Right on MA
-
Too many ads? Join our community of cat lovers now to reduce ads by 90%! Click here to join for free!
I could use some opinions right now
- Thread starter hopehacker
- Start Date
Hope, that gift is extremely tacky and the fact she left the price tag on makes it even worse. To me it sounds like she didn't even go out and buy it just for you, something she probably had lying around the house and she doesn't use VO5 so she thinks, I'll stick a bow on and give it to my friend. If I were you, I would be very hurt and insulted to. If she was so set on giving you a gift, why not go get a single rose or a make a nice homemade card or something. sorry but who gives cheap shampoo as a gift!!?? You should stop loaning her your movies, and if she asks why, just point out the "lovely" gift she gave you.
Just wanna give you an example of your "friend" is not the only person who does these sort of things.
Last year my mom receieved a VERY tacky gift from my uncle's girlfriend. My mom got her a couple of very nice gift and this is what she gets and I am not kidding: two USED OPEN BOTTLES of raspberry fantasy! Not even the full size ones but the little ones that comes in a set. The bottles were half empty, yellowed from age, and one was cracked! AND they had a smell like they were old and festering inside the bottle. It was stuck inside a cheapo christmas basket and not even wrapped. My mom was very mad about this, and the woman gave her the gift in front of the entire family. My mom said she'd rather not have anything than some old used junk like that.
Don't get down Hope, just brush her off your shoulder and don't let her take advantage of your movie collection anymore.
Just wanna give you an example of your "friend" is not the only person who does these sort of things.
Last year my mom receieved a VERY tacky gift from my uncle's girlfriend. My mom got her a couple of very nice gift and this is what she gets and I am not kidding: two USED OPEN BOTTLES of raspberry fantasy! Not even the full size ones but the little ones that comes in a set. The bottles were half empty, yellowed from age, and one was cracked! AND they had a smell like they were old and festering inside the bottle. It was stuck inside a cheapo christmas basket and not even wrapped. My mom was very mad about this, and the woman gave her the gift in front of the entire family. My mom said she'd rather not have anything than some old used junk like that.
Don't get down Hope, just brush her off your shoulder and don't let her take advantage of your movie collection anymore.
You said she expects something from you now?
Buy her something that is NO MORE expensive than what she gave you.
And something as thoughtless.
She is not what I would call a "friend".
Common courtesy vs. mooching free movies does not even compare.
She sounds like a very self-centered child.
Buy her something that is NO MORE expensive than what she gave you.
And something as thoughtless.
She is not what I would call a "friend".
Common courtesy vs. mooching free movies does not even compare.
She sounds like a very self-centered child.
Hope, 1) if you already told her you did not want to exchange gifts this year you are under no obligation to buy her a gift. If she chooses to give you a gift (even a tacky one), that is her prerogative but does not mandate that you reciprocate; 2) this gift is not worthy of reciprocation; 3) she would be a good person to avoid as often as possible; 4) I would ensure that I have no "new" DVD's for her to watch (perhaps you could tell her you had to spend your money on shampoo and conditioner and couldn't afford any new DVD's this month).
Seriously, she is a user so don't get pulled into her game. Good manners in this instance is that you forewarned her that you did not want to exchange gifts so therefore you are under no obligation to buy her anything, period!
And for heaven's sake, don't let this manipulative person make you feel guilty about anything.
Be strong, sister!
Seriously, she is a user so don't get pulled into her game. Good manners in this instance is that you forewarned her that you did not want to exchange gifts so therefore you are under no obligation to buy her anything, period!
And for heaven's sake, don't let this manipulative person make you feel guilty about anything.
Be strong, sister!
I totally agree. There was an old Garfield comic where Garfield made a face at Jon, then Jon made a face at Garfield. Garfield says "You win, you were uglier to begin with!"
As much as it is tempting to get her a Blockbuster gift card for $1.99, or a bottle of store brand shampoo...don't stoop to her level. (Trust me, I'm sure she can out do you in meanness!) If she says anything about her gift to you, thank her kindly but do let her know that it is not your brand so you donated it to the homeless shelter. And don't let her know of all the DVD's you purchase. If you want to keep sharing, fine, so long as she always returns them. If not, just quit sharing!
You are never under any obligation to give a gift, and especially if you already said you would not. Some people are manipulative and users, and as long as you keep giving to them, they are nice on the surface, but she may get real ugly if you cut her off. Just remember that it is her problem, not yours.
I'm sorry your feelings were hurt. She is not worth your time.
I'd have mixed feelings too. I can understand not spending a lot of money on someone who doesn't have a lot of money to spend, because I try not to make people feel guilty (probably because I feel guilty for everything myself). But, I also know people who will give a crappy gift so that I'll feel obligated to get them something--but I don't think they'd do that if I told them I couldn't get them anything beforehand.
I say do what you feel comfortable doing. If you feel like you should get her something, then do it; at least your conscience will be clear. If you don't think she deserves one, then don't. Try not to analyze it so much. (I do that too, so I know how you feel.) The basket that she got could have been on sale, or in the "damaged" pile, or even a re-gift, so she might not have even spent more on the other person. Or maybe she loves your hair so much, that is what she thought of to get you, and the other person loves...fruit. You just never know, so assume the best and be happy.
I say do what you feel comfortable doing. If you feel like you should get her something, then do it; at least your conscience will be clear. If you don't think she deserves one, then don't. Try not to analyze it so much. (I do that too, so I know how you feel.) The basket that she got could have been on sale, or in the "damaged" pile, or even a re-gift, so she might not have even spent more on the other person. Or maybe she loves your hair so much, that is what she thought of to get you, and the other person loves...fruit. You just never know, so assume the best and be happy.
I agree.Originally Posted by hissy
I would be hurt as well Hope, and also would stop lending her DVD's and seeking out her company. And although it is not the price of the gift that matters, she could at least have taken off the price tag and added a hairbrush, some hair ties, and a KISS CD
This type of stuff used to happen to me all the time growing up Hope. And really, don't dwell on it. It makes you a stronger and kinder person overall. And Karma has a way of payback-
i think that's not only a tacky gift but to give it to you in front of everyone with the price tag still on and then give someone else a huge flashy gift at the same time? that's just rude.
as for holding a door open...that's not a favour, that's common courtesy.
i think you need to stop lending her your DVD's and don't do anything for her....see how long she sticks around then
goodluck
felicia
there your DVD's and i'd be the same if they were mine, i'd want to watch them first, she should be greatful you even lend them to her at all, she sounds like she takes you for granted or doesn't know the meaning of friendship.
as for holding a door open...that's not a favour, that's common courtesy.
i think you need to stop lending her your DVD's and don't do anything for her....see how long she sticks around then
goodluck
felicia
- Joined
- Jun 10, 2003
- Messages
- 11,614
- Purraise
- 19
Hope, I've read your later reply too, but it looks like you already know the answer to the question as to why she'd get you a gift like that. I think you are right. She doesn't value you at all and she expects you to get her something now. I think you should wrap up a chunk of moldy cheese on a stick (find a popsicle stick) with a few bites out of it. Do it ahead of time so it can get moldier by the time she unwraps it.
Anyway, I know you don't have it in you to pay her back that way, but it was just a thought. Just remember, she knows even better than we do that you don't have it in you to treat her like she deserves to be treated, which is why she tries to get away with her behavior.
Dude its like the "Ask for a sip of soda rule".....Someone may ask you for a sip of your soda.....but if the bottle isnt opened yet....its understood that it is your sip.....ya know.......this goes under the same rule....she is breaking the laws of nature......
What a
Anyhooo......if ya ever want to stoop to her lvl and get back at her....which I know you wont...but its fun to think about.....You should...the next time she asks for a DVD...say "No, you never returned the last one, I'm not giving you any till you give me that one back"...then tell any mutual friends that shes a DVD thief...and then they wont give her any DVD's either.....
Yeah I know pretty immature....but it would be funny......
- Joined
- Feb 19, 2001
- Messages
- 34,872
- Purraise
- 77
I said this in the other thread Hope, but I will say it again- buy her a Chia Pet!
I seem to have grown up in a family where I appreciate everything. What's wrong with V05 S & C? IMO none of them help my frizzy afro mop anyway.
I'd accept it, smile and use it!
JMO though
I'd accept it, smile and use it!
- Joined
- Feb 6, 2001
- Messages
- 12,773
- Purraise
- 6
I wouldn't use it! Like you, Hope, I am choosy about the hair care products I use. You smiled, accepted; that's enough. I'd close the free DVD rental facility. Here's my question - does this person mean enough to you to be hurt? If not, don't worry about it.
Hope, wrap it back up and give it back to her.....
along with a stick of deoderant.
along with a stick of deoderant.
Originally Posted by mzjazz2u
Hope, wrap it back up and give it back to her.....
along with a stick of deoderant.
Yeah.... now THAT would send a clear messageOriginally Posted by halfpint
Oh now that's good
And empty the bottles refill them with Nair!
I think that is a pretty tacky gift. If she wanted to go inexpensive, she could have found a card or something with a little thought behind it.
Maybe you should reciprocate and get her a roll of scotch tape or something.
Maybe you should reciprocate and get her a roll of scotch tape or something.
- Joined
- Jun 10, 2003
- Messages
- 11,614
- Purraise
- 19
That's one of the best ideas so far. I suggest pouring some of it out first so she can't "innocently" return it to the store. Then wrap it up.Originally Posted by mzjazz2u
Hope, wrap it back up and give it back to her.....
along with a stick of deoderant.
