I could use some opinions right now

Originally Posted by maverick_kitten

give it back to her if she expects a present! price tag and all.

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Ooh or buy her some Head and Shoulders!
Hmmm, this situation could deteriorate quickly. I think you're a more dignified person, and you don't want to be embroiled in some tit-for-tat b*tchiness. If you'd feel better giving her a gift, get some (cheap) chocolates, and plan on shutting her out of your life in the new year. She can go get her own DVDs!

get her a 1.99 gift cetificate to blockbuster!

Sounds pretty tacky.....especially the way it was given. I'd probably be hurt too.

Originally Posted by maverick_kitten

get her a 1.99 gift certificate to blockbuster!

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That sounds like the perfect response.

I wouldn't lend her any more dvds.

I'd be hurt too sweetie - even when i'm strapped for cash, I like to make the effort to try to make ends meet or to create something for the people I care about - like you said, it's the thought that counts, and there's no thought in that "gift" - and she probably doesn't even have the excuse of being "strapped for cash". I know you feel like you're being ungrateful, but I don't think you are. They say that christmas is about the giving, not the getting.... well just what exactly was she giving you?

NO more lending out your DVDs!! I hope you feel better about it soon

That was soooo tacky! A nice card would have been more thoughtful. I know it is the thought that counts, but there wasn't even any thought to that! My holiday wish for you is a friend that appreciates you. That one obviously does not.

I do understand how you feel. I think it does tell you your instincts about this person were correct, or it may simply tell you she is awkward, not intentionally, and it isn't on purpose. But on purpose or not, it hurts.

I think it would have been better if she'd simply made you something she knew you might enjoy, a personal, thought put into it gift that would not make you feel uncomfortable because she would have respected your feelings about not wanting to exchange, but shown you she really does care for you.

I too believe in karma...don't get harsh on yourself, feelings are feelings, they aren't right or wrong.

That is just tacky. Here people give each other a single flower as a small gift or token of affection, always beautifully wrapped and ribboned. I think it is a nice custom, and though not expensive, shows thoughtfulness.

Heck Hope, give her a bag of cat litter and tell her to go scoop herself!

Thank you everyone. You've all made me feel a lot better. I was kind of ashamed of myself for being hurt. I think if she would have just brought it to me, privately, it wouldn't have hurt me so badly, but when she brought it in to the party, with that super grande gift she gave the other lady, it just made me feel belittled. I probably wouldn't have felt belittled had she given the other person a gift on the same or almost the same level, but the other gift was such a "Show Off" gift, it seemed, and it seemed to me that even without doing it on purpose she was telling me, I'm not worth much of anything.

I remember one week, she wanted to borrow a brand new DVD I had purchased, and I told her she could, but not until I had watched it. I don't know, I'm funny, I like to watch the DVD's I bought and paid for, before I loan them out. She wasn't happy about that. She told me to hurry up and watch it. I told her it would probably take me about a week before I got to it, because I was in the middle of watching one of the Buffy the Vampire Seasons, and I wanted to finish those first. She got really huffy and told me how kind she was to me, because she opened the door for me, when I had my arms full, and that she didn't HAVE to do that, but she believed if she did something kind, that then that favour would be returned. To be honest I have never thought twice about holding the door for someone, if they needed it or even if they were coming in right behind me. She went off in a huff, because I wouldn't watch that DVD according to her schedule.

So, I've never really thought that she was what you'd call a really nice person. I just thought she'd have a bit more class than to give me such tacky and belittling gift. Like I said, no gift would have been better. Now, I know she expects me to go get something for her.

Originally Posted by rapunzel47

I have to agree here. If she was honouring your request not to have a gift by making it a small one, there are many other more gracious ways of doing that. Certainly you don't leave the price tag on, especially on something that anyone who goes into the shops knows the (small) value of, and certainly you don't give this "token" in public, at the same time as you give a lavish gift to someone else. She can only be "making a point", though beats me what that point might be. She certainly proves how little she values the "friendship".

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I can't say it any better than that!

Holy smokes Hope, she is no friend, she is a taker.

I'm on my way out the door and I've only skimmed the replies, so forgive me if this is redundant:

Is it possible that this was her inept and unimaginative, but perfectly sincere, attempt to give you a little something that would not make you feel bad for not reciprocating? And maybe that's why the tag was still on it, to show you that it hadn't cost much and you didn't need to feel guilty?

Some people really can be that off-kilter in their thinking. I wouldn't assume she meant to be offensive... I'd just ignore it and go on, and include her in your life only insofar as you enjoy having her there.

Originally Posted by jennyranson

That is just tacky. Here people give each other a single flower as a small gift or token of affection, always beautifully wrapped and ribboned. I think it is a nice custom, and though not expensive, shows thoughtfulness.

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Though I have to wonder if she re-gifted both items. I wouldn't take it personally. She just doesn't sound like the most thoughtful person. And I would stop lending her DVD's so often.

Oh, sheesh. When I submitted my first reply, I saw your post just above it, Hope, and that story negates everything I said. This woman is what I call a ledger-keeper, and everyone else here is right.

What is WITH some people?

I would be hurt too, and this is just me, but I would say thank you, because at least she took a few quick minutes and a little thought to get it for you. She did not forget about you.

I think maybe she was trying to a) make a point b) forgot about you and bought it at the last minute c) didn't know what to get you d) honestly thought you might like it ..........

..........But I think you should just not think on it so much since it is bothering you. We will never know what was going through her head, there isn't much you can do about it. Just try to forget about it, and move on, relax and have a Merry Christmas!!

Originally Posted by hissy

Heck Hope, give her a bag of cat litter and tell her to go scoop herself!

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Theres buying toiletries such as bath products etc... as a gift for someone, but shampoo and hair condiditoner?!.

Hope sweetie she's seen you coming, so you have to become harder and tell her no on the dvd's.

Well, I've been watching this thread with some amusement. Since your "friend" was so kind as to buy you a gift for Christmas and then most likely, maliciously left the price tag on, I think it's appropriate for you to get her a gift as well.
I think you should get her a can of adhesive remover. When and if she questions you about it, you can calmly explain that you thought a nice practical gift would be the right thing for her and it can be of service to her for years to come, through-out all the gift giving seasons.