Sorry, just need a little comfort :( ...

And you people are the best when it comes to that. I'm just feeling really low right now. I'm running up for my first christmas without my little boy - as I can't go back to the UK to see him. Even if I could go back, I wouldn't be able to see him because it's upsetting for him. That's understandable really.... and I don't want to cause him any more hurt than I already have. But what I woudlnl't give just to see his little fact.... just to hold his hand or give him a hug and tell him how sorry I am and how much I love him. It's so painful - I have his pictures on display in our livingroom and he's turning into such a handsome little man. In my heart of hearts I know I did the right thing to let him have a second chance at a life he wouldn't have had with me, but it hurts so much to know I let him down so badly. I wish I could even stand in a crowd and see him from a distance.... where he couldn't see me. I know he's happy and he's healthy and he's so incredibly well looked after - his step-mum and his dad are putting so much effort into him. I'm so proud of my little boy - he can read and write and count and add and all on levels that you wouldn't expect from a 5 year old.... I just wish I could tell him that I write and I send pictures... but I really want nothing more than a cuddle.

I'm sorry... I just had to let it out. BEtter out than in, they say eh?

Emma, I know that Alex knows in his heart how much you love him and I'm sure he doesn't feel that you let him down!

You're his Mummy and he will always know that!

It will be difficult for you, but I know that Rune will take great care of you and Alex will be having a wonderful time knowing that you're safe and happy!

Sending lots of loving }}}VIBES{{{ to you and Alex!

It must be so hard for you.

aw emma
I know the pain is so strong that its unable to heal. But you still have us!





*hugs* maybe instead of going to thailand you can come and visit soggy me

Oh that sounds so hard. I don't know your full situation but from what you've said here I understand you are in an incredably hard place.
I'm sure your baby is happy and I hope you have an excellent Christmas xxx

Lauren

oh emma!

sending you thought and hugs for xmas

Emma, I don't know if this is a good idea or not, but perhaps you could start a writing project for him to (perhaps) give to him later in life when he understands things better? Just start a journal where you write to him. Tell him everything you want to say to him that as a 5 year old he may not be able to understand yet. You can decide in years to come whether or not to actually give it to him, but it's there if he ever needs to know why things happened in his life. And he will know how much you love him.

That's so sad. I feel for you...

Originally Posted by valanhb

Emma, I don't know if this is a good idea or not, but perhaps you could start a writing project for him to (perhaps) give to him later in life when he understands things better? Just start a journal where you write to him. Tell him everything you want to say to him that as a 5 year old he may not be able to understand yet. You can decide in years to come whether or not to actually give it to him, but it's there if he ever needs to know why things happened in his life. And he will know how much you love him.

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That sounds to me like a really good idea.

Thinking of you Emma -- be gentle with yourself

Emma,

You did an unselfish act when you gave him over to his dad. You understood that for a time, you would be unable to really be his mom and you didn't want him to suffer because of it.

I love Heidi's idea, and you could also do a scrapbook for him as well that goes along with the journal. He is so young, of course he is confused about what happened. But, hopefully as he matures, he will understand you did a loving thing and will only hold love in his heart for you and not anger.

I'm so sorry Emma.... I wish I could make you feel better..

I am really sorry you are feeling so bad, I hope things turn around for you someday

That's such a awfully hard situation to be in. Sending you some
I really like Heidi's idea of the journal. It'll help you to write down what you're feeling now and it'll help him when he's old enough to understand.

thanks guys you all mean the world to me

Originally Posted by hissy

Emma,

You did an unselfish act when you gave him over to his dad. You understood that for a time, you would be unable to really be his mom and you didn't want him to suffer because of it.

I love Heidi's idea, and you could also do a scrapbook for him as well that goes along with the journal. He is so young, of course he is confused about what happened. But, hopefully as he matures, he will understand you did a loving thing and will only hold love in his heart for you and not anger.

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Couldn't have said it better.

More good thoughts and hugs going your way.

Originally Posted by valanhb

Emma, I don't know if this is a good idea or not, but perhaps you could start a writing project for him to (perhaps) give to him later in life when he understands things better? Just start a journal where you write to him. Tell him everything you want to say to him that as a 5 year old he may not be able to understand yet. You can decide in years to come whether or not to actually give it to him, but it's there if he ever needs to know why things happened in his life. And he will know how much you love him.

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What a wise piece of advice. Just maintain contact with your son. Things will work out. God bless and give you strength.