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post #1 of 15
Thread Starter 
I'm new here on Forums. I wish I could say I'm huge cat fan and I know almost everything there is to know about them but I don't. I have two cats; well let me correct myself I now have one cat. Her name is LeeLu. My aunt named her for me, My aunt is a huge cat fan and a huge animal fan she has 10 cats and 1 dog. She gave me my two cats the other cat's name was Caleb. I want to talk to you all about Caleb. Because it seems to make me feel a little bit better to talk about him. I had him and LeeLu for 5 years. On December 15 of this year my family and I had to put Caleb down. He became very sick, he had kidney stones inside of him and it was blocking him and not allowing him to use the litter box. He was posining himself from the inside. The Doctor said that he had a less than 50% chance to live unless we did something right away which could have cost my family and I up to $700 to fix him and even after that it was still less than a 50% chance he would make it out alive. Now please know that my family and I are not wealthy people he are struggling to pay bills and we are pretty much living from paycheck to paycheck. If we had the money we would have tried much harder to save him if there was a better chance for him as well. Through the five years that I've had Caleb he's been my little buddy and best friend through every minute of our lives, we seemed to just have this connection between each other. I kissed him on the head alot and pet him just has much and a whole lot more. Every night when I'd get home from work he'd come and sit on my lap and I'd pet him for as long as an hour at a time or more. He cheered me up and I cheered him up. We were the best of friends. He was my best friend. He had gotten sick about December 10th but about December 12th he seemed to perk right back up and be his normal self again but after that day he went downhill and kept slipping we decided to take him to the vet and we got the bad news. We had to let him go I didn't want him to suffer and for the past few days that's what he had been doing. And now after putting him down I feel very guilty about doing it. I feel like I killed him and now I can only remember the bad stuff all the times I didn't feel like petting him and shoowed him away, now I wish I would have pet him all the time. I know I pet him alot like I said I pet him two or three times a day not every day but 6 out of 7 days I pet him and kissed him. He means so much to me and now I can't help but think that because I let him go I killed him. He was my sweet boy and I should have been the one that got the needle not him. You all should have seen his face when the Vet took him to the back to put him to sleep, he didn't even know what was going on. In his face he was gone. I've been crying ever since we put him to sleep until my mother sat me down this past friday and told me it wasn't my fault and he lived a great live. He loved me and I loved him. I know I have to let him go and I know he is up in heave but I can't let him go and I want him hear with me. I love him so much and it hurts so bad right now. If I could have died from him I would have, I don't care that he was a cat and I am a human a life is a life and he didn't deserve to lose his. I don't know how to let him go. Can anyone help me. God Bless You Caleb I'll see you later.

post #2 of 15
First welcome to the site.

Second, I am sorry for your loss. Caleb sounds like he was a very special cat.

I had a special cat too: Beau. He was with me 17 years before his kidneys started failing. We tried many things and would have gone into credit card debt if it meant giving him a good quality of life with us for as long as he had. The reality was that nothing was going to give hime that quality of life that you would even expect from a 17 year old cat. I feel guilty from time to time - after all I was the one that made the decision. I did it for him, so he could rest in peace.

Caleb knew you loved him. Caleb loves you too and will be waiting for you, happy and healthy, over the rainbow bridge.
post #3 of 15
I have been in the position of having to decide to let a beloved pet go, too. Let me tell your, even if you had spent $1,000.00, the moment your cat is gone it does not ease the pain at all. A loss is a loss, but it certainly makes it harder when you are the one to say, "Let the suffering end."

I wish your vet had let you stay with Caleb when he passed. I was with my Mattie, and she was gone so quickly and so peacefully. It really helped me to know she did not feel any pain, just the release from pain.

I am sorry for your loss. I suggest you put together some good memories of Caleb. If that is pictures, or a drawing, and his favorite crinkle ball (or other toy), maybe even his favorite treat. Put together something to help you recall the happy times.

A few days is not very long to adjust to the idea of what was a totally healthy cat being gone. But he is safely over the Rainbow Bridge. You are sweet to say you would give your life for Caleb, but since that is not an option, you must go on. And someday when you are reunited he will greet you, and you can tell him all about the other beloved furbabies you will have in your future.

post #4 of 15
Thread Starter 
Thank you all for those kind words. I miss him so much. Ever since I lost him this past Thursday after a couple of days of crying my mother sat me down and told me that I had to let him go even if it was just a little bit, because if I didn't I would have made myself sick with all the crying I was doing. See I'm only 23 and my father and I took Caleb to the Vet and when the Vet gave us the bad news I looked over at my Father a grown man had tears in his eyes already. I couldn't help but think here are two grown men crying their eyes out over a cat, because supposedly men are supposed to be the strong ones; the ones that are made out of steal or something and we were crying. My mother couldn't be with us that day as she had to work but we called her to ask her advice on what to do with the situation althought we already knew in a way. I miss him so much and I love him so much and even though it only helps a little I'm glad to have an idea about what it's like on the other side. See I have health problems that I was born with. A couple years before we got Caleb and LeeLu I had a cardiac arrest and my heart stopped for just a very short time and I had the best dream of my life and I knew I was there. All that talk about seeing the light is bologna and I know Caleb is dreaming right now of him and I playing in the middle of our living room floor just playing with each other and having fun and that helps ease the pain ever so slightly. LeeLu is missing him to I know because she has changed alot in just short amount of time. She used to be a very very shy cat and now she's starting to come around us a lot more. Not that I don't love LeeLu it's just different than having Caleb around. I love him so much. God Bless You All and all of your pets and God Bless Caleb.

post #5 of 15
I am glad you are making a little progress. I am catching up on your thread kinda late, so please forgive me. I have had to make the awful decision to let go a few times myself. You did what was in the best intrest of Caleb,and he knew that. I wish I could fast-foward time a little bit so you can see that it will get easier day by day, then one day you will be able to think of him happily and smile all the grief and pain will be replaced by fond, loving memories. You will never forget Caleb, and Caleb will never forget you. You will meet him again at RB he will be your lap kitty for eternity.

RIP sweet Caleb
post #6 of 15
Condolences on your loss of dear Caleb. You did the right thing by letting Caleb go to a better place, where he isn't suffering anymore, and he is being loved and petted by the angels. To keep him alive would have been selfish, because he would have been sick and miserable. Now you are left behind, to feel the pain, but see how much LeeLu needs you, now more than ever. Caleb had a good life, and you will someday give another kittycat a good home, too. There are many cats here on earth who need you very, very much! I am sure of it! By the way, welcome to TCS - now Caleb can hang out with our other TCS kitties who crossed over Rainbow Bridge and enjoy watching down over us.
Please keep writing to us about this - it makes us feel better to know that we are not the only ones who feel this way. And remember that someday you
will be helping someone else get over the loss of their cat! Hugs, Susan
post #7 of 15
Oh, you did the best you could! You loved him, and you did not let him suffer. he is looking down on you from the bridge and is sending love to you. YOU KNOW THAT! We all support you and are loving you, too.
I know it is so devastating, but time will help. Come talk to us. PM me if you need to! Bobbie
post #8 of 15
Thread Starter 
Today was a Secret Santa day at work, and my SS got me a gift that I had been talking about and it's something from my childhood. It's a BedTime Bear Care Bears Stuffed Bear. I had been talking about it for a long time because when I was younger I used to collect Care Bears, and as I grew up I stopped collecting for a little while but started back up not to long ago. I got it home and I was looking at it and I couldn't help but think about my little buddy Caleb. Once again I let my emotions get the better of me and shed a few tears for my sweet boy. I know he's in heaven and the good lord is watching over him for me. LeeLu I know is feeling pain to as she has changed a bit and has really started to come around a lot more. She mostly comes to me as if she knows that I'm hurting and I know she is hurting as well. I'm actually petting her as I type this message. She is so cute and a lot of her shyness towards me an my other family members is starting to fade. She is doing a lot of stuff that she doesn't normally do but Caleb did a lot. For example if I'm sitting in a chair she'll put her to front paws up on the chair and let me pet her, she used to never do that and Caleb did it a lot. I think maybe a little bit of Calebs joyful spirit has soaked into her. Thank you all very much for all the support through this hard time. I think Christmas is going to be the hardest day for me since the day of his death as it will be the first Christmas in 5 Christmas's that he won't be here with me. I miss him and I love him so very much. God Bless You All and All of Your Pets and God Bless My Sweet Caleb Boy.

post #9 of 15
How are you doing, Caleb2000? I know you still hurt over losing your sweet Caleb kitty. But I would ask that you continue to post at The Cat Site. Maybe go to the new members forum, and post an introduction. Or just pop over to the lounge, there is always something going on there. You will find lots of great cat people here.

I can't believe Care Bears are still popular. My oldest daughter (22 y/o) got a giant care bear for the younger kids, and they just love it. We have an old Care Bears video, too. I guess you never outgrow the fun things of your childhood. (I know I still have a few dolls and a giant teddy bear!)
post #10 of 15
I'm very sorry to hear of Caleb's loss. He sounds like a very special kitty. I would like to welcome you to TCS..and I hope that you continue to feel a bit better each day.
post #11 of 15
Thread Starter 
Well as you all were right each day is getting better, I still think about Caleb sometimes, I thought about him on Christmas Day for a few moments than I thought it wouldn't be right for me to spoil the fun of everyone around me by crying so I held onto it for later. Today I took a ride going to the store to pick up a few things I took a ride the old country way that has a tremendous view of the lakes and the woods, very nice ride and it's easy to lose yourself in deep thought when you're on this right and I started to think about Caleb a bit and it helped to talk about him some. I still miss him quite a bit and although I don't think about him everyday I think about him at least twice a week sometimes happy memories and sometimes about the day when we let him go. Some of the guilt has passed. I know he's in a good place right now and he's looking down on me and I prey for him a lot. I'm never going to forget him because I love him so much and I always will. I hope everyone had a happy holiday and I hope everyone has a great New Years as well, but please remember to be safe and smart. Thank you all for your support, it is greatly appreciated. God Bless You All. God Bless Caleb.

post #12 of 15
I'm so sorry for your loss. Caleb sounds like a very special cat. Thinking of both of you.
post #13 of 15

He sounds like a very special cat and one that knew he was loved very much. Please don't feel guilty...Caleb wouldn't want you too. He is now over in rainbow bridge and is no longer in pain....

Thinking of you at this hard time

Eva x
post #14 of 15
I'm so sorry for your loss of Caleb. I know how much it hurts, as I just lost my friend, Candy, on Dec. 27 - my buddy for almost 15 years. My first post to this website was a eulogy to her. It is indeed theraputic to share grief with others who understand and care.

Give LeeLu an extra hug every day for Caleb, and take comfort knowing you will see him again.
post #15 of 15
Thread Starter 
Thank you all for everything, I hope everyone is recovered from the Holidays and I hope everyone had a good time. I couple weeks after Christmas is always hard for me, since it is my favorite holiday it's hard to let it go. Just the feeling of Christmas time is what gets me, I'm not so much worried now about the gifts a such like I was when I was younger but it's still nice to give and recieve. Like I said it's getting easier each day to talke about Caleb and thinking about him isn't as painful as it was the first few days after letting him go. I know he's over the bridge now and I will see him again. LeeLu seems to be adjusting to not having Caleb around as well. I think she realized now that she is the cat of the house and she is doing the best she can to make us all feel better and be the great cat that she is. She's a very cute girl and altough she is no Caleb she is still very sweet. Please keep posting as every post I read and appreicate thank you all very much for the support. God Bless You All and all of your Pets. God Bless Caleb.

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