New kitten won't leave resident cat alone-

We adopted a 13 week old kitten about 3 weeks ago. She and our older cat (who is only approximately 1 year old, female, spayed) are not getting along. I have read numerous articles on how to introduce them to each other so the first week we kept the new kitten by herself in a bedroom, only letting her out once a day to explore while the older cat went into the bedroom (which the older cat hated, growled and hissed the whole time). Then we tried to introduce them by bring the kitten out in the carrier. Lots of hissing and spitting on the older cat's part. Then we have been trying to bring them together each day for "visits", and it is not going well. We also have been giving tons of attention to the older cat and pretty much ignoring the kitten in her presence, to try to ward off any jealous feelings. The older one still growls and hisses, and the kitten just pretty much ignores that and thinks it's a game. The older one will also smack her repeatedly, but the kitten must think it's play because it won't deter her, the older one smacks her and runs off and the kitten runs after her for more! This kitten is absolutely fearless! The older one cannot even walk across a room without the kitten trying to engage her and runs up to her. I realize the kitten just wants to play, but if she would just quit "bugging" the older one, I think eventually they may get along. We have tried to distract the kitten with toys, etc., but she just wants to play w/ the big cat!! We tried a firm voice, water bottle w/ the kitten, but then the older one thinks we are reprimanding her, not the kitten. And the kitten really isn't detered by the water bottle, she seems to simply find it interesting. We really want to make this work, any suggestions would be greatly appreciated. Thank you.
PS- We are also using feliway spray and plug-in in hopes it would help.

Part of the problem could have been carrying the kitten into the room with the other cat. Height in the cat world means power, and the alpha cat will always go to the highest point in the room when other cats are around. So by carrying the kitten into the room, even in a carrier you automatically told your resident cat in cat language that he was no longer alpha. Nothing you can do about that now, except let them sort it out. If you haven't had to make an emergency vet visit, then they will sort it out in time. Just leave them be to figure it out.

Also recommend two great books- Outwitting Cats by Wendy Christensen and cat-vs-cat by Pamela Johnson-Bennett

Are you sure you're not at my house?? We're going through this as well, although our resident cat isn't as hissy. However, I think a lot of her hissing comes from her just telling our new cat, "Would you just leave me alone please and let me have my space??"

Stephanie

Ditto....I'm going through the same thing.

I'm trying to give the resident cat more attention. It's tough and I feel bad for him but the new cat really isn't going after him - she's just curious as to who he is and he hisses and growls when she is near.

No real brawls to speak of - I'm using the Feliway oil.