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I'm thinking of quitting fostering...has anyone else ever quit?!?

post #1 of 17
Thread Starter 
As posted on the preggers board, on Sugartoes thread:
Well, Sugartoes is eating just fine. And she is sleeping in bed with dh and I. Before, she would sleep on our bed during the day, but never stayed all night in bed with us. And this morning she woke me up at 8 am to get up and feed her. (I am always up by 8am, even on the weekends.) I should have told her that I am off work this week and could sleep in.

So while I am worried about fostering 9 cats, with my two keepers, Sugar is now fine. She thinks she has found her forever home. And I am thinking about giving up fostering. Sugar is such a sweetie. And my former feral Blue is a doll, jumped on my lap this morning for some loving! (How feral is THAT?!?!) I'm starting to want to keep Sugar, Red, and Blue. And that is just because the kittens are too little to play with much, I'm sure in a few weeks I'll be wanting all 11. Maybe I'll just keep some, and retire from fostering.

Plus we want a new GIANT breed pup-possibly a Newf. So maybe I'll just keep the best kitties, send the rest on, and switch to a puppy.

I have fostered 26 cats since April 04, starting with finding Festie's preggers Momma. 8 were adopted out, 5 died , 1 more was adopted out but lost by the adoptive home, and I kept 3. It's not the work, or the deaths that is getting to me, it is the beloved kitties. They are getting harder to give up! And I do not want to make 20 year commitments to too many little kitties!

Has anyone else fostered for a while, then quit? Or are you still fostering, and how do you do it? Maybe I'll just take a break after this crowd gets adopted, while we work with the puppy. (They are so much more high maintenance than a kitten!) But for now, I'm feeling like my fostering days may be over!
post #2 of 17
Take a break if you feel like you need it. Or quit altogether! You can always un-quit whenever you want.

Personally, I desperately want a break. Unfortunately, I need to single-handedly adopt out the 20 or so fosters I still have from this summer. Don't get me wrong, I love them all. But at this point I want nothing more than a relatively quiet house with just me and my own cats!
post #3 of 17
Thread Starter 
Well, I'm fine with keeping the ones I have, until they are ready to go. I just need to decide, then let the ladies who manage the agency know I'm off the list for newbies. They are really low pressure, never trying to push more kitties than I will take. But I am aware that they turn some away.

Can you easily back out of your foster agency? I know it is always tight, and cats are in need, but it is probably better to take a break and come back to it, than to give it up permanently! And I think that is more what I will do...just take a long break.
post #4 of 17
Bless you all for the hard work that you have already done for so many! You deserve a break, indeed! I will pray & pray for some new homes to open up, esp. for semiferal, who sounds like she's in an isolated situation - accomplishing so much all alone - true heroism!!
post #5 of 17
Quote:
Originally Posted by Beckiboo
Well, I'm fine with keeping the ones I have, until they are ready to go. I just need to decide, then let the ladies who manage the agency know I'm off the list for newbies. They are really low pressure, never trying to push more kitties than I will take. But I am aware that they turn some away.

Can you easily back out of your foster agency? I know it is always tight, and cats are in need, but it is probably better to take a break and come back to it, than to give it up permanently! And I think that is more what I will do...just take a long break.
I have taken a break from fostering after the kitten died of pneumonia. Fortunately the group I volunteer with has a ranch where they keep cats, so it isn't as pressing for me to foster. I am actually thinking about fostering a cat that just came back to us...the person who returned him said she had just gotten new hardwood floors and berber carpet and was tired of all the hair and the litter tracking everywhere.

Katie
post #6 of 17
I don't have an organization to work with so I do whatever I can afford and have time for.
post #7 of 17
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by TNR1
I have taken a break from fostering after the kitten died of pneumonia. Fortunately the group I volunteer with has a ranch where they keep cats, so it isn't as pressing for me to foster. I am actually thinking about fostering a cat that just came back to us...the person who returned him said she had just gotten new hardwood floors and berber carpet and was tired of all the hair and the litter tracking everywhere.

Katie
I guess its good that I am too poor to fix up my house, then. Goodness knows I wouldn't want any fur on new carpet! And we try so hard to filter out the poor owners...I guess no one asked her if she realized these cats came with fur....Yes, that kitty may be in need of some special care from someone whe really cares.
post #8 of 17
Quote:
Originally Posted by Beckiboo
I guess its good that I am too poor to fix up my house, then. Goodness knows I wouldn't want any fur on new carpet! And we try so hard to filter out the poor owners...I guess no one asked her if she realized these cats came with fur....Yes, that kitty may be in need of some special care from someone whe really cares.
When I bought my condo..it came with hardwood floors and berber carpet...and yet...I still have my cats.

Katie
post #9 of 17
Beckiboo: I advise you take a long break and come back when your heart has healed and you feel stronger and better able to let them go as they
need to.

I used to foster, and I don't anymore.
I got so attached to one smokey grey little guy,
at one point, that it almost broke my heart to find him a home.

And look what happened with Lexi, LOL! I was supposed to be fostering her,
looking for a home on PetFinder and the vets - and lookie see - she's
still here!!! (And I turned down 2 good homes for her!!)

And now there's Grey... (who's in the basement as we speak, poor
dear probably hates being there, but its gonna go to 15 tonight,
and its pretty windy... so I'm not letting him out till he has had
a good long snooze down there... and by then, he's probably NOT
gonna want to go back out - i hope!!)

I probably don't do well as foster mom cause I get too attached
to the darlings... too invested!

Although, its great to hear Sugar is happy back with you. She may
yet find a good home - keep looking.

I and all on this board salute you for your work. Foster parents have the toughest and most necessary job - letting go!!
post #10 of 17
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by semiferal
I don't have an organization to work with so I do whatever I can afford and have time for.
Wow, that is way over what I am doing. Too bad you can't find a rescue who will help, at least with medical expenses. And my rescue gets lots of donations of food, like I just got 2 bags of science diet saturday. (Too bad my adult cats won't eat science diet, even the barn cats turn up their nose at it! LOL!)

Yeah, I think I'm taking a break. One of my previous cats was lost by the adoptive owner, she had been at another foster home, and it had been months since I had seen her...but still sad to think of Jill out on the streets! And then Sugartoes, I was almost in tears at the adoption show, looking her in the eyes. She did blinkies with me, she blinked first. I apologized to her so many times. It just really feels bad to know someone thinks you dumped her! Anyhow, in typical cat fashion, I believe she has thoroughly forgiven me. And when she is rehomed, if she is, I will just have to do some home visits to ensure she knows she is ok.

Thanks for the kind words, Opilot, and all your great advice.

Katie, it is just craziness, isn't it? Which one of your cats would you give up for $500? I guess some people just have something missing inside. I'm not saying I've never made mistakes with animals, because I certainly have. But that poor kitty, to be let go for a clean floor.
post #11 of 17
I took a break for a while, due to financial restraints and no time on my hands, but I'd do it again. If a needy kitty came around, I wouldn't turn it away!
post #12 of 17
I have two kinds of people in my family: those who come over and feel right at home, and those who can't see anything but the frayed couch and the spots on the rugs. Oh well, I just have to think WWJD?
post #13 of 17
Don't burn yourself out. Take a break.
post #14 of 17
Quote:
Originally Posted by Beckiboo
I have fostered 26 cats since April 04, starting with finding Festie's preggers Momma. 8 were adopted out, 5 died , 1 more was adopted out but lost by the adoptive home, and I kept 3. It's not the work, or the deaths that is getting to me, it is the beloved kitties. They are getting harder to give up! And I do not want to make 20 year commitments to too many little kitties!

Has anyone else fostered for a while, then quit? Or are you still fostering, and how do you do it? Maybe I'll just take a break after this crowd gets adopted, while we work with the puppy. (They are so much more high maintenance than a kitten!) But for now, I'm feeling like my fostering days may be over!
Becki, I'm right there with you! I've fostered 18 cats & kittens since March '05, most of them ferals. In the middle of all of this, I lost my 19 yo girl, Abbie to boot. I'm sooo over it right now! Last year I fostered for a shelter, but these were on my own...what the heck was I thinking???

One of the feral kittens I placed had to be taken out of the adoptive home. The guy called & left a message, and I paraphrase, "Mikey's not working out...I hadn't seen him in awhile, and he's lost a ton of weight & is really lethargic...I had him declawed, so at least he's not lashing out at me...he pooped on my roommate's comforter, and my roommate's threatening to kill him, so I don't know what to do..." I about died when I got that one...that more than anything has burned me out! Mikey did get rehomed, and the process of re-socializing him has begun. Now I'm down to a feral momma (all the kittens were adopted) who has just in the last couple of days "turned the corner" with me, and Beau, a feral boy that was trapped in the spring, and is due to go to his new home on the 26th.

So, I totally get where you're at!!! I've burned myself out to the point where I'm looking forward to having no cats in my house for awhile. I'll probably foster again, but through the shelter only, and only after a looong break! Don't let yourself get to the point I'm at! Take a break!
post #15 of 17
It does sound like you need a break - you have helped so many kitties. Maybe you will come back to it after a break, maybe you won't, but either way, you have done so much already. At the moment I can't imagine stopping fostering, but who knows what the future will bring - plus I haven't helped nearly that number of cats - must count up actually. Don't think I was in double figures on my first year anniversary, but things have been chaotic since then!!
post #16 of 17
Quote:
Originally Posted by Beckiboo
Wow, that is way over what I am doing. Too bad you can't find a rescue who will help, at least with medical expenses.
Sadly, rescues in this area all but refuse to even look at a local animals. They almost exclusively pull animals from shelters in nearby rural areas. Never mind that shelters in this area are also killing 70-95% of cats they take in. It is really mind-boggling to me...I don't understand how anyone can say it's a good thing to bring in animals from rural shelters and leave the local high-kill shelter as the only place that will do anything for local owner relinquished and stray animals. Sadly, around here the cats who come from the city's alleys have very few ways to find homes. I do what I can...I just wish it could be more.
post #17 of 17
Quote:
Originally Posted by Beckiboo
I guess its good that I am too poor to fix up my house, then. Goodness knows I wouldn't want any fur on new carpet!
Haha...I actualy think of it more in terms of "I don't want any carpet under the cat hair!". The cats are a given...the rest of life has to conform to that!
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