Depressed kitty

My 4-year-old is not happy about the arrival of a 6-mo old kitten. Ever since the kitten's arrival, she stops being affectionate--does not want me pet her, stay at arm's length, does not sleep with me anymore etc., and at the same time has decreased her food intake a lot. She has lost some weight, I don't know how much. She's one of those cats that won't let you hold her, so I can't go with her to my bathroom scale. You know how when we are depressed we look aweful? She looks like that--like her high spirits have disappeared. A problem is that my kitten wants to play, and go near my 4-year old often. My 4-year old hates it and just hisses, growls, and hides when the kitten is anywhere near. My vet says there is no physical problem with her, but to just give them time.

She also gets a supervised 15 minute in the balcony everyday. And she always returns after exploring. Yesterday, she ran away for a whole day during the balcony trip. I guess she doesn't like home anymore? At night, I saw her sitting on a far away wood fence. I called her name, and she responded with meow, but wouldn't come back to the balcony. I went out and get her into a carrier and brought her home.. I think the kitten (which has been with us for 6 weeks now) is stressing out my 4-year-old. I play with the kitten a lot--he has a lot of chasing energy which I try to "use up" with the laser pointer game. He also has tons of toys, but everytime he sees my 4-year-old, he'll stop whatever game we're plyaing and chase my 4-year old. They have been taking Bach's rescue remedie ever since the kitten's arrival to no avail. I love them both very much. Do you all have any suggestions?

Thanks!
Annie

Maybe she is jealous of the time you are spending with the new kitten. I'm sure you're not neglecting her, but do you have special time set aside to spend playing/loving the older cat like you do the kitten?

I'm sure she feels like her space is being invaded. How did you introduce them? Maybe going through the whole introduction process again would help.

Hope this helps! Keep us posted.

Check out the advice by BadHabit in this thread:

addition of a new cat

Yes they had a proper introduction. Separated at first, introduce scent first, try to make the presence of the other cat enjoyable by using treats. I tried to have them eat on either side of the door, but the problem is that my 4-year-old never had any huge desire for food, even before the kitten came. And with the 4-year-old losing weight, I don't want to stress her out at her eating times (she was already underweight to begin with becuase she always eat less than the normal amount). The closest that I have gotten them to eat togehter is 5 feet apart. I try to spend time with the 4-year-old too, when she is not hiding, but she is often hiding because the kitten is quite rambucious. The 2 cats never fought, and the kitten has never tried to attack. I think the kitten just wants to get up close. It's just that when the kitten got too close, my 4-year-old would hiss. But if they are 2 feet apart, they tolerate the presence of each other...

Well, all I can say is exactly what your vet said...give them time. When I first brought home 2 new kittens to my 1 year old cat, he hated them so much, that he acted like your 4-year old is. He would hide under chairs, stay in the opposite room that the kitties were in. If I played with Noah(1-year old), the kittens would want to join, then Noah would run away and have no part of it. He would hiss and swat at them. It took about 2 weeks for Noah to warm up to the kittens, but it took even longer for him to come around me the same way he used to. And it wasn't until I had to give up one of the kittens because of allergies that he really went back to normal. I think it was the one kitten that he just did not like. I noticed he really got close to Cleo, the kitten we kept, but he still didn't really like Merridean. Maybe it's a matter of time to wait, but maybe they will never get along. I don't really know. Just thought I would relay my story to you. Good luck, I hope everything works out well for you.

I have had my kitten for about a year now and he still is not accepted by our 5 year old female cat Lucy.

As my kitten grew up he became more aggressive and started biting Lucy. She gets abcesses that are very nasty because of these bites.
They have the same kind of relationship that you are describing between your cats. He tries to play and she hisses and wants him to keep his distance, for good reasons.

I had my kitten neutered right away to try and curb the agression, but he is still very wild. I also tried the re-introduction, but it didn't work. So at the moment I keep them seperated all the time. Lucy's mood changed right away. She would let me pet her and wanted to sleep with me again.

My vet recommened herbal therapy. I put 2 drops of Rescue Remedy in their water everyday and I don't clean their water bowl w/soap anymore. I also put in 2 drops of Beech flower essence this is supposed to ease the tension between fighting cats. You can buy these at any vitamin shop. It seems to be helping they ate together this morning, less than a foot between one another.

I hope this is helpful, good luck.

Thanks for all your input. I think I'll just wait and see what happens. And I'll try also the Beech flower essence on top of the Rescue remedie they are already getting.
Thanks!
Annie