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Not sure if anyone can relate to this.....

post #1 of 13
Thread Starter 
When I was about 15 years old, I lived in an apartment in Queens NY with my mother and sister. We owned 5 cats, all outdoor. I loved all of them, but my favorite was my beautiful Tabby "Butch Cassidy". Me and Butchie would play for hours. He was a big mellow mush, the sweetest little boy. Well long story short, my family had to move to a different apartment. When I came home from school, I found that my mother had given away all of my cats. I was devastated and crying and asked her how she could do that to me, and to them. She was crying too, and she told me that she knew I would not accept her giving them away, and our new apartment did not allow pets, so this was the easiest way to do it. I was mad at her for a very long time after that. I have often thought about those cats, and most especially my beautiful Butchie. The connection to that cat is so strong that just writing about this now 30 years later brings tears to my eyes. I now have 2 cats, and my Hobbs has the same exact personality as Butch. I sometimes wonder if Hobbs is Butch reincarnated. I have asked my 5 cats from the past on many occasions to forgive me for not being able to hold onto them, but the whole thing still upsets me. I promise Butch, in my mind, that I will be the best care provider for all my pets, 2 cats, and 3 dogs, to honor his beautiful memory.
post #2 of 13
That is such a touching story...it's amazing how animals can impact our lives...your Butch sounds like he was a real doll, you never know maybe Butch sent you your new kitty to give you some closure?
post #3 of 13
I'm sorry for your loss, even after all this time. I had to leave my childhood dog behind and I know the loss you feel...
post #4 of 13
Thread Starter 
Thank you both. It is indeed amazing how we bond with our little friends, and we never do forget them. It is nice to think that one day we will meet up with all loved ones, including our beloved pets.
post #5 of 13
I had a dog as a teenager, probably about 12-14 yrs old. I had trained her well, and would take hours long walks in the woods with her, sometimes even bringing the neighbor's dog with. I loved her with all my heart, having always wanted a dog.

Somehow, my Dad decided that she wasn't getting enough attention or care...which is odd, because he didn't do the care...if anyone did it was Mom, who didn't mind. But a neighbor bought her from my Dad to be his hunting dog, and my Dad thought she would be happier with a "job". I was crushed.

The only thing that made it bearable, was I babysat for their kids, and so got to see her occasionally. I also visited, but when I was babysitting I got to spend more time with her. She never forgot me, and even when she was old and senile would wag her tail when she saw me.

I hope and pray that I never do anything so hurtful to my kids. Sometimes my Dad just didn't understand...he grew up in the days when a pet was just an animal. I don't think he ever even had a pet inside growing up...just farm animals.

Pain from our childhoods can affect us as adults. Maybe the love I shared with Bridget, and losing her, is why I love to have the freedom to have as many pets as I want now!
post #6 of 13
I had already put this in as a reply elsewhere, but sometimes parents do not view the bond their child has with their pets as strong, they perceive the pet as a moving toy that eats and is replaceable or disposable when it is no longer convenient. They do things like give the pets away or put them down while you are at school to avoid the scene they know you will make, but pretend its for your best interests this way. I bet if your mother had told you the truth from the outset and let you have a hand in picking Butch's new family, it would have gone a long way to helping you deal with it. As far as moving to an apartment that doesnt take pets, I would live in my car first. With my cat. I too had my parents get rid of my cats when money got tight (oddly enough, never the dog, apparently she was considered more useful, maybe in guarding the house?) and promise to "get me a new one in the spring", but when the dog was dying of kidney failure I was away at school and they did not tell me, they just put her down the night before I came home for the weekend. Some things are so hard to forgive and forget, like you, it has been about 15 years since Princess and I am still not happy with my mother.
post #7 of 13
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by edithtippett
I had already put this in as a reply elsewhere, but sometimes parents do not view the bond their child has with their pets as strong, they perceive the pet as a moving toy that eats and is replaceable or disposable when it is no longer convenient. They do things like give the pets away or put them down while you are at school to avoid the scene they know you will make, but pretend its for your best interests this way. I bet if your mother had told you the truth from the outset and let you have a hand in picking Butch's new family, it would have gone a long way to helping you deal with it. As far as moving to an apartment that doesnt take pets, I would live in my car first. With my cat. I too had my parents get rid of my cats when money got tight (oddly enough, never the dog, apparently she was considered more useful, maybe in guarding the house?) and promise to "get me a new one in the spring", but when the dog was dying of kidney failure I was away at school and they did not tell me, they just put her down the night before I came home for the weekend. Some things are so hard to forgive and forget, like you, it has been about 15 years since Princess and I am still not happy with my mother.
I think you and Beckiboo are right, and I am sorry that the two of you had to experience the same type of heartache with your pets. The bond is just not appreciated. Even though parents do what they think is best, they don't understand the damage emotionally it can cause. I wasnt even allowed to see where my mother gave my cats away because she thought it would just be too painful for me. In retrospect she may have been right. I probably would have scooped them up and taken them back. But I would never do that to my kids either. The guilt I have over abandonong them, even though it wasnt my choice, is still weighty. I always imagined them wondering where I had gone, or why I had just given them up, and it still makes me sad. And when I think of Butch wondering that, it is really crushing. We were just the best of friends, and he must have felt like I betrayed him.
post #8 of 13
wow what a story.

I, as a new mother, hope that I can appreciate the bond my daughter is likey to have with our boys - but having said that, as a mother, we also do whatever we can to protect our children for heartache. Its a fine line isnt it.

be gentle with yourself, it really is a comforting thought to know that Butch, and the others, WILL be there waiting for you when the time comes. I fully believe that although I am not a religious person. We never ever forget these precious creatures that make such an impact on our lives
post #9 of 13
I don’t remember how old I was, or how many years we had them, but I do remember a couple of (outdoor) cats we had that I was particularly fond of. One was all white and I called him (ready for this . . .) Snowball. (Real original.) I played with them a lot whenever it was nice enough to be outside. (Can’t remember if I was ever allowed to bring them inside.) They lived in a sheltered area under our high tall porch.

At some point, though, I broke out with something that my mother thought was ringworm, and she was just sure it came from the cats, so one day I came home, and they were gone. It hurt, but I was pretty young, and didn’t try to challenge her decision.

I also grew up with a black cocker spaniel named (ready for this . . .) Blackie. (Even less original.) We got her when we moved from the city to three acres when I was a year old. She lived until about 13.

When I finally got out in my own place after college, I acquired my first house kitty, and have had at least one ever since.
post #10 of 13
I am so sorry to hear of all of your sad stories. I will never understand how some people think a pet is disposible when they are so obviously part of our families.

Thank God I was blessed with a family who loves animals. Everyone here feels the same way.
post #11 of 13
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rockcat
I am so sorry to hear of all of your sad stories. I will never understand how some people think a pet is disposible when they are so obviously part of our families.

Thank God I was blessed with a family who loves animals. Everyone here feels the same way.
you are indeed lucky. the bond is so undeniable. Coming into "Crossing the Bridge" is very sad sometimes as it is so easy to feel the pain of those that have just lost their sweet friends. I always tear up reading the posts in this part of the forum.
post #12 of 13
Quote:
Originally Posted by sbw999
you are indeed lucky. the bond is so undeniable. Coming into "Crossing the Bridge" is very sad sometimes as it is so easy to feel the pain of those that have just lost their sweet friends. I always tear up reading the posts in this part of the forum.
I don't come here as often as I should because it is so hard. I cry every time.
post #13 of 13
When I was about 13, I had a dog named Snoopy. My Grandma loved Snoopy with all her heart. One day, our neighbor came over to say that a big dog from the next street had killed Snoopy. My Grandma was heartbroken and died shortly thereafter. I still think that she died of a broken heart.

Another incendent that comes to mind is the death of my cat, Dusty (she and her brother were part manx and a pretty orange color. Her brother was Rusty) Well, Dusty was being taken to the vet to be spayed and possibly aborted. We thought she was pregnant. The vet examined her, thought her to be healthy and pregnant. When he went to spay her, he discovered that she was NOT pregnant. She had a very severe case of paritonitis that had eaten up almost all her stomach and insides. He called my mom at work to see what she wanted to do. He could have just spayed her and sent her home but she would not live very long and she would be in a lot of pain. Mom did the only thing that she could do, have the vet put her to sleep. I know mom did the right thing but I regret not being able to say goodbye to her.
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