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Meet Mandy...

post #1 of 10
Thread Starter 
my name is mandy. And im actually the daughter of michelle...we're the ones that lost strauss. Straussey the mousey. my mom told me about this web site and suggested that i check it out. Its been two weeks sine strauss passed away. And well, i grew up with her, and its been pretty hard. I've had her since i was six, and now im 20. She was supposed to be around longer. I have no one to really talk to, except my mom, because where i am right now. no one really understands what im going though. ya know, she was "just a cat", so "get over it". i mean, i'll be sitting on the couch with my boyfriend and then i'll suddenly think of something about strauss, like how i'll never get to kiss her nose again, or something, so i'll start crying, or my mood drastically changes and hes like "whats wrong with you?" And then he says the speech "it was her time". well, no. i disagree. i guess im feeling robbed. maybe if this had been a long process, like she was sick for a long time and she was dying i could handle this a little better. but it happened within like 20 something hours, so unexpected. I tried so hard to get her to the city, i drove like crazy, and it was snowing and the roads were bad. but i just didnt care. she kept looking up at me from her basket in the passenger side, and would put her paw up and would meow. and then i would put my hand on her and she would kinda curl up and sleep for a few minutes, and as soon as i would move my hand away she would do it again. paw up, looking at me, and meow. i kept my hand on her the whole way. the awful part, was when i was only two hours into my drive and still had two to go, she started biting at the blanket, and then went still, with one of her teeth stuck in the blankey. i freaked, and pulled over. i was in the middle of nowhere. i tried getting the blanket out of her mouth, but she wouldnt move. she was breathing, but she wasnt moving and her eyes were staring at nothing, and they were starting to glaze over. like a grey layer of skin. and i cried, and i told her over and over to just wait a couple more hours...i sat there for 20 minutes, until i finally told her, just go...if your suffering straussey, just go. its ok...and then she came out of it. and i just gunned it to the city. i drove as fast as i could, i got there in record timing. she wasnt doing very good so as soon as i got in the city i stopped at a gas station to call my mom and tell her i needed to take her to a vet, where is one. she tells me where to go, we both werent really making sense on the phone. when i got back in the car i looked over at strauss, and she had started drooling, so i took off again. i was 15 minutes away. traffic was stupid, i was screaming in my car, crying, looking at strauss, yelling at cars...people who looked over at me probably thought i was crazy. and literally, as i pulled in the vet parking lot, she died. i was there! i had driven 4 hours, made it to my destination and she quits on me, right there. i ran in the vet, frantically crying my cats mouth is foaming!! a girl ran out and brought her in, and two minutes later, another girl brings me into a room and tells me shes gone. i was so mad. it was like a cruel joke. give me hope and then smash it in seconds. they brought strauss in so i could say goodbye and left me alone with her...it was unreal. she died in such an awkward position, and she was stiff and her mouth was kinda open...and i was petting her, and ahh...im getting upset...it was so hard. then i had to call my mom....it was horrible...i've never felt more guilty and helpless in my life...so many "ifs". if i would have done that, or this, would she be alive today? wow, im sorry, i've wrote so much. its just crazy...
post #2 of 10
Hi Mandy, i posted the pictures of Strauss for your mum, and i can only imagine what you must have went through

I don't think anything can prepare us for losing one of our animals even if it's expected, but to have one leave you in such a short space of time must be even more upsetting.

Strauss is playing happily over the bridge now though, so try and not think of how you last saw Strauss, and you did everything you could to help him so please don't beat yourself up
post #3 of 10
Originally Posted by rosiemac
Strauss is playing happily over the bridge now though, so try and not think of how you last saw Strauss, and you did everything you could to help him so please don't beat yourself up
you did all you could. to you during this time - it'll get easier, trust me
post #4 of 10
hey, mandy! I know what you mean about people saying, "it's only a cat, a pet, whatever." To heck with them! No, it is a family member, a best friend, an angel sent from God to love us unconditionally. You come here and post all you like, get it out, and we will listen and support you. I send hugs and prayers. Bobbie
post #5 of 10
OH man, your post made me cry.
Having just lost my baby four days ago... I know how you feel. (the deep gut wrenching sobs)

I am so sorry for all you two went through... how very upsetting.

You both are in my thoughts.
God Bless and rip sweet baby!
xo Donna
post #6 of 10
Hi Mandy, I am glad to meet you. I am sorry for your sudden loss. How terrible to know that you would do anything, and in fact did try going to a trusted vet, and yet you were unable to save her.

Here is a link to the thread where Strauss' pics are posted. http://www.thecatsite.com/forums/sho...hlight=strauss
Just be aware that the first few posters did not realize that Strauss had passed.

Words won't help much at this point; you are going through a very painful time, and no one can take that from you. Just let your bf know that you are still grieving, whether he fully understands or not. Tell him what you need. Let him know that although it hurts terribly, you do not expect him to make it better. (He can't, anyhow.) If you want to be distracted, he can do that. If you want to talk about your feelings, he can listen. Or maybe you just need him to hold you and let you be sad or even let you cry. Sometimes that is the hardest thing for a loved one to do, just hold you as you cry.

You are among friends here at TCS. Although we don't know your exact feelings, many here have also lost a dear kitty friend. I hope you will find some peace as you share your memories of Straussey the Mousey.
post #7 of 10
Mandy, what a horrible ordeal you've gone through! It's hard enough losing a life-long friend, but to have to endure what you did makes it especially heart breaking. Here we know that Strauss was not "just a cat"...she was your friend, and moreover, a member of your family. Know that we know that. Know that she knew that. She was with you when she passed, hearing your voice, and looking in your eyes. Take as much comfort from that as you can, and take comfort from the fact that you quite literally did everything you could for your baby.

Come back here any time you need to talk to those who understand.
post #8 of 10
Thank you for joining us on TCS, Mandy. Condolences on your sad loss of Strauss. I appreciate your sharing your story; your valiant drive, Strauss's heroic efforts to "hang on". I have no doubt that when you had to stop, it might very well have been "it", but I feel that her "holding paws" with you was to comfort you, as well as the comfort that your touch gave her. And when you arrived at the vet's, Strauss knew that those humans would take care of you, and that it was okay to leave. After all, you were HER baby-girl for so many years, and she would wanted to care for you, seeing that you were upset.
As for the "it was her time" remarks - there are 2 ways to look at it. It can sometimes make things easier to bear - I am reading a book written by a 101 year-old man whose father told him that when the man was 10 and they'd just seen a dear teen-aged friend get hung by a lynch-mob and they were powerless to help. The man's father went on to explain that the victim, Petey, was in a better place and not suffering anymore.
However, it can also be an insensitive remark - it was what I was told by a co-worker when I'd lost my horse. So I calmly told him, "Oh, okay. So if you get killed driving to Reno tonight, I'll remember that for your eulogy, in case anyone at your funeral wants to cry -'don't bother, it was his time to go'." the guy got so upset it made me realize how afraid of death he was; the rest of our co-workers couldn't stop laughing.
You did a great job of driving that night - I am very impressed. And I am sure that you had to do the long drive home, as well - I only wish that I had been able to be there with you.
Take care of yourself, Mandy, and please let us know how you are doing.
Hugs, susan
post #9 of 10
I am so sorry for your loss. I understand how you are feeling, because I lost my little Vinnie in June.

Be patient with yourself and allow yourself to grieve, boy I know I did.... Keep the memories that you have close to your heart, it will get easier with time, but you will never stop missing her.

RIP Sweet Strauss
post #10 of 10
Mandy, this is so heart breaking! I'm so incredibly sorry you lost your baby. Strauss is so very beautiful and knows just how much you love her! Your feelings of guilt are natural, but please know you did absolutely everything you could to help her. Now, your precious little girl is so happy and in perfect health in Heaven, and the two of you will one day be reunited. You are in my prayers during this painful time. Please know I'm here for you if you need a friend to talk to.
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