Scared kitty. What should I do?

I am sending prayers and good wishes. I hope things get better soon. there are some really wonderful, wise people here who know a lot about cats! I will check back to see how you all are.

She is doing much better! She ate and went potty in her litter box. She is sleeping in Cupid's condo, which I hope gets her used to Cupid's scent. It has a clean pillow in it, but the carpet on the outside should have him all over it.

I'm going to go in there later and read her a magazine. I just hope that when she jumps on me for lovin', she doesn't bite. I think if she does I'll just put her down and leave the room. Maybe it means she's had enough, even though she wants more.

I think Opal was kept longer (and named) because the breeder was going to breed her but decided not to. Several people have asked that.

I am so glad little Opal is doing better! Give her and Cupid a belly rub from Aunt Carla

I talked to her breeder and she said to say no firmly when she bites. She said that she got a lot of stimulation there and she never bit them. I went in there to read to her and she came over to me and started rubbing against me and nudging my hands, so I pet her. She tried to bite me and I said no and left the room. Now she's crying for me to come back in there and it's so pitiful. I want to --especially because she's scared and I want to comfort her--but she has to know biting is wrong, right?

Her breeder said that she had a brother she played with and a mother, and that she probably misses them. She said that other breeders said it could take up to a month to get a teenage kitten to adapt.

The situation with Opal has become extremely emotionally draining. I tell her NO and leave the room when she bites, but my concern is that she doesn't understand. She cries for me when I leave and it breaks my heart. Her breeder said I should give her more time alone, but I think by her actions that she's ready for me to come in there and be with her. She comes out of her carrier as soon as I go in there now, and even comes to the door and greets me.

I'm scared to touch her, which I think is making it hard for us to bond. When I pet her, I keep my hands out of reach so she doesn't have the opportunity to bite, and when my roommate gets home, I take him in there and let her bite him instead. I moved when she has sniffed for longer than I feel comfortable with and I can tell that it's making her a little (more) uneasy. She won't sit still while I'm petting her, but she purrs very loudly and keeps walking aound me the whole time, kneeding into the carpet with each step--and she keeps ALMOST rolling on her back, but then she stops herself.

Since she's used to having a brother, and Cupid and her have communicated through the door, I'm wondering if it would be easier for her if she meets Cupid and can bond with him, and through him (and seeing me love on him), get used to me as well. However, even if that would help her, I don't feel comfortable giving her contact with Cupid while she is still biting.

I would feel better if I just knew if anything I'm doing is helping her. She also barely eats. She eats about 5-10 pieces of kibble a day, and hasn't pooped yet. She drinks a lot of water and has gone wee in her litter box twice. She's been here since Friday night. If I have to take her to the vet, it would set her back and destroy any progress we have made. I just don't know what to do.

It just occured to me that a savannah breeder that I know had this problem with one of her savannahs-the biting and wanting to be pet and everything you described. Come to find out it was a hormonal imbalance. Is opal spayed yet? If not that may be the problem.

Breathe! I know the helpless "I'm a bad mommy" feeling because I'm going though it myself right now.

You should be able to get Feliway from a vet... that's where I got mine. It might cost a little more (I did price comparisons online today 'cause I am now using it) but not by much.

I generally use "The New Natural Cat" by Anitra Frazier, and in it she talks about a big cat named Purr who bit. She said that when he did it she as so surprised she relaxed toward him and started to cry and whimper like a kitten. He never did it again.

I know I'm just a newbie here but I have worked with a lot of shelter cats and if you are projecting "I'm scared" to her, then she is going to pick up on that. Perhaps you could try just sitting in the room with her and focus on a pleasant memory or scene? Think positive!

I'm not sure what to do about her not pooping though except massage (or get your roommate to do it) her belly to move things along.

Hope some of this helps and good luck!

Hi Purr

I think there are a few things you can do.

1) you're confusing the kitty by not letting her bite you, but then letting her bite your roommate. Your goal needs to be, she learns she cannot bite anyone - biting is inappropriate behavior.

2) It took my kitties MANY months to learn the word "no". and for them to really get that we mean business, it has to be said in a loud (not yelling), firm voice. Something very different from our usual speaking voice to grab their attention. Make sure when you tell her no, you are firm about it. There should be a change in the tone of your voice and your body language.
I would also suggest 'talking' to her the way another cat would. When my kitties tussle, if one of them starts to play too rough, there's a warning growl, followed by a hiss and if none of that works there's usually a swat or a rabbit kick that means business (but I don't think you should rabbit kick your baby!). I do know that on the rare occasion I hiss or "psst!" at my kitties for bad behavior, they are usually so startled they stop immediately and look around to see why I'm fussing at them. This is how momma cat would teach her babies when they play too rough, and you are her "momma cat" now.
Also, try looking for subtle signals she may be sending before she bites you. I have a stray cat we're caring for who will get super affectionate, and as her loving escalates in will suddenly turn into biting and rabbit kicking. I know to look out for "crazy cat eyes" where her pupils will suddenly dilate, her ears move back slightly and her tail will start to switch more abruptly than before. and she does this all while purring and rubbing all over my hands and licking me, etc. So I just have to pay attention and know when i'm getting her too riled up. I usually either stop petting her all together, or slow down and pet her along her back which seems to be a neutral area for her.

3) As for the not pooping, since she hasn't been eating very much, it makes sense she hasn't pooped. There isn't anything there to poo! I think a trip to the vet is a good idea, even if just because she's a new cat in your home. I'm sure she came with a health certificate from her breeder, but it won't hurt to have a professional double check her. I assume that you're feeding her the same food she got from her breeder. Are you free feeding her? She might eat more when she's by herself as you seem to be the most amazing distraction to her! Can she eat wet food or any kind of treats - just so she's eating something right now?

So I hope my ramblings offer some helpful suggestions. I'm sure she'll come around. She's just got to take her own amount of time to get used to a new location, new owners and a new cat! That's a lot of changes!
And I also just wanted to add that I think Cupid is adorable! I loved reading you journal entries about him and his photos. I hope to see some of Opal soon!

Oh, last minute thought! do you have a feather toy or something similar to play with her? She may also have lots of wound up energy and any time you can redirect her biting and aggression to more appropriate areas is good.

~Julia

Originally Posted by Purr

If I have to take her to the vet, it would set her back and destroy any progress we have made. I just don't know what to do.

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Take her to the vet. Better safe than sorry. If she isn't eating much, it probably is a good idea for her to be seen, just for your own peace of mind.

Yes, it could set you back. We adopted Abby, then had to bring her back to the shelter to be spayed 5 days later then due to various illnesses, we had multiple trips to the vet along with having to medicate her twice a day for a very long time. It set us back in a HUGE way, but I wouldn't change what I did. She got healthy, and we got peace of mind knowing she was getting taken care of and slowly becoming healthy.

Thank you all so, so much for your replies. This site is the only thing keeping me sane right now when it the stress in the air is so thick I can chew it.

Opal made progress last night, though. What a relief. She bit my roommate again and I said NO and we left immediately w/o talking to her (usually I say bye bye for a little bit before I leave; she hates being alone. ). We went back in a couple hours later, and after a while she started to bite him a few times, but decided not to and trotted to her carrier because she knew! Then I gave her lots of lovin' for deciding not to bite--of course, I'm still scared to get my hands close to her mouth. She loves the "Cupid rub" though, on the top of her head--that's Cupid's favorite too. But, when she turns her head, I move away. I wish I could just let her bite me so I can say no, because I'm worried she's just learning not to bite him. Even if she's learning not to bite at all, I can't trust her until she shows the same restraint towards me, but I can't get myself to give her the chance.

She ate a lot last night! I've been giving her the food her breeder sent with her, because she hasn't been eating right away and I have to leave it in there. However, this morning when I went in there to scoop and give her fresh water/food, she looked at the food like she wanted to eat, so she might have after I left. So I might be able to feed her Cupid's food soon. She was more interested in being loved on. She also hissed at me, though, when I was scooping. But, she was in a different spot, so she probably didn't feel as safe. She went to her carrier, then came out to get lovin'.

She is spayed.

Oh, and last night, she also sat down to be pet instead of walking around the whole time like she's confused. Just a few times, for a few seconds, but it's progress. She still almost rolls over, but stops herself. Poor baby is so uneasy. I wish I could tell her. I think this will take longer than a week. Her breeder said it could take a month.

I've actually thought about playing with her, but I didn't know if it would make her more bitey. I'll try that today.

Yea!!! she is eating!

You have to feel bad for this poor baby. She has had it tough lately - she was spayed, put on a plane, had a long drive, and now is at a hoseu where she doesn't know anyone. It will all be OK once she gets used to you.

Can you wear any type of gloves when you want to pet her head?

I've been thinking about that! I don't know what kind of gloves to get, though. Something that she won't be scared of, but she can't bite through (or not a lot through if she does).

Originally Posted by Purr

I've been thinking about that! I don't know what kind of gloves to get, though. Something that she won't be scared of, but she can't bite through (or not a lot through if she does).

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try some basic gardening.. the cloth kind with the little bumps ... it will give you protection and she may be slightly deterred

My newest foster kitty bit me a couple times, but didn't draw blood. I thought it was that she was protecting her litter of kittens, but she went from purring to a firm bite. Maybe it is just being in a new house and feeling they have to let us know they are not pushovers.

Sounds like just saying "no" if she bites and leaving the room is a great idea. And it sounds like you are both learning-she is learning not to bite, and you are learning not to entice her to bite! LOL! I think if she was with other cats, they may have had a lot of rough housing, and maybe she misses it. A feather toy, or a big furry mouse tied on the end of a shoe lace will give her something to kill or dominate, and may help her be less aggressive with you.

I doubt it will take a month for her to adjust. It has only been a few days, and she had been through surgery, shots, and a flight. The fact that she is not cowering under a bed shows that she is a pretty resilient kitty.

She will learn to trust you as her meowmie, as you learn to trust her not to bite you. Silly girl, I almost wonder if someone played rough with her with their hands, and she learned to bite. That may make it a little harder to unlearn, but she is a cat, and very smart.

Also, I think just leaving the room for 5-10 minutes after a bite is enough. I mean, if you have other things to do, fine. But if you want to spend more time with her, just go back in after a little timeout.

Congrats on your new baby!

I am glad to see that you are making some progress! Years from now you are going to look back at all of this and laugh.

Wow you have got some great advice these last few days! All this work you are putting into making Opal comfortable will payoff very soon.

You are such a good mommy!

Aww, what an awful time for you. my neighbours used to have an ex-feral that was temperamental. You could be stroking her and she would attack you, yet a few mins later, she would be back for fussing. I never showed I was scared of her though, and I always fussed her when I saw her - her owner rarely did as he was too wary of being attacked. As a result, it got less and less over the 4 years I knew her, as she knew that she wouldn't get punished (except for being ignored), but that I also wouldnt hold it against her (most of the times in the beginning were me not reading the signs, and either stroking her too long or in places she didnt like) - she did show her appreciation too. Sometimes just being able to read the signs is enough to avoid getting bit - she does sound like my neighbours cat in that she will want fussing fairly soon after.

Opal was so good at the vet. I was so proud of her. She didn't bite anyone, and she was handled a lot. She was purring the whole time, and when we were alone, I was holding her and she was kneeding into me. When he gave her a shot, she jumped into my arms and held on tight, so at least she trusts me that much. I think the vet experience made us closer, because I definitely trust her more now. I knew she didn't bite when she was scared, though. I just hope she keeps from nipping when she's lovey, too. Or at least not as hard.

If she goes poopy by Friday, and she feels better, she might be ready to come out of her room. She already comes out sometimes when I open the door.