girls' claims that they didn't know they were pregnant. How do you NOT know? These were all full-term pregnancies. Didn't the baby MOVE?
post #7 of 24
Val- I saw a movie about a black mother who was on drugs. She left her baby in a dumpster. The movie was on Thursday on Lifetime and it was called Losing Isaiah. Is that a true story?

Isn't there birth control available for everyone? I mean if a woman dosen't want to get pregnant, then there is birth control. Dosen't Medicare cover it?

I guess, sometimes, a young girl can get pregnant. Her boyfriend refuses to lay claim to the baby. And maybe she is afraid to tell her parents so she feels alone and scared. I think parents should be a little closer to their teens so that things like this dosen't happen. I kind of scared whats going to happen if my daughter gets in that situation. I shouln't worry now since she is only 5, but I want to be prepared.
post #8 of 24
No, most places do not cover birth control. I'm glad that I live in Washington, where all birth control is covered (your choice of method) for anyone 200% above the poverty level and below.

A lot of young women do not know how to get birth control. And they are raised in fear of saying they got pregnant. They feel like they have nowhere to turn. It's sad really, because there is a lot of support, but on the otherhand, society really looks down on teen mothers and also it is very hard to be a teen mother. (Not that I know).

I do know that it is possible not to know you are pregnant for quite some time. I took the pill (what a crappy birth control method) and got pregnant. Only I was skipping the placebo pills so I never got my period. I started getting really sick and went to a doctor. The doctor, seeing that I was on the pill, did not give me a pregnancy test and gave me some anti-vomiting pills, saying it must be stress. A few months later, I had lost about 30 pounds (a lot for my size) and was still throwing up. I was having trouble keeping water down even. I went back to the doctor, and he gave me a different anti-nausea pill, and sent me on my way. Well, surprise surprise. I went in for my annual, turns out I was 6 months pregnant. The reason I was so sick and losing so much weight is that I am RH negative, and my body was responding basically the same as when someone gets an incompatible organ transplant. RH negative women can die without treatment, so that doctor really endangered my life. I had no choice but to have an abortion, because by not having treatment up to that point, the fetus was not developed and would not survive, and it could possibly kill me to continue. I spent 5 days in the hospital.

I'm really glad that that law is being enacted. It is being enacted in a lot of states. These women make the wrong choice, but I think they just don't know what else to do. I can't imagine what a scary situation they must be in to do something so awful.
post #9 of 24
Alicat-thats horrible what happened to you. I can't believe the doctor couldn't find out what was wrong with you. Thats strange that you got pregnant while you were taking the pill. I thought that it was 99% or more effective??? I have been taking the pill for over 3 years, and I've been fine.

I think that alot of these unwanted pregnancies can be avoided or else the girls can get some help if they would talk to their parents. The parents have to play an important role and communicate with their children more so that this type of thing doesn't continue to happen. I know first hand, b/c I got pregnant when I was 16, and I never told my parents because I was scared. My mom had always told me that she would kick me out if she ever found out that I was pregnant. I ended up having an abortion and she found out a few months later because my sisters found the papers in my purse. Needless to say, she wouldn't have kicked me out, but I wish she wouldn't have ever said that.
post #10 of 24
Yeah, I think parents try to scare the heck out of you, but in reality will accept it and help you because they love you.

Yeah, it was a really really horrible experience. It was about 3 years ago, so it's easier for me to talk about now, but I think it is important for people to know that doctors are not all knowing! Actually, the pill is only about 94 or 96% effective, I think, plus that depends on how good you are about taking it at the same time everyday. Now I take Depo-Provera (a shot 4 times a year in your tushie!), which is 99.6% effective, plus no period! But it can take up to 2 years to get pregnant once you stop taking it. It has other drawbacks too, but I need the security it gives me or I think I'd be taking pregnancy tests every other week.

Edit>>> When I have children, the girls are going to get Depo shots after their period. I'll tell them they are booster vaccines or flu shots or something. Don't want them to know they are on birth control, but just in case.....LOL.
post #11 of 24
Actually, you can take the Depo on your arm now. I take it every three months. I just had it recently and they put it on my right arm. They say you have to take a lot of calcium supplements as they tend to strip calcium of the bones. I like it, though. Its very effective.
post #12 of 24
I guess I don't have as much sympathy for these girls/women because I also got pregnant at age 16. I was young and dumb and thought it couldn't happen to me. I was very lucky that I had a great relationship with my mother, but it was still really scary to tell her. My dad didn't talk to me for about 2 months. I ended up miscarrying a week after I told my parents. Anyway, even if I hadn't been able to tell my parents there are a lot of other options. Planned Parenthood, the State Health agency (that's where I went to get the pregnancy test done, and they offered options to me), even a friend's mother offered to help me with the situation.

Regardless of whether or not parents are even involved (many of the stories that I hear about on the news of abandonded babies where they do find the mother and charge her are well over 18) we are still talking about a human life that these people are willing to throw away. Abortion is still a legal option if you know that you can't have/don't want a baby. I have heard of stories where the mother really didn't know that she was pregnant, but someone with an ounce of compassion still wouldn't throw their baby out with the trash or worse. I am glad that these laws are being passed so that there is another option. Unfortunately there will still be some people who have no thought of another person's life as long as it may interfere with theirs.
post #13 of 24
Yeah, you can choose your arm or your butt. I choose the butt - it's actually kinda high on the cheek towards your hip where they do it. It has more padding!
post #14 of 24
Alicat-why does Depo make you not have your period? Is it b/c it makes your body always think that you're pregnant unlike the pill where there is 1 week where you aren't taking anything? Wow! I would love not to have my period. How much does it cost everytime you have to get a shot?
post #15 of 24
Alicat- thats a terrible thing to have happened

I am RH negative as well and it complicated my pregnancies since my husband is RH positive. I was told by the doctor that there would be no danger to my first child, but that it would affect subsequent children during pregnancy. Were you ever pregnant before this happened? My specialist said if my first baby was of my husbands blood type (RH+) then my body would start building up antibodies. If untreated it would affect the second child because the anitbodies would basically destroy the babys blood cells. I had a shot after my daughters birth and was treated with regular shots all during my second pregnancy.

Anyways, sorry to be nosey- its just rare to speak to someone who had a similar experience. Of course yours ended much worse then mine did I'm very sorry to hear that.
post #16 of 24
I'm on Depo too. After that first three months of raging hormones, I wouldn't take anything else! I love it! Of course, I don't plan on having kids at all, so the 2 years to get pregnant thing didn't phase me.
post #17 of 24
I think it's around $30-40 (every 4 months) at Planned Parenthood. My state pays for it, so I'm not exactly sure. Gotta love living in a wealthy liberal place! Basically, from what I understand, Depo puts hormones in your body that make your system think that it has already ovulated. So, if you don't really ovulate, and your body already thinks it did, you don't go through the whole routine of the egg getting flushed away and all that. I think it is kinda like your body thinking you are pregnant or maybe in menopause. I'm not really sure. It can make you gain weight if you have a tendency towards weight gain and it's really bad for women prone towards mood swings or depression (not menstrually related like PMS). I love it, and the shot doesn't hurt at all.
post #18 of 24
Alicat- you never took the placebo pills and didn't get your period? I'm on the pill and haven't taken the sugar pills for a while and I still get it. I wonder if it was all related to your blood type.

Anyway that's really scary about what happened to you. Goes to show doctors don't know everything. I'm glad you're ok.

My mom got pregnant with me when she was 15 and at that time it wasn't a very common thing. The thing was she wanted to have a baby because she grew up in a chaotic household and felt if she had a baby it would be someone to love and have loved her back.

Because she had actually been there she was always honest and open with me about sex and wanted me to make smarter choices than she had. She had told me that when I was ready for sex to tell her and she'd get me on birth control. She also stated that she'd rather me not have sex but she'd rather me be honest and be on some protection rather than sneaking around and getting pregnant.

I think if a lot more parents where honest and open with their childern about sex(as hard as it may be) it could help prevent a lot of this nonsense and teenage pregnancy.

Plus too in school they have sex ed and they do cover a lot about STD's, pregnancy, birth control, sex, drugs but they never mentioned anything what you can do or where to go if you do become pregnant. Or at least not when I was there. If they were to let young girls know about planned parenthood or other places where they can get help then they'd spread the message a little further.
post #19 of 24
BadHabit, I think it has to do with whether or not you have a heavy period. I've never really had much of a period anyway, mostly only around the middle of the day when I was mroe active and I'd just wear pantiliners.

Melissa, honestly, I'm not really sure what all happened. The whole thing was a nightmare that didn't seem very real at all. I was also on a lot of drugs (prescribed) including the narcotic Fentanyl. interesting drug that, you are there, but not there. Anyway, I think it had to do with how far along I was or something. I was really sick and malnourished myself, and I think that might be what it was. They did give me some sort of shot that I have the info on. If I ever get pregnant I have to tell my doctor ASAP and they keep track of each time I am given tht shot. I don't really understand it all that well. Thank goodness for Depo!
post #20 of 24
In Germany they started a place where mothers can drop of their unwanted infants by putting them in a chute. So their is never any face to face contact. They had to close down the institution when mothers were trying to put older children in the chute.

post #21 of 24
Oh my.... Way to make a child feel loved.

Dropping off your baby in a chute? That's pretty ridiculous. If you've had the baby and don't want it anymore then suck it up be a woman and walk into the place and say"I don't want my baby". If you're mature enough to have sex then you're mature enough to take responsiblity for your own actions.
post #22 of 24
I'd love not to have the hassle of a monthly period!! But then again, the way I see it, it's almost like a relief when I do get it, cause I know that the pill is doing it's job and I have nothing to worry about. Although, that's not completely true either, because my best friend got pregnant while she was on the pill.
post #23 of 24
I like my solution best: surgery! Tubal ligation was the smartest thing that I ever did! When Mark was 1 1/2, I got pregnant, with an IUD - what a mess! One month later: snip! I've never regretted it, for a minute. I had it as an outpatient, was in and out in 3 hours. Had a couple of days discomfort but that was less than pregnancies and kids that I couldn't afford. If you can't feed 'em - don't breed 'em!
post #24 of 24
Just read this, trying to catch up. This sickens me too. This was a bad problem in Houston. Then they passed into law where mothers could leave their babies at fire stations or hospitals with no questions asked. Since then, the situation has greatly improved. You hardly ever hear about baby dumping anymore.

It makes me sad to think that mothers would just abandon their babies but if they are going to do it anyways at least now (in Houston) they can do it without risking the child's life.
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:
  Return Home
  Back to Forum: The Cat Lounge › Forums › General Forums › The Cat Lounge › Heart-breaking find on the Oregon Coast