Lord, give me strength

Two women have been by my office today, both looking for Christmas assistance. One had two kids in tow, the other told me she had five at home and nothing to give them.

Our office doesn't handle assistance directly -- we refer people to our denomination's local agency, which DOES conduct a Christmas assistance drive, but the registration for it was over six weeks ago and presents were handed out weekend before last, wrapped and ready. I can't do anything to help these ladies and I doubt that anybody else could, either, even if they go to any of the places I suggested which both of them turned their noses up about. "They don't have anything," one of them said.

It is going to sound ridiculous and crabby, but I was SO resentful of those women for making me look like a mean old scrooge. LOL I wish I could have handed each of them a hundred bucks and made their day, but working for a church doesn't pay me enough money to buy presents for my OWN family. lol

This post is really just a whine. I fell really dumb. I just wanted to get it out of my system. I know someone who is trying to support five kids is way past me on the Entitled To Whine list, particularly if they don't have any Christmas money, but I just wish I didn't feel so helpless.

you shouldnt feel bad about it.........most people know that if they need assistance for christmas and stuff know that there is a cute off date and it is usualy in november..........it is not your fault other people like to do things at the last minute. you do what you can to help others and that is all that you can do..cheer up and think of all the people you did help and forget about the crabby ones

Aw, I can totally see where that would be frustrating, Vibiana. I think you handled it well, and it's great that your church gave gifts and assistance to needy families this month.
Honestly, I often wonder why those who are needy have five kids in the first place. To me, it's just like pets -- if you don't have the means to take care of them, don't have them!

Gee seems like they shouldn't have waited so late to look for a little help, but that's out of your control...I'm sure there are some programs somewhere for a little something.

This may be going off of the subject just a "tad" but why do people continue having kids if they are not stable to begin with.
Not very fair to those poor kids that are being brought into this world having nothing, and continue having nothing their whole loves unless they decide to pay attention in school and be different. (Which everyone knows that most kids who are born into poverty, end up that way as adults)

Im sorry, I guess Im whining too. I just hate hearing about kids who may never know what it is like to have things.

Bless all of the kids in this world that suffer this way. I pray for them.


Oh and by the way... dont feel bad!! You did all you could do for them. Which is more than most would do.
~SARAH~

Originally Posted by Big-Cat-Fan

This may be going off of the subject just a "tad" but why do people continue having kids if they are not stable to begin with.

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I know this sounds horrible and mean, but I think *some* its because of welfare. Why would they have to work if the government can keep "assisting" them based on the number of kids they have.
Also I think some don't realise or believe in free birth control...I know Michigan's Planned Parenthood will give you free b.c. if you do not have insurance or a job.

I remember one place I worked at a lady was wondering why I hadn't had a child yet...I was 25 at the time. I told her that it was because I want to establish myself financially before I decide to have any. She couldn't understand...she said that her kids were worth going into debt for. I guess its just really how you're raised/what you believe.

Anyhoo, V, no worries...every job has a day when you have to be mean to someone. No matter what you do. All you can do is handle the situation to the best of your knowledge.

I think you handled it just fine. And I know how you feel. I see people all the time on my job who are out of work. Lots have a bunch of kids they can't provide for properly. Some it is because they became disabled for one reason or another, some I just don't know. I hear about it a lot but I just try to be positive. I can't give anything either, that's totally not my job, but I just try to encourage them that there will be better days ahead!

Originally Posted by Vibiana

Two women have been by my office today, both looking for Christmas assistance. One had two kids in tow, the other told me she had five at home and nothing to give them.

Our office doesn't handle assistance directly -- we refer people to our denomination's local agency, which DOES conduct a Christmas assistance drive, but the registration for it was over six weeks ago and presents were handed out weekend before last, wrapped and ready. I can't do anything to help these ladies and I doubt that anybody else could, either, even if they go to any of the places I suggested which both of them turned their noses up about. "They don't have anything," one of them said.

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Just remember, some people just go to churches for the money, when they really don't "need" it. I had a neighbor once who would go from church to church asking for money. Then she complained when one church insisted they attend services for her to get any money. My other neighbor, who I was friends with, was made to feel so guilty over this woman that every time she bought groceries for herself (and her house full of kids), she bought several bags for the beggar neighbor. She was just a major user!

I'm not saying for certain this is what was happening, but that is why the churches and others who donate set up a little system and do these things early. So it really goes to those in need.

They did not need to turn up their noses at your offers of help. I work with quite a few people who are truly in need, and often help get them free medications. Some never say thanks, others are very kind, but what gets me is the ones who need something free, immediately, and don't want the bother of coming to get it. What, would you like me to bring it to you on my day off? I have no problem helping, a lot. But my company motto is "Helping people help themselves." Just remember they need to meet you half way, and do their part so you can help.

You know what they say hun... beggars can't be choosers. You don't need to feel like a scrooge - you'd have helped them if you could. You couldn't and that's all there is to it. It's a sorry thing when they feel they can have a hand out just because they come and ask for one.... they do have to meet you halfway. It is Christmas and all, and yes they'll be feeling the pinch, but people who really are in need of the help won't turn teir noses up at those offers of help that you have given them.

Thanks for the words of comfort. I do have to grinch just a bit, because the one who told me she had five kids also said she had a four-bedroom house. Well, I'm the fifth of five kids, and we lived in a THREE-bedroom house which meant at least one of us was in the (unfinished) basement until the older ones started moving out. LOL No, I didn't tell her that, but I did think it, later ...

In spite of myself I hate being so cynical. It's just that working for the church I have seen too many families who, as an earlier poster wrote, go from church to church asking for money. I've also known of people who sign up for every Christmas assistance program in town, causing churches to have to do the same kind of bean-counting that the welfare programs do so that the most people can be helped. *sigh*

I just got this in an email from Holy Cross Family Ministries, written by Fr. Robert deLeon, and I thought it might help encourage you:

"In Mother Teresa's children's home in Calcutta, a wall poster reminds her sisters of their daily mission to be bearers of peace even as the piercing shriek of human misery and discord screeches above them. Originally composed by Harvard student Kent M. Keith in 1968, Mother Teresa took his wise words home to encourage her sisters in their work. Entitled "The Paradoxical Commandments," they stand as a testament to the mission of all people who would be healers. "(1) People are illogical, unreasonable and self centered. Love them anyway. (2) If you do good, people will accuse you of selfish ulterior motives. Do good anyway. (3) If you are successful, you will win false friends and true enemies. Succeed anyway. (4) The good you do today will be forgotten tomorrow. Do good anyway. (5) Honesty and frankness make you vulnerable. Be honest and frank anyway. (6) The biggest men and women with the biggest ideas can be shot down by the smallest men and women with the smallest minds. Think big anyway. (7) People favor underdogs but follow only top dogs. Fight for the underdogs anyway. (8) What you spend years building may be destroyed overnight. Build anyway. (9) People really need help but may attack you if you do help them. Help people anyway. (10) Give the world the best you have and you'll probably get kicked in the teeth. Give the world the best you have anyway."

It's a scary world out there! But we have precious gifts to deliver, gifts that promise healing for the world's woes. We may suffer dearly in our attempt to deliver those gifts, may be disheartened in our mission, but we remember this day an angel's startling appearance to terrified shepherds tending their flocks in the fields outside Bethlehem. "The angel said to them, 'Do not be afraid; for see, I am bringing you good news of great joy for all the people.'" (Luke 2:10) Let us take courage this Christmas Day as the roar of human misery and discord screeches overhead. Let us take courage this Christmas Day for the gift we have yet to deliver promises healing. Let us take courage this Christmas Day for the gift we've yet to deliver is God's Own Son."